Online dating success stories please!

[shalligiveupagain]

After several years of being single I decided to give online dating another go but close to giving up already. The majority of people on there just seem to want someone to invite them over for a shag, if they even want to actually meet someone in real life at all.

Anyway, thought I had found one worth a shot, messaged for a few days, all very nice, flirty without being over the top, all good. But he then tried to turn it into sexting before we had even met, something I'm not into, particularly before the first date. I set my boundary and all seemed ok but he now seems to have lost interest, not messaging as much, etc.

Is there anyone left out there who wants to find something genuine with someone? I like the sexual side of a relationship as much as the next person but don't want to conduct it over a phone.

Anyone managed to meet someone decent who respected boundaries? (no judgement on sexting, just not for me)

I did. Was ready to give up OLD but one profile caught my eye and I decided to send one last message before deleting the apps. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary

@Rockfordpeach that's lovely, congratulations. Perhaps I'll keep going a bit longer.

My third date worked. We have been together since 2007!

Monday was very much false publicity but Wednesday is now DH. It's been a decade.

@kalokagathos thanks your your reply. I'm struggling to get to the date stage, no one seems to be bothered about actually dating, just want dirty talk over messages. I have met people online before, several years ago, but it seems even worse now.

@Wallywobbles thanks for answering, I think I just need to persevere. It's exhausting sifting through the liars and pervs though.

Four of my friends online dated when we were in our forties, well one was still in her thirties. This is a decade ago.

All married, one is now divorced the other three seem happy and that’s great for them but good grief the quality of those husbands isn’t up to scratch in two of those marriages and one friend put up with real shit. I mentioned this to her and she dropped me after, he was abusive and unpleasant. My other friend has become a mouthpiece for her DH opinion's, he isn’t abusive so I have kept quiet but don’t see her so much. She sends odd long messages that aren’t really saying much and seems to have lost herself. He is a Facebook ranter. The other seems to have hit the jackpot and has a really lovely DH.

I have friends who met their partners online but those were all several years ago - pre covid era.

It does seem to be that’s OLD has changed quite a lot over the last few years from what I hear. I’ve heard far fewer success stories in recent years than those who met 6/8/10 years ago.

Ive had same experience as you OP and currently taking a break as I didn’t find it at all enjoyable.

My husband and I met through on line dating. We've been together 15 years. However, I almost gave up before he came along as there were a lot of time wasters, people who just wanted to meet for sex, creeps, and people who were in relationships. I updated my profile at the very top by saying I was looking for a committed relationship and that I would not respond to time wasters, people in relationships or anyone wanting sex/sexting. Sadly it still attracted some of the above but I think you get a good idea about people. I also did a bit of facebook/Instagram research once I obtained their full name. You can tell so much from their pictures and updates.

@KentLife01

I do SM research as well. Once you move to WhatsApp they seem to come up on FB as people you might know so it’s easy to have a bit of a nose.
I found out that a man I was talking to had told me his photos were recent but the same ones were on his FB in 2012/13 😱

I started OLD in 2020 in my 40's after a marriage breakdown. I definitely met my share of timewasters and spoke to countless men who wanted to sext or were looking for casual but pretended to want a relationship on their profile.
But I met the loveliest man in August 21 and we have been together ever since. He never sent a suggestive message, was very clear in his interest in me, no game playing whatsoever- he was so refreshing after the previous men! He is still just as lovely, talking future plans, very open about his feelings for me and I love him very much. I would never have met him irl because we live a distance apart so I'm very grateful for Tinder

I had a lot of genuinely rubbish dates and a good few that were fine but just went nowhere. Was also very fed up of the time, effort and expense I was putting into dating and then I met dh. We're 6 years together and have a ds now and still going strong. Made all the rubbish dates worth it. I have about 4 friends who met their oh online dating/ tinder. I think you just need to be quite ruthless and very honest about who you are and what you're looking. I also found that a day date for coffee etc after a while chatting ruled out the ones just looking for a quick fling.

There's a lovely woman (Allora the late bloomer) on TikTok who is 33 and has been in her first ever relationship thanks to Hinge for almost a year now. They seem really happy and no doubt she still would have still been single had she not given it a go.

Someone else I know also met and married her first ever boyfriend (first ever date in fact) on Tinder and they have two young kids. They're happy and it's very much a lid for every pot situation with them both. I think she also would have still been single into her 30s had she never tried Tinder.

In both cases they had to put up with a lot of disrespect and disappointment on the apps but it paid off in the end.

A FTM trans colleague met his now wife on OK Cupid when he was 40 and newly transitioned and they now have a baby (using his eggs!) and have been blissfully happy for the past 10 years.

I met DH through online dating, but that was 20 years ago and I think it was a bit more straightforward then.

52 year old here. Lots of online dating since divorce. Now in my second serious OLD relationship with a genuine and lovely man. 14 months in after meeting on Tinder and very happy 😊

All 4 of my best friends met their husbands via online dating.

It definitely works but it is a bit of a numbers game.

I thought I’d met ‘the one’ on Hinge but that relationship broke down a couple of months ago after 2.5 years.

I’m back on Hinge but there seems to be a noticeable drop in quality since I was last on there in 2020.

Met dp just over 3 years ago and am very happy - my third date on that site, but I'd been on lots of others though just casually. But I was previously widowed and I know there's no guarantees in life.

Yes, met my partner through OLD and we've been together nearly a year and are very happy. No really bad experiences before that, went on about 4 first dates before meeting him, with the others there was no spark.

Met DH online in 2012. I had a string of happy first dates when I moved to London. Felt more settled and decided one more, and it was DH. I left the second date and went home and told my flatmates he was the one I was going to marry (and we did get married in 2017).

Thanks for all the replies, they do give me some hope. Agree it's a numbers game but so frustrating. I just wish people would be upfront in the first place.

It turns out I was right and he is now too busy to meet up, although was keen until I wouldn't go along with the dirty messages.

Maybe I need to try a different site?

I decided to try OLD after splitting up with my first husband. I got lucky as I had a message from somebody within the first few hours on being on there who seemed decent. Nice smile, literate, no dick picks, good conversation. Decided to meet up just a week later and that was that, married two years later and have been together for six years now.

Which one are you on?

My DB met his now wife on the internet 21 years ago. Two children later and still very much happy and in love

@PermanentTemporary plenty of fish