Think dp took the piss out of my job

[Slinking]

Today had a small argument with dp. I was on a work call so he couldn’t come into our bedroom (where my desk is) and was stressing as he had to go out. I hadn’t appreciated he would need to come in and he was annoyed about it after. Ofc I apologised.

I said that he could have just knocked and come in, and he replied “well I know how important your work calls are. It’s high stakes stuff isn’t it.”

im a lawyer (so it’s fairly technical) and a generally anxious / over analytical person (analyse my calls to the nth degree…) but thought this was a bit of a saracastic, low blow comment.

he’s denied he meant it like that but I’m struggling a bit, I feel like he doesn’t respect me? I’m also having a hard time at work in general atm and thinking of leaving so not sure I’m seeing things rationally.

can anyone help?

You are massively over thinking this. Your job should not define you. It’s a means to an end. It provides money so you can live your hopefully very fulfilled life. Let it go :)

If he's living in your house I hope he's paying towards bills and food, if not you can kick him out.

With your own description of how you analyse work calls to the nth degree, I'm wondering if it's a snarky comment from him because you make a big deal about your calls. Maybe not the nicest thing to do but not that big a deal.

Sorry, what? Have you posted on the wrong thread, or are you just making up a scenario in your head?

What an incredibly judgemental thing to post.

Oh I’m not sure about the whole he’s living in my house, that makes it clear you don’t see it as his home. It’s yours. And your reaction to a dig is so over the top. I’d be very uncomfortable with you.

Is this a straw that broke the camels back type comment?

It could be sarcastic or totally innocuous, but it feels like there’s more to this. Are there other issues at play here?

To be honest, unless you have a room dedicated to office work (a study or something) there are always going to be access problems whether you work in the bedroom/kitchen/lounge. I suppose the only way is to say to him "I am going to be on the phone for about half hour, can you take what you need out of here before that please?"

could you warn him you’re going on a scheduled call in case he needs to grab something? Or close the door when it’s a call that absolutely can’t be disturbed and leave it open when it would be ok for him to come in. Set a background on your video so it doesn’t matter if he has to dash in because nobody will see him.

I wouldn’t take it as sarcastic though it’s just inconvenient for him and annoying.

Both my daughters are City lawyers. Both work at a desk in a bedroom two days a week.

Small is correct, this was a miniscule interaction. I can't understand 1) why you have your desk in your bedroom when you mention living in a house, so presumably have other more appropriate room options. 2) why either of you would have a problem with him nipping in to get perhaps a needed item of clothing before going out - maybe if a video call? 3) why you're bothering to post about such a tiny thing anyway?
Which shows its the stress you're feeling, so look for a better job. I'm sure you're both bright enough to sort out a better wfh situation. There is much written about negative effects of having a desk in your bedroom, that could be why you're so highly strung too.
Sort your wfh environment out, and consider other job options.

This is a tough one OP, where you'll have to trust your own judgment about your own relationship.You're probably posting on here as you don't want to be unfair, and misinterpret good intentions.

I hope this sort of thing is not happening regularly - relationships shouldn't be confusing and you shouldn't be regularly presented with comments that make you question the intentions.

Do you think he's resentful of your job? Do you earn more than he does and could he be resentful of that? Does he feel neglected for some reason, like do you work a lot of overtime and is that a point of contention in your relationship?

and a generally anxious / over analytical person (analyse my calls to the nth degree…)

It sounds more like he was taking the piss about that rather than taking the piss out of your job!

Or else he was saying that you put your job before his needs.

Sounds like he was mardy and taking the piss to me...begging, with his vitally important marketing job 🙄