Think dp took the piss out of my job

[Slinking]

Today had a small argument with dp. I was on a work call so he couldn’t come into our bedroom (where my desk is) and was stressing as he had to go out. I hadn’t appreciated he would need to come in and he was annoyed about it after. Ofc I apologised.

I said that he could have just knocked and come in, and he replied “well I know how important your work calls are. It’s high stakes stuff isn’t it.”

im a lawyer (so it’s fairly technical) and a generally anxious / over analytical person (analyse my calls to the nth degree…) but thought this was a bit of a saracastic, low blow comment.

he’s denied he meant it like that but I’m struggling a bit, I feel like he doesn’t respect me? I’m also having a hard time at work in general atm and thinking of leaving so not sure I’m seeing things rationally.

can anyone help?

What does he do?

Was he being sarcastic? I am not understanding what the dig was.

Can you just agree with him - it is important, it is high stakes. You betcha.

He works in a corporate role as well but slightly different. Business services / marketing

He was frustrated by the situation, ultimately respected your boundary by not coming in, and expressed his annoyance in a confusing way. If anything he was implying that you don't respect his needs, possibly because you think your job is more important than whatever he's got going on.

Well you’re a lawyer so it is a well respected and regarded profession. His comment doesn’t really make sense to me. You could ask if he meant anything by it as you thought it undermined the importance of your job? If he says he didn’t mean anything I’d leave it, as it was possibly a throw away remark due to him being annoyed about room access.
what would he consider high stakes ffs?!! 🙄😂

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale probably true. I definitely don’t think my job is important, I just get stressed and anxious. I have apologised to him

You're working in his bedroom, he's not living in your office.

It probably was a dig, but honestly, it's bloody inconvenient.

Ok @MrsTerryPratchett he is living in my house though so genuinely not sure where else I am supposed to work!

Living in your house as a partner, or staying there as a boyfriend?

So you do 'do high stakes stuff', then? And he didn't disturb your meeting because of that, even though it was inconvenient for him?

I'm failing to see any pisstaking here. Snark, possibly, if the tone was off, plain grumpiness and frustration maybe - or simply explaining why he didn't disturb your important meeting that could have led to you stressing over how you came across to have him looking for his socks/whatever, but no pisstaking at all.

'our' bedroom or 'your' bedroom?

Was the conversation confidential? That's what I would assume he meant (as in, it wasn't)

I said that he could have just knocked and come in, and he replied “well I know how important your work calls are. It’s high stakes stuff isn’t it.”

Only you know the tone of voice that he said it in. But reading it as text on a screen it seems perfectly genuine to me.

I presume that being a lawyer IS high stakes. I wouldn't have disturbed you for that reason.

I would consider a lawyer on a work call to be potentially high stakes stuff!

It sounds to me like it was meant genuinely.

Just curious, but you have a house and the only place you can work is your bedroom? That work environment alone would exacerbate your stress and anxiety.

Don’t take it so seriously.

DH and I are both senior lawyers and we often poke fun at each other about how terribly busy and important we are. It’s healthy not to believe the hype. Maybe he thinks you’re generally a bit puffed up / serious rather than it being directly related to the inconvenience of not being able to access his stuff?

Most calls are interesting but within our comfort zone. There’s the odd hearing, pitch or presentation which is much more critical but unless it fell into that category it’s just another bit of the day job.

I think you’re being OTT.

He was cross that he couldn’t access his bedroom. That’s all.

I would let it slide. He was a bit annoyed that you were hogging the bedroom and made a bit of a sarcastic comment. I remember when dh was working from home fulltime in lockdown saying something similar. I was just pissed off that the whole house had to revolve around his work. People aren't perfect sometimes they get snarky.

Was he being sarcastic or just trying to be funny. I wfh and often my dh will come in and make similar comments, such as me keeping the wheels of industry turning etc. but I know held just taking the piss (in a nice way) as I do similar to him .

I don't know any lawyers who have to work on a desk in their bedroom. Are you newly qualified or something and have lots of debt?

I would assume he meant it genuinely depending on what kind if lawyer you are. Divorce/Family lawyer is high stakes for your client as it can change their life forever. A corporate lawyer could be discussing vast sums of monies for a company. A criminal lawyer.... yeah, I would also assume you would need privacy due to delicate/secrecy of the information.

Get a notepad and agree to leave it on the landing/next to kettle for any extra communications. Or was he wanting a change of clothes but couldn't because you had hogged the bedroom?

WTAF?

Maybe OP is in a small but very expensive flat in London. Or maybe she just isn't a highly paid corporate lawyer.

Good grief.

That doesn’t sound like such a bad comment to me tbh.

@saraclara @CurlyhairedAssassin lol!

The former!

Couldn't he just send you a short message that you could read while you were talking to others?