Ex wont leave unless I give him £50k

[LexieAndSloaneTho]

Split with partner about 6 months ago. He was a gaslighter and had been lying and was just the icing on the cake of a lot of things that I won't bore you with.

We have 3 children under 5, unmarried, joint mortgage.

I paid more for deposit than him, however I know this doesn't count for anything.

Police were called last night as he will not leave. Police gave me a finding freedom leaflet, they could see right through him.

I have made discreet enquiries with mortgage broker and they can lend me £20k but ex says he wants more to be bought out. He hasn't paid the mortgage in a year.

He is sitting in the house, talking horribly to my children about me, ringing the police telling lies about me whilst winking at me.

He has spread mud all over the carpets. He waits until the children are sleeping then wakes them up telling them to play. I am exhausted, distraught and broken.

I just want him gone

I don't really know what I am asking or looking for. Similar situations maybe? My solicitor said I should stay with family which I am doing tonight. They also mentioned a non molestation order but not sure how long these take

Could you start over elsewhere?

It's just a house ultimately. I'd leave with my kids. Fuck it let him have it.

Rent a nice little place that he never had access too.

Also, assuming you could just sell the house anyway? Do that.

Not exactly the same situation but a non-molestation order is probably your best bet here. He's certainly being abusive to your children (and I assume to you too). If he is abusive to the point of being prosecuted then you can apply for a restraining order which is generally quick and quite straightforward.

And video his dodgy behaviour.

Does he still have a key? As you are joint mortgage holders he does have a legal right to access the house - but obvs his behaviour is unacceptable. Can you change the locks to stop him getting in? This the immediate issue.
In terms of finance - unfortunately the amount of money needed to buy him out of the house is not based on the amount you can afford borrow. If the house has grown in value since you bought it you may find you can't afford to buy him out. It doesn't make a lot of difference that he hasn't paid the mortgage his name will still be on it - and on the deeds.
What has your solicitor told you about buying him out?

what an utter cunt

I would speak to a solicitor. selling a house in this market may mean you lose money. but that might be less important than your sanity. film him. speak to your solicitor. you will get a decent amount especially as he hasnt paid in a year.

ps if you are not married then definitely you paying a larger share of the deposit will mean you will get more. if married, all assets will be sold 50/50. with this kind of behaviour, you will hopefully get a non molestation order.

First write down everything you can remember he's done with dates.

Then contact Womens Aid. Be persistent until you get through.

Keep collecting evidence so continue to make a note of his behaviour including:

• If he damages something or drags in mud again when there is a doormat, take photos on your phone.
• If any of your children are at nursery or with a childminder find out how they are the day he keeps them up at night, and see if you can get an email or something in writing of that child's change in behaviour.

You need to get a non-molestation order and an occupational order. The latter means he either can't live in the house at all or can only use certain rooms at certain times.

Then sort out buying him out of the house.

As joint mortgage holder he is entitled to live in the house. BUT his behaviour is abusive - get advice from Women’s Aid re non-mol order. Look into how you can buy him out (your larger deposit and his non-payment of mortgage DOES count for something here). Talk to a solicitor. Good luck

Id start by having the house valued and determining the equity. He
will be entitled to half of that if you own the house 50/50. Is the 20k you have offered realistic? He sounds like a right w*** , you need a good solicitor.

Tell him to buy you out instead. Arsehole.

I can’t offer anything helpful as I haven’t been in this situation but he sounds like a complete dickhead. If you ever do pay him any amount of money, especially if it’s 50k, please pay it all in 1ps and 2ps 💜

hope things get better for you OP

F

Have a read of this then contact the police who came out and ask them to refer you. You can get an injunction within 24 hrs. It’s a new service so the police might not be aware of it yet.
https://www.ncdv.org.uk/

Tell him ‘it’s unlikely to be 50k, but let’s do things properly and get the house valued by 3 agents this week. We’ll put house on market in the New Year. I’ll take out my deposit, you take out yours and the equity shall be split 50/50.

Presumably he’s turned in to a massive ass hole all of a sudden if you’ve got 3 kids under 5? Unless something is done about the abuse he’s going to be in your life forever, the money and house are just the practical side of things. Giving him 50k won’t solve much. He’ll still be in the kids lives.

NCDV can help you apply for a non-molestation order and occupational order to get him out the house.
Hope you get it sorted he sounds like a nightmare. X

This. I think this is domestic abuse. It will get him out of the house.

Sorry but this is nonsense. Unless the deposit split was recorded using a deed of trust OP will find it much harder to get more than 50/50.

And be prepared to be ruthless with a man like this. Any sort of weakness and he will make your life hell.

Report this to social services and your children's school safeguarding team. You need to both protect your children and let it be seen that you are.

If the house is joint tenants in common, then unless a split is specified, it has to be sold and equally divided.

A non-mol alone won't get him out of the house.

Coupled with an occupational order it more likely to.

However it is hard to get non-mol so the OP needs help in getting one and needs to collect as much evidence as possible that he is targeting the kids.

This means she can put the kids names on the Order and should hopefully help prevent him running off with them.

Why do you think your deposit doesn’t count for anything?

I absolutely would not walk away and give him the house!

Get a non-mol order. Tell the police and solicitor how he is behaving.

Also maybe ask Women’s Aid for advice

Yes if it is joint tenants.
Not if Tenants in Common.

Absolutely not - if you are unmarried then the split of the house depends on how you established ownership when you bought. The standard is usually 50/50 unless you protected your bigger contribution of the deposit. Only within marriage might the resident parent argue for a bigger share of the matrimonial assets when divorcing.

It's a long road to get him to sell the house (you can't force him to leave unless with non-mol or other order) but it can be sold, and both of you will need to set up elsewhere.

What's the split of the ownership op, and how much equity do you have?