Would you let your parents live with you

[Bobertblaine1987]

So my folks got a 60 day notice. Ends rite after xmas. Currently I'm trying to fix things with my wife. I lived with my folks till I was 28 because my moms a bit...immature and my step dad couldn't hold a job so I stayed till I got married to help mom cause she was always dependent on help financially. Well here we are and they havnt found a room to rent yet so another 5 weeks. I'm hoping they find a place because I have a 2 bedroom with 3 kids. 2 of I see every other week. Mom asked the other day if she cant find a place then if she could stay at mine for a bit n give me rent. I said sure but you arnt paying rent cuz itll take u longer to get a place. Problem is I havnt told my wife yet cuz I'm trying to fix things. We been separated but cuz she couldn't afford motels after a year, she came back n sleeps in the livingroom, her choice not mine. So I'm trying to fix things n I'm afraid this will cause a big problem. Seems that when something big happens in my life and kinda important something happens with my parents n things fall apart. When it comes to a week till I plan on telling her but I'm doing the rite thing, rite? I looked forward to leaving and starting my own family away from the rest of my family but I dont want my folks staying so long they get comfortable.

Your parents will never leave if you let them
In. And also your wife will leave you if you keep hiding things from her. You are meant to believe a team.

Christ, no! One of us would murder the other within a week. 🙁

OP, your parents are grown ups and need to deal with this themselves. It's not your problem.

If you want your marriage to survive (and your relationships with your kids), you have to say no.

If your parents are evicted and made involuntarily homeless, the LA has to provide them with a roof, albeit probably not an ideal one. If they leave voluntarily to live with you, the LA is obliged to do nothing. Therefore absolutely no notwithstanding the fact that you don't have room for them.

If my mother cannot in time live in her own home, my inheritance will pay for her care. It will be worthless to me if I am locked up in Holloway and if we were to live together one of us would end up in Holloway.

Where would they sleep? Is your wife the mother of your children? Do you really think moving your parents in without telling your wife will help you reconcile cos I highly doubt it?

By the way OP, if you have three dcs and a wife, you already have a family. Why don't you focus on them? That might be a good move.

Yes, but she’s a completely normal humanbeing

Of course I'd help my parents by letting them stay. I'd also welcome my DH's parents. We all get along well. Quite a rare thing on mumsnet.

Is this in the UK or US? Because your post reads like an American to me. In which case advice from anyone here about who to contact next would be a bit pointless.

If they see your place as a viable backup plan, could it be that they're turning down rentals that if they were really desperate, they would otherwise accept?

Say no to your parents, discuss it with your wife, and then if they hit the deadline and are out on the streets, take them in but with an agreement it is incredibly short term and that they must move out within the month.

Don't make them think you are their backup plan or it will be a self fulfilling prophecy.

Does your step dad have a job now. I would say no too.

No. Your house is waaayy over full as it is. They cannot stay at yours. There literally is no room at the inn. Help them by looking into options and perhaps a temporary lock up to store items for them but come 6 weeks when they get evicted, they need to present themselves to the council as homeless