An old ex from several years ago, since married, gets in touch every few months on a withheld number. The conversations usually go the same way. After catching up a bit (although he is always very cryptic and doesn’t actually share much), he will sound down and say that he really needs to see me but won’t tell me what’s wrong. I will usually end the conversation by telling him to text me with a few dates and he will agree. The texts never come. Other times he asks me to email him which I never do because I sense his wife doesn’t know he’s contacting me and I’m not interested in anything other than an above board friendship. He’s got me blocked on all SM.
The last time he called, he told me he was having urgent cancer investigations as he was showing some very concerning symptoms. We ended the call with him telling me he would let me know how it goes. Since then, radio silence and this is the longest I’ve not heard from him.
I was already feeling annoyed with the pointless phone calls but this feels really unkind to leave me hanging with this sort of news. I had already planned to ask him to stop calling as I get nothing from the calls but it didn’t feel right to say it the last time we spoke considering how upset he seemed. Now I feel in limbo not knowing if he’s ok. It’s clear he’s not offering anything resembling friendship and I’d rather not have any further contact but I still care about his wellbeing. I could email him but I’m wary of encouraging him further.
The alternative is to accept that I will never know but it bothers me that this has been left so open ended. WWYD?