Ex wont leave unless I give him £50k

[LexieAndSloaneTho]

Split with partner about 6 months ago. He was a gaslighter and had been lying and was just the icing on the cake of a lot of things that I won't bore you with.

We have 3 children under 5, unmarried, joint mortgage.

I paid more for deposit than him, however I know this doesn't count for anything.

Police were called last night as he will not leave. Police gave me a finding freedom leaflet, they could see right through him.

I have made discreet enquiries with mortgage broker and they can lend me £20k but ex says he wants more to be bought out. He hasn't paid the mortgage in a year.

He is sitting in the house, talking horribly to my children about me, ringing the police telling lies about me whilst winking at me.

He has spread mud all over the carpets. He waits until the children are sleeping then wakes them up telling them to play. I am exhausted, distraught and broken.

I just want him gone

I don't really know what I am asking or looking for. Similar situations maybe? My solicitor said I should stay with family which I am doing tonight. They also mentioned a non molestation order but not sure how long these take

Get some estate ageent valuations. Then go and see a solicitor about how the house should be split.
Then sell it.
With three children under 5 you will be on a high priority for social housing, but may need to go into temporary accommodation for a while.

If his fair and legal share is over £20k, and you can't afford more than £20k to buy him out, then the house will have to be sold. But you won't know until you find out.

See a solicitor, OP.

I will respond properly later.

I don't want the house to sell, I've worked so hard on making it my home.

Me and the kids are at my muns at the moment

How much equity is in the house approximately?

Well done for taking steps to keep you and your children safe. You're doing great.

As a next step, I think you should evidence the abuse, as PP advised. Write down everything you can remember, dates and times (exact or approximate) if you can. Then you need to report to the authorities; preferably to the police but if you can't face that, contact your local Women's Aid or equivalent - see https://www.womensaid.org.uk/womens-aid-directory/
They should be able to give you helpful advice, too, and might be able to signpost you to local solicitors with experience in abuse.

As PPs have said, you can contact NCDV for help to get a non-molestation order and occupation order, but to get the orders you will need evidence of abuse, so you need to report too.

Is the house owned as joint tenants or as tenants in common? Did you get any kind of deed of trust when buying it? Check the paperwork you have. Get records of mortgage payments - mortgage statements and your bank statements showing payments you've made. Talk to a solicitor to see if you can recoup any of it or if it would just be 50/50.

This guide is detailed and helpful - there's an option to pay to download it at the top of the page, but if you just scroll down all the content is there to read for free:
https://www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/survival-guide-living-together-and-breaking

He is due a share however the house is owned

joint tenants = 50%
tenants in common = 50% unless held in unequal shares as stated in a trust

regardless of who’s paying the mortgage

My sisters husband wouldn't leave so she left with her three children. She's had to completely start again and left with hardly nothing but she couldn't bare to stay.

Not saying this is what you should do but that sounds unbearable. Sending you love

Sorry for the absence, it has been a crazy week.

After a word with my 6"4 father, he has suddenly decided that he will sign the house over to me as long as he doesn't have to pick up any fees for this, and has left his key.

I am hoping this is the end

Leaving doesn’t mean the end as joint mortgage, and if your father threatened him, that could be used later.

how much equity is in the house? Legally he is entitled to half, irrelevant if who paid what unless a deed of trust was drawn up.