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Relationships

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Original poster

Would these put you off a man?

66 replies

TreacleTrees · 02/12/2023 19:55

Would love others opinions on if I am being ‘picky’ over a man I’m seeing.

Met a man through a shared hobby.
We have known each other for a year, been seeing each other for 6 months.
we get on great. He’s lovely.

but…. There are some things that I am put off by and I would like to hear other girls opinions on if these things would put you off too?

1- he owns about 5 tops and wears them on rotation. It’s basically 5 of the same plain tshirt, a different colour of each. That’s ALL he wears.
map any time we have met or when he sends me a photo he is only ever wearing one of the 5 T-shirts.
(for context he has a well paid job)

2- his penis smells a bit. So I don’t like to go down on him unless he’s straight out of the shower.

3- he does not trim his pubes. It’s a big bush and o have mentioned

OP posts:

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 03/12/2023 06:58

Does he make effort in other areas of his life? Sounds lazy...

Newnamehiwhodis · 03/12/2023 07:09

No, none of these things would put me off, as they can all be solved with conversations and exploration. (The shirts thing, IDGAF.) it’s his body and his choice,
and sex isn’t a performance of some kind. If you want to grow in relationship with someone, talk, communicate, play, develop a partnership.

this all sounds v shallow, tbh, and I get it if you’re not looking for long term, but if you’re looking for a true and real relationship, I don’t think this is the way to go about it

terraced · 03/12/2023 07:12

Good on him about the 5 tops. I do pretty much the same (and don't iron them either!).

RocketIceLollie · 03/12/2023 07:30

So you have shared hobbies, he's lovely, and you get on great, but yet you are fixated on his negatives...if you really think in this day and age of modern dating that you'll find someone who you get on with & treats you nice, and ticks all your boxes, then move on. Otherwise each of those three things that irk you can be addressed fairly simply.

Sparkletastic · 03/12/2023 07:33

Poor personal grooming and inept in bed certainly enough to put me off a man.

cottonTale · 03/12/2023 07:52

@esmeisa I believe most men trim now. I'm 40s and not met one who doesn't.

Codlingmoths · 03/12/2023 08:47

2 would be ICK. 1 is fine (especially if he’d wear something different if you’d like it, although i do like the simplicity of his approach), 3 is fine too, that’s how people are made.

TitInATrance · 03/12/2023 08:55

TreacleTrees · 02/12/2023 19:57

Oh and he doesn’t know how to pleasure a woman other than via sex (and he’s perfect at that bit) I just don’t know if I want to be the teacher of how to touch a woman.

Given sufficient stamina and perfection that would be my preference. I’m somewhat disappointed that a FWB of a year has been learning new tricks and shifting his focus.

Only the cleanliness issue would put me off - shower every time.

Depdawg · 03/12/2023 09:03

Get rid OP. He clearly thinks you're not worth making the effort for. The poor personal hygiene is enough on its own.

perfectcolourfound · 03/12/2023 09:04

Tshirt - so long as they're clean I wouldn't mind too much.
Pubic hair - wouldn't bother me. His body, his choice.Some people prefer nude, some trimmed, some all natural. I don't like the bare look (on men or women) and would be really put off by someone going bare.

Both of these are just personal choices. He's not 'wrong'. You just have different preferences, and if they put you off him, then it's OK to leave him.

Smelly penis - if he's generally clean and washes regularly, it's just his normal scent, and I would work around it. If he doesn't wash, that would be really off-putting.

No good at pleasuring you - mmmm. Is it down to being selfish or inexperienced? a) wouldn't tolerate; b) would give some feedback and reap the rewards.

TeeBee · 03/12/2023 09:06

You lost me at smelly cock. Gross. It's a no from me.

Pigeonqueen · 03/12/2023 09:10

Smelly anything is a no from me. 🤮🤮🤢

youngones1 · 03/12/2023 09:10

If you were really into hime, these are all solvable.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 03/12/2023 09:15

You sound incompatible. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with him only having a few t-shirts and not wanting to dress up, but it sounds like clothes and appearance are important to you. Nothing wrong with natural pubic hair (I never do anything with mine and find the thought of being bald like a child weird/ creepy) but again if you remove everything and that’s a preference it sounds like he isn’t right for you. I don’t agree with the people saying these things can be changed so stick with it, he shouldn’t have to change to meet your standards anymore than you should have to grow your pubic hair and dress more casually or give up ironing. Sounds like you’re not well suited and you’re better ending it now before things get serious.

gannett · 03/12/2023 09:18

Is the smelly cock because he's unhygienic and doesn't wash it, or is it just smelly in the sense that anyone's genitals are a bit pungent at the end of the day? The former is a dealbreaker, the latter is not. Obviously he should freshen up before sex.

I'm a bit confused by the whole "doesn't know how to please a woman except for being very good at sex" thing. Do you mean he doesn't go down on you? That can be easily taught. If he doesn't want to go down on you, his choice but that would likely be a dealbreaker for me.

I don't see why his rotation of 5 t-shirts is a problem at all, unless it's particularly important to you to have a fashionable partner. (Personally I've found more men attractive in plain, well-cut t-shirts than when they're attempting to be fashionable, though.)

ScarlettSunset · 03/12/2023 09:23

The deal breaker for me would be 2.
I've be actively happy that he didn't have loads of different clothes and a man can do whatever he wants with his own pubes!
Teaching him how to touch would also be fine as far as I'm concerned as women are all different and like different things anyway. I'd get pretty fed up if someone didn't want to take the time to learn how to please me though.

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