How do you manage your time/house chores whilst working full time? Any tips?

[Memyself212]

So I work full time but it's more of a hybrid job which requires me travelling 2-3 days a week and 2 days working from home. I am newly married and love spending time with my husband especially my evenings and weekends. However, I still cannot get my time management sorted in terms of domestic house chores cooking, cleaning and mainly the ironing etc. Any tips?

Do you guys wake up early to get these things done e.g. cooking before work or what? Please give me some advice.

I want to continue working after having a baby too and me and my husband are thinking about childcare but I am still conscious how to manage my time and 'have it all' really. I need to get my time management 'locked in' before I have a baby.

I really love working so please dont say to leave my job. My husband helps me around too around the house but like I said I cant get my time management sorted.

Maybe its the newly wedding feeling :)

Cooking - get home and cook tea. If kids and busy - get home and cook really quick low effort tea, or at most pre-make some of it the night before.
Cleaning - two full time people, if you can afford it get a cleaner.
Ironing - I never have, I’m crumpled. DH irons his own shirts when needed.
Tidy up as we go.
Both of us equally likely to cook weekday dinners. I do more at weekends cos it’s basically my hobby but DH does plenty too and all of the shopping.

You can spend time together cooking etc and sorting things out in the house.

It's over 40 years since I was newly married but I used to all my cleaning and washing on Saturday mornings while my husband worked overtime. Whoever was home first in the evening started tea, did shopping on a Friday night together. Meal planning helped too

I wfh and supper either goes in the slow cooker at 1pm or it's something that I can cook quickly.
Kitchen cleaning is done every evening after supper. Hovering/bathrooms early morning at weekends.
Washing goes in machine in the evening as needed, runs overnight and out on the line next morning.

But I'm a single mum, I don't have to worry about making time for a dh. Makes life easier 😀

My husband helps me around too around the house but like I said I cant get my time management sorted.

It's not "helping" - half the housework is his responsibility.

Of course you shouldn't leave your job to do more housework, I don't know who would recommend that apart from some 1950s stereotype.

You should discuss what needs doing with your husband and divide it up by preference or straight down the line half and half.

You'd be daft not to, if you intend having children. Get the 50/50 split going now, and continue it.

As for ironing, etc, he does his, you do yours.

The domestic chores aren’t just your responsibility. Your husband should be taking 50% of the load, he’s not ‘helping you’ he’s there to get stuck in too! If you carve up an agreement with him on who does what and when, you’ll both have time to spend with each other as you please.

I don't iron, ever. Husband does the odd shirt
We have a cleaner 3 hours a week
Dinner we keep things quick and easy or heat up leftovers
Washing goes straight in the machine each morning and turned on, one of us sticks it in the dryer or on the airer during the day or when we get back from work. Every few days we do some folding and putting away
Your husband should be doing half, he isn't 'helping you'. It's his job too

You need to get this sorted as soon as possible - it sets the tone of the relationship going forwards. By the sounds of it you both work full time and therefore half the household tasks belong to your husband. By doing them, he isnt 'helping you' and you shouldnt be grateful. He's an adult, living in the home he needs to step up. See how your time management improves then

I don't know anyone that routinely irons anymore. DH cooks a few nights a week and covers some school pick ups. I use rock the housework app to blast through cleaning. Just prioritise and do what you can.

You need to stop thinking of it as your responsibility with your husband just 'helping'. It's an attitude that especially needs to be stamped out if you are thinking about having children together.

Aside from that, think about things that will save time such as meal planning, batch cooking etc and reconsider what actually needs ironing if anything at all. If it is just DH's work shirts then he needs to do it himself.

Read Fair Play together.

Firstly, HE IS NOT HELPING!!* *he is doing his fair share. you need to make some serious changes to the division of tasks, particularly if you would like children. In a 2 adult household (which I am in), there's really not that much to do? A couple of loads of laundry at the weekend, and clean the house together takes an hour or so. Take turns to cook, keep it simple, plus washing up - what else is there to do?!

Read Wife Work now! Then get a cleaner. I love my cleaner with all my heart 😆

You definitely need to stop thinking of your husband as 'helping', especially if you're planning children - divide up areas of responsibilty, so, some things are his jobs and others are always yours.

In terms of food and time management, we food plan and batch cook and it definitely helps. A slow cooker is your friend.

DH doesn’t “help” - he does 50% same with anything to do with the DC’s.

Why is it a time management issue for you - you both live there. DH goes online to order weekly shop, plans and cooks meals. You clean the bathroom each day and put the washing in the machine/tumble dryer. Both clean the house. If it needs doing one of you does it.

I just hoover and tidy up as and when. I still don’t understand what people mean about deep cleaning!

It starts with doing it 50/50 (a real 50/50!!!) and finding a way to do all that TOGETHER (as your DH is going to do half of it).

It shouldn’t be you getting more organised but BOTH OF YOU finding a rhythm that works.
If things go by the way side, it’s not you failing. It’s the system you BOTH set up that doesn’t work.

What has worked for me? A clear division of tasks.
eg I did the weekly shop. He did the ironing etc…
Then up to each of us to find the best way to do it.
I never did ‘his’ jobs either (mainly because as soon as I did that, he stopped doing it at all. He had to fail again and again and dealt with the consequences for things to sink in)

I have a friend who sits down every Sunday with her DH and goes through all the things that needs to be done that week.
Each of them, dcs included, get stuff to do. 50/50 between her and her DH.
Then they review the following week and set the new tasks.

I lower my standards. We share the chores, but we don't really do any housework except at the weekend. We leave for work at 7:30 a.m. and get back at 6p.m. Mon-Fri, and I often bring work home too. I refuse to do housework on weekday evenings as well. If it means my house gets a bit grotty by Saturday, so be it.

Yes dont say “helping”! Start as you mean to go on it has to be 50/50 these days

Wake up at 6am, sweep, clean surfaces, wash clothes, mop etc. prepare food. Do little tidied through the day.

Getting up at 6.00am to clean is just crazy sorry.

Surely you coped before you were married, what’s changed?

I have a very steady routine personally

-Up at 6:30 kids up and dressed, all out the door and dropped at childminders for 8am (she takes them school)
-Work in office 9-4
-Pick kids up at 5ish (traffic depending)
Home and help kids with homework/reading whilst dinner cooks
-30 mins to play games etc
-baths at 6:30
-stories and bed at 7:30
Then I get time to do washing, dishes, sort the pets and read my book or watch tv
I'm always in bed for 10:30pm latest

This is the only way I can manage everything and I also have my own hair business every other weekend when they go their dads for a night
Dating was impossible as I have zero social time but kids come first don't they 💖

Firstly if you both work equal hours there should be equal split of tasks, he is not ‘helping’ but more you are a team running a household together. Setting that expectation now will help you more once there are little ones to consider. You can agree responsibilities between you if there are certain duties that play to strengths or any that each of you might prefer to avoid, but it must be fair. Otherwise batch cooking and freezing, finding short cut 30 min prep/cook recipes for the weekdays, accepting convenience food is ok now and again within reason. Hang clothes up immediately after washing/drying rather than piling or folding to minimise ceasing and crumpling. Does anyone even iron anymore… I hardly ever do!! Plus I consider when shopping for clothes how easy something is to wash/care for as I know I’ll never wear it if too complicated!!

But most important is to be kinder to yourselves and lower expectation on how much is realistic, the frequency of some jobs and how clean everything really needs to be. Focus on whatever is a priority and DO NOT beat yourselves up, especially after you have children. The world will not end if there are a few dishes, the washing piles up or there is a bit of dust here and there. And accept any support that is offered from family members when the babies come. Good luck!!