Does the truth come out when your drunk?

[Lostsoul2023]

Just that really?

my ex who is married whom i have met out very occasionally, mentioning words like fancying me, us having a connection, declaring that he used to love me one time in front of the locals in a pub on a night out etc (we never went out together just kissed a few times when younger) but at the same time has never initiated any contact with me on phone or whatever which is obviously a no brainer. Just friends on FB. We kissed last xmas eve which was a mistake after him ultimately persuing me no end on the night in question but he seemed all for meeting up again (no swapping numbers) both of us gone cold with no contact about same because we are both married. Im not gonna lie I would like to discuss what happened to kinda have closure as he lives over road from my homeplace and I know we will meet again at some point casually.

How does it get to this point? Is it purely drink. If you are sober and carry on how come everything seems like a lie then really?

Not in my experience

Often, it lowers inhibitions. Doesn’t stop people lying as it also makes then randy. You are not single, why do you care?

He was drunk. Because of this It seemed like a good idea at the time to chase you so he could kiss you. He had no intentions of meeting up with you. It's just what some people do when they are drunk. You are reading far too much into it. No closure needed.

You're both married. You kissed, betraying your spouses, you both recognise this is wrong and have gone non contact, yet you wish to 'discuss this' and bring closure. Leave him alone, there is nothing to discuss other than it was a horrible mistake? unless of course, you are hoping there is more to it and you might consider a relationship with him? the only closure you need is to look at your marriage certificate again and remind yourself you are married.

The unbelievable mental gymnastics people do to convince themselves their actions are totally honourable when actually it is so obvious they secretly loving the attention.

It's a myth that the truth comes out when someone is drunk.
What really happens is that their brain becomes foggy, they cannot think or see clearly, that's why beer goggles are definitely a thing!

I think people are very selective with how they answer this question, so if you say it was an ex you get told no truth doesn’t come out when drunk but if you was single and it was a new guy confessing feelings you would be told yep it’s true truth comes out when someone is drunk, just seems when you mention it’s an ex people insist it’s a myth 😌

Yes, of course - it lowers inhibitions so your feelings come out. The "truth" here is that there's an attraction between the two of you which you feel able to express when drunk , but which he knows cannot fit into your real everyday lives. There isn't really very much else to say, unless you want it to escalate (which it would, even if the "talk" is officially about closure).

It's not like a truth telling potion, but it does loosen the tongue and lower inhibitions, so you might let certain truths slip out that you usually wouldn't. People can still lie to get what they want though, whether they're drunk or not.

You are married to the love of your life, I assume.
He is married to the love of his life, I assume.

No need for closure with him. Spend time with your spouse instead.

(Say Hello if you would happen to meet him. No need for anything else).

It's you're not your (sorry.) I think it does in a way. It lowers inhibitions and it's easy to just say what's on your mind.

No. I don’t drink anymore but when I used to, I’d think it a good idea to tell bizarre lies and when I was sober I’d be like er no idea why I told you that nonsense

Dated a guy once who used to tell me total lies when he was drunk

No. Alcohol is not a truth drug. It causes muddled thinking and silly reactions.

Why on earth are you thinking about a married man you kissed once almost a year ago? Is your relationship dead in the water? Is his? Don't go looking for an affair, it's so sleazy and undignified.

Who knows what's going on in his befuddled mind.
If you want closure, you could always try closing the door on him. Tell him you're not interested and don't find it flattering or pleasant to have a man going round telling everyone he fancies you and has a connection to you, when you're married and regret that one time you drunkenly snogged him.
Then work on your marriage, or get divorced, or whatever it is that's making you desperate for any signs of interest, even from someone who's pissed and sounds totally dodgy.

Often yes

Yes and no.
I think small feelings and emotions can be built up to something significant when a person is drunk.

So in arguments a minor annoyance or flaw someone has seen in a partner or friend etc can be blown up to be a huge issue and used to attack a person but really the person who said it doesn't think it's a major issue at all and rarely think about it.

Likewise with things like this, a little crush or soft spot can feel heightened and be built up when drunk to think it's love or something really significant but when sober it's rarely thought about at all.

Or I think people can sometimes men can say those things because they think it's what a woman wants to hear so he can get her into bed.

I'd say not really. I've sprouted some shit when drunk, kissed some guys I'd never normally touch with a barge pole.
But also, if something is on my mind it can be blown up to huge proportions and became something that I just cannot contain.
I've done some unbelievable shit when drunk, said some awful things but in reality I'm actually very caring, hate upsetting anyone and worry for days if I have. My drink issues are due to low self-esteem.

You're being naive at best. Do you really believe you need to meet up to talk it through? Stop being so disrespectful to your DH.
You shouldn't do anything with another man you wouldn't want DH to witness. Either leave him or give him the truth of what you've up to, his wife too. See how keen he is on you then.

I agree with this. I once told a colleague on a night out that I thought she was fantastic, I really admired her, she was so good at her job blah blah. Truth is I hated working with her and she was actually rubbish at her job.

Drunk people talk shit.

@SkaneTos clearly not married to love of their lives when they've both cheated and OP is still thinking about it.

Drunk people talk shit.

This.

I talk utter crap after a few drinks. Utter, utter crap!

Sometimes does, sometimes doesn’t. I’ve had issues with alcohol and on the rare occasions I’ve had a conversation while drunk it’ll either be something I actually think like telling my abusive mother she’s abusive, which I normally wouldn’t do, which is in vino veritas, but sometimes I’ll say something like “I’m going to a disco on Thursday” which is… just not true and completely irrelevant. It’s been even worse, I’ve said things like “purple pigs flew into the sun”.

I talk absolute bollocks when drinking and I believe every word of it at the time.

I wonder if there is something lacking in your marriage for you to be giving this any headspace at all.

A man you kissed a few times, years ago, spouted some nonsense when he was drunk. Move on. It's meaningless.

Either he's talking total rubbish, or there's a hint of truth in there. Even if it's the latter - what difference would it make to your life?

.... and would you be fine if your DH was giving this much thought to another woman?