Hi everyone,
I have been with my boyfriend on and off for two years now. Hygiene and hand washing has frequently been an issue, with him doing things like refusing to wash his hands after using public toilets for a number 2. We spent a week in Blackpool together and fell out because of his lack of hand washing. I told him that he would make us sick one of these days. Then, about 5 months later, we went to Benidorm together for 2 weeks. He caught norovirus and then I caught it off him 2 days later and it ruined my holiday. I was bed-bound for over a week! I am 26 and prior to this experience, I had not had a proper tummy bug since I was 9-years-old.
Despite how unwell we were in Benidorm, he is still refusing to wash his hands. We were having a lovely time at a local pub when he came back to the table with unwashed hands. He tried lying about washing them before eventually fessing up! I told him to please go back and wash them. He refused and said going back in would make him look like a drug dealer?
And then on a different occasion we went to the cinema together. We were sat there enjoying hotdogs and sharing a bag of popcorn when he decided to touch the very bottom of his shoe while eating these finger foods. The film had just started. I told him to quickly go and wash his hands before continuing to share popcorn with me. He refused, before calling me obsessive in front of the audience. I ended up walking out.
After this incident, we went to our local pub together where he touched the bottom of his shoe again before trying to lie about it when I asked him to wash his hands because we were eating.
Then, we were in IKEA together yesterday. He was touching absolutely everything, and I mean everything. Every doorknob, every oven knob, every touchscreen. Literally everything he could see. Which is absolutely fine. But I asked him to wash his hands because we were about to head to the cinema to see the same film we were meant to see before and he had such a negative attitude and started raising his voice at me in IKEA. Apparently it wasn’t convenient because the toilet was on a different level and we were near the place cutlery might have been and he wanted to get cutlery for the house.
He reassures me he now washes his hands at work, but I am doubtful since he’s still telling me he wouldn’t have washed his hands if he was in IKEA alone.
I just think it’s selfish when we live together and I don’t think my hand washing expectations are particularly unreasonable. I don’t actually wash my hands after using the loo at home. I only wash them when handling rubbish or touching a bin (he won’t wash his hands after touching the bin that the rubbish man has just emptied either), when I’m about to chop veggies or handle meat/after handling raw meat, after touching a lift button, trolley or shop door before eating finger foods. That sort of thing. Oh and we also have a no shoes in the house rule. I’ve done my research and he’s been sent and read so many articles by now that I just don’t know what to do!! Have been trying to educate him on the importance of hand washing and he still doesn’t understand it. Someone help haha x