How to get over being ghosted

[Sweetladyjane]

Just that really. I was in a serious relationship with someone for awhile and thought we were happy together but then he stopped replying to my messages and ghosted me. How do you get over it? I sent one last message saying that I deserve better and he opened it but didn’t respond.

How you go from telling someone you love them to nothing in the space of a day?

I’m just so hurt and confused. I had to leave work early today because I couldn’t stop crying.

Do I try to call him knowing that he probably won’t pick or do I keep my dignity and leave it at my last message?

How do you get through this?

He sounds a spineless waster to me. At least have the decency to tell you he’s not feeling it anymore- but just to ghost someone like that?? If you had carried, on the flaws in his character would have shown up sooner or later. It’s a horrible thing to have done to you but deep down you know you dodged a bullet and you’re worth better. Sending big hugs x

How awful, how long has it been since you last spoke? don't contact him you do deserve better, best to delete him and I hope for your sake he does stay gone but ignore him if he comes back. If you let him back you risk this behaviour all over again if he thinks he can come in and out.

You start by believing what you told him.

'I deserve better'

He's obviously a very disturbed individual if he can do this to anyone.

When did he ghost?
If block him incase he tries to come back with some bs story.

Often, abusive people when we arent dancing to their tune, try to punish us. Ghosting is one thing they might do. That way if they come back weeks later, we are more desperate to hold onto them as they've worked us up into this frenzy of hurt and worry. Its more likely that we'll tolerate bs from them too as we don't want them.to leave again.

So be aware, that might be his plan.

Or he may just be a dick who wanted to break up but was too cowardly and cold to do it the right way.

Either way, block him on everything.

There is no acceptable reason to ghost people.

Be kind to yourself.
You do deserve better.
Everyone does.

How long were you together? It's always spineless but if you haven't been dating long I'd think you believed in what was essentially an act. One they pull on a regularly basis and get some weird kick out of it, dating several women at a time.
Longer term I'd think they were a coward and rather than act like a decent human being they disappeared.

Don’t call or message him again. His lack of response so far is response enough and if you keep on trying to contact him then you’ll end up driving yourself crazy and looking crazy.
Even if he did eventually answer you’d never know the full truth of why he’s done this. He’ll either make some pathetic excuse which won’t satisfy your need for closure or he’ll say something, possibly the truth, and it’ll hurt more than not knowing.
As confusing as it is to just be left without any answers or explanation, try to see it as a good thing that you’ve not got a messy back and forth breakup with lots of horrid stuff said to each other. You can hold your head high and say that you know you deserve better than someone who treats others like that, and that you have kept your dignity. Block him, delete his number etc, don’t search him on social media.
And if he ever did try to get in contact then that’s your chance to just ghost him right back

If you think back on the relationship was it really even-handed? Was he really treating you properly? I think if you reflect on it carefully, you will be able to see red flags or problems that you didn't see before because you cared about him.

We've all been there and been ghosted. It's a horrible way to behave but at least you know the sort of person he is.

Spineless and cowardly thing to do.

A serious relationship? How long were you together then?

We were together just under 18 months which is why I’m so taken aback that he’s done this. I switch between being angry and just really really hurt.

So it’s been one day? And you haven’t even tried to call him?

OP, that’s dreadful. So sorry this has happened

Lol I'm assuming op didn't mean it had only been a day xD just that he tells her he loves her one day and vanishes the next and has been gone since.

I mean if its only been a day of not replying then...op needs some therapy lol.

People do this after an 18 month relationship?! OP I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Definitely don’t phone him or text him again. He saw your last text and didn’t reply. Block him on everything and find someone deserving of you.

@Sweetladyjane I was ghosted by my boyfriend of 4 and a half years. It was horrendous and I thought I'd never get over it but I did! Sending hugs x

How long is "for awhile" exactly?

And what do you mean "serious?" Did you two sit down and have a conversation about being a committed couple with a shared vision for the future, or did you assume it was serious because you had sex regularly?

This happened to a pal of mine, two years into what she thought was a serious relationship. Talks about moving in together, kids, marriage. Then one day -poof- he's gone. Absolute radio silence.

Turns out he was married with two kids and the wife had found out about my pal.

Sorry OP, whatever the reason it's an absolutely dog shit thing to do to someone. Heed your own words - you deserve better.

@Ariahh What?! Did you ever hear from him again or get an explanation? What a horrible bastard.

@LucyvanderPelt I never got an explanation but he did message me about 8 months later asking how I was!

@Ariahh i don’t even know what to say about that… Did you ever respond to that message. I can’t imagine how devastating that situation must have been for you. That last text from him would have left me enraged though.

You’ve dodged a bullet and you DO deserve better, it may not feel like that now but it will. Be kind to yourself, you’ve done nothing wrong. He’s in the wrong here not you.

@LucyvanderPelt I'm thoroughly embarrassed to admit that I did reply and we ended up dating again for 6 months. For him to ghost me again.

@Ariahh at least you are shot of him now. I hope you’ve recovered from that and you’re happy now. And that he’s not!

You block him then deleted him off everything so you can't have a moment of weakness and message him. I'm assuming you haven't heard from him days/almost a week?
You are right. You deserve so much better

@LucyvanderPelt Thank you, I'm much happier now