Would you let your parents live with you

[Bobertblaine1987]

So my folks got a 60 day notice. Ends rite after xmas. Currently I'm trying to fix things with my wife. I lived with my folks till I was 28 because my moms a bit...immature and my step dad couldn't hold a job so I stayed till I got married to help mom cause she was always dependent on help financially. Well here we are and they havnt found a room to rent yet so another 5 weeks. I'm hoping they find a place because I have a 2 bedroom with 3 kids. 2 of I see every other week. Mom asked the other day if she cant find a place then if she could stay at mine for a bit n give me rent. I said sure but you arnt paying rent cuz itll take u longer to get a place. Problem is I havnt told my wife yet cuz I'm trying to fix things. We been separated but cuz she couldn't afford motels after a year, she came back n sleeps in the livingroom, her choice not mine. So I'm trying to fix things n I'm afraid this will cause a big problem. Seems that when something big happens in my life and kinda important something happens with my parents n things fall apart. When it comes to a week till I plan on telling her but I'm doing the rite thing, rite? I looked forward to leaving and starting my own family away from the rest of my family but I dont want my folks staying so long they get comfortable.

Not a chance.

No

Nope.

As a side note, does your wife want to fix things with you?

I wouldn’t see them on the streets homeless so depends how desperate the situation is?

No way should you have your parents live with you. It’s not your doing that they are the ways they are so stop with trying to fix things for them or for anyone else. You are only responsible for your own self ultimately.

Where would they even sleep?

If my parents were in a tricky situation and I had the room, then yes of course I'd let them stay short term.

But you don't have the room, in fact it seems like your house is already overcrowded just with your immediate family.

Yes, I absolutely would. I am going to be alone on this thread, probably.

I would want to help my parents but would discuss with who I live with before I made any final decision.

Once they get in your house you will never get rid of them and it will ruin any chances of reconciliation with your wife.

Don't do it, they are old enough to look after themselves.

Absolutely 💯 hard no from me

I would be madly searching for somewhere for them to live.
It's understandable you wouldn't want to see your mum on the streets but you don't have space and you need to work on your relationship.

You could contact the local council, estate agents, housing associations, ask around, basically everything and anything to get your mum somewhere to live.

Not my mum, shes a nightmare, demanding, attention seeking misogynist, never lets me sit ,setting me on, then said you never sit down lol.. moans constantly...shes 1 massive negative. Personality disorder.
In your situation id say no. Your parents won't leave. You are taking on too much. You can say youve thought about it and that decision no longer stands (believe me that she wont b looking for other accommodation because she thinks shes coming to yours).

Depends on the circumstances.
Do you get on well with them?On
Are they actively trying to find accommodation?
What are the reasons for them losing their accommodation?

I doubt that there would be any chance to work on and salvage your relationship if you let them come.

Plus, would you actually ever get them out again? Your place sounds pretty crowded as it is, so where would they even sleep?

It would be a hard no from me. It isn't even remotely practical.

No, sadly not an option to consider as my mum is such that my stairs are not something she is confident enough to climb.

Yes. My kids moved back during lockdown with their partners. We all got along famously. There were five adults and three kids for about six weeks.

My parents are both dead but I'd never have seen them homeless. My MiL is lovely to me and even though she's over 80 and now needs a cleaner coming in 3 times a week and has her hot lunches delivered each day I'd not see her on the streets homeless. I'd offer her a home as long as she needed it even though I'd probably end up becoming her carer which I don't really want to do.

Hard no from me. I have spent half my life sorting other people's problems out, it drained me of energy, time, money. The more you help people the more useless they get because it is easier for them to lean on you. They also never learn the consequences of their actions because you cushion them from it. 2 adults who are that useless will be with you for life, time they learned to stand on their own, like grown ups. Your poor children will have no privacy or personal space, just NO.
You know your wife will hit the roof, is your parents financial dependence on you a contributing factor in your wife leaving. No space, no privacy, no intimacy. I mostly feel sorry for your kids, they will not thank you for it. If you rent your landlord may have a limit to the level of occupancy.

You said yes without talking to your wife?

No. Never.

Dear God, no! I would support as much as I could but would refuse to let them live with us. It would me a nightmare!

It’s not just about your sofa sleeping wife. It will also have an impact on your children. Go to the Councils homelessness prevention team

I'd let my parents live with me and I'd let my in laws live with me. But in your shoes I would not let my parents or my ex wife live with me.

Absolutely no. They'd never leave.

No way.
You’re overcrowded as it is.
It would be a nightmare.