Left today

[Gemaski]

Today I have left, with my two children.

Years we have been unhappy, he has cheated on multiple occasions comes and goes as he pleases. I feel scared in my own home even though he has only hit me once. Its more the shouting that scares me, the constant belittling

I said I was leaving this morning before he went to work and I have actually done it. I dont think he believed me when I said it.I'm at my parents with my children and they (11 and 9) are happy with my decision. I know it is the right thing but why am I plagued with guilt it's near christmas/his birthday/ I left and there is no food in the fridge.

I'm scared for tonight when he realises I meant it. Please can I have moral support x

Well done, that is so brave of you. You have put you and your children first. Stay strong.

Well done for taking such a brave step op. It probably feels hellish atm but things will get so much better after a year or so. Can your parents help you out financially until you get back on your feet?

Well done you that must have taken a lot of courage to do. And you have done the right thing, we only have a short life and you and your children need to be happy. Just take each day as it comes, you deserve to be treated with respect and to live a happy life. The saying the only way is up is so true.

Wow-thanks for the quick response I really appreciate it. My parents are my biggest supporters and are happy for me to stay as long as I need to. I just feel so guilty and I don't know why!!

If you are concerned that he might come round to your parents house later threatening you or even just shouting and upsetting the children it might be worth leaving a message with the police on the non urgent line (is it 119?) so that if you have to call them they are aware of the situation and you should get priority.
Stop feeling guilty. This is his fault, not yours.
Best of luck to you and the children.

it’s inevitable after a time together and the sudden displacement of the kids. But you’re in a better place to start again. Stay strong and keep
your resolve. You’ve done this for a reason.

Unless you have a good income yourself, get yourself a benefits check on Turn2Us.

Well done. That's really brave. I hope you get support from your parents. Dont feel sorry for him. Don't worry about the empty fridge. He will not starve. You may end up going back. This might be the kick up the arse he needs. You haven't failed if you do go back.
Hopefully you're strong enough to stay away and rebuild your life. No one deserves to be treated like that.

It sounds like you did right for you and the kids and they know it. Only hit you once? THAT is 1X too many! Absolutely wishing you the best of luck and happiness in this difficult time!

Hi op well done don't feel guilty he didn't feel guilty belittling you and possibly upsetting your lovely children with his shouting well done and good luck

Thank you guys x

Well done on taking the first step op, that first step is the hardest. I'd suggest either blocking him , or turning your phone off for tonight, as you KNOW you'll get bombarded with abusive calls/ texts once he realises, and you don't have to take that anymore. Congratulations x x

Well done, you are really brave. Leaving is the hardest part and you've done it. I wish you good luck, we are here for you.

Well done for leaving and protecting yourself and your children from that abusive man. Now, whatever he does or says, you MUST hold your ground and stand by what you've done! He may have hot you just the once, but that is once too much and, as you say, the shouting and belittling are the worst. Women who suffer the most brutal physical abuse report that it's the emotional abuse that's even worse! Cuts and bruises heal but psychological trauma from living in fear takes such a long time and such a lot of emotional support to heal!
If you were to go back to him, it WOULD get even worse! He would take it as a sign you were weak and he has even more power over you and he would punish you for daring to leave him and take the children! It scares me to think of how hellish he would make your life and, worse still, how much damage it wold do to your defenceless children!
I'm so glad you have supportive parents. Do go all out to get as much support from elsewhere as well though- your GP, Women's Aid because he IS an abuser, legal advice and also let the police know what's happened, so if he were to turn up and kick off, they'd be there promptly!
Look after yourself and your children OP and please , never , ever go back to him!

Whatever you do, don't go back to him. No matter how much he love bombs you, he will never forgive or forget that you left him and your life would be hell.

Don't worry about him starving - this man has always put himself first.

Do you need to do anything to separate yourself financially? Is your name on the lease or mortgage? What about the electricity bill, council tax, water, internet etc?

Well donne for leaving. And it's so good your children are supportive, they have a great role model in you.
Keep strong 💪

You are a hero. It’s time to break the cycle, end all the abuse and send a clear message to your children about what a healthy relationship is and what isn’t acceptable. Try not to spend a minute worrying about him. That’s just a hangover from the conditioning of years of abuse and having to placate the abuser and ensure they are happy and their needs are met. Today might feel like a scary day but it is the making of you. Squeeze your parents and your children through the tough bits over the next few weeks, safe in the knowledge that it gets better. Also listen to rise up repeatedly to remind you how strong you are. You’ve got this 💪🏻

Well done OP but don't "feel sorry" for him If there is no food in the fridge then he'll have to get some all by himself which I'm sure a fully grown man is more than capable of doing. As for Christmas/birthday, do not give either of those another though wrt his feelings. Why on Earth should you and, more importantly, your children have to be miserable and scared just so he gets to have a good Christmas/birthday? From now on OP your DC's and your wants and needs come 1st....remember, his happiness is your misery.

Well done. So glad for you that you have the support of your parents. Your children must be so relieved. I can only imagine what you've been through. Despite some potentially arduous legal work ahead of you, that frightening & desperate part of your life is over for good.

Well done. Don't feel sorry for him. Focus on how Christmas will be special and peaceful.

So overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers. Thank you.

Well done you for following your words with action.
Quote in today's paper
"He who has begun has half done. Dare to be wise, begin."
OP stay wise. Accept and enjoy the love your parents have for you all.

Best decision ever! Just before Christmas too! Your parents and children will be thrilled that you can have a happy, peaceful and loving Christmas. You made this happen.

Massive well done, you sound lovely and deserve better than this. Reminds me of when I left and it was the best decision. You'll go through allsorts of emotions but you've done the best thing and your children are happy, please don't feel guilty. X

My cousin went home with her two after her crappy partner abandoned them after a row on holiday (He took off in the car with his eldest and just left them there). Moving back with my uncle and aunt has been a success because all the negative energy has gone. The kids are so much happier.

Good for you OP. I wish you well.