How to get over being ghosted

[Sweetladyjane]

Just that really. I was in a serious relationship with someone for awhile and thought we were happy together but then he stopped replying to my messages and ghosted me. How do you get over it? I sent one last message saying that I deserve better and he opened it but didn’t respond.

How you go from telling someone you love them to nothing in the space of a day?

I’m just so hurt and confused. I had to leave work early today because I couldn’t stop crying.

Do I try to call him knowing that he probably won’t pick or do I keep my dignity and leave it at my last message?

How do you get through this?

Same thing happened to me after about the same amount of time
One weekend he was banging on about marrying me to my family the next he had pulled the rug and ghosted me
To make matters worse we worked in the same place so I still had to see his smug bloody face
This was 10 years ago now and I don't think I'll ever truly trust a man again.
However it does get easier
Keep busy
And don't send any messages etc
He's made it clear he's an arsehole and I wish I hadn't made any attempts to reach out . You'll just regret it later

Any chance he was married?

I was ghosted after a year. It was awful.

I chased and chased and made him face me, and it took me 2 years of on off contact/ being friends/ nagging him for me to realise it would never get better and to give up.

I wasted those years. Don't do what I did op, walk away. Believe me when I say there is no scenario in which this ends in happiness for you if he's in your life. And believe yourself when you say you deserve better.

Well, that was quite horrible. "They don't owe you anything."

We all owe each other basic human decency.

"I don't think this is working." That's all ghosters need to say. But they enjoy the power of hurting someone who trusted them.

Obviously, if you've been abusive then get ghosted, it's not a mystery why. But for normal relationships, even a one line text is shitty, but not as low as ghosting.

I'm sorry you're feeling so rubbish it really is such a horrible feeling! I have had this happen to me in the past and the thing that got me through it is just thinking how much I definitely did not want to be with someone that thinks it's ok to treat someone like that, as upset as you are, think of it as an ick! I also thinks it's quite narcissistic to act one way and then suddenly drop you like that, you deserve so much better! Sadly if he has done this to you, he will probably do it to someone else too so look at it as a lucky escape.

One day when you meet the right person you'll look back and be grateful that this happened. Try and keep yourself busy and block him! Xx

If you were in a serious relationship but was it via texts only I don't understand

100% this. ^ I'm so sorry @Sweetladyjane what a horrible thing to happen. But yeah it does sound like you dodged a bullet. Take care of yourself. And as pps have said, block him on everything and make sure he cannot contact you again. And do NOT weaken and contact him.

Have i missed something, I thought it was a conventional relationship, but you’re suggesting they never met?

op this year I’ve been both ghosted and dumped

yay 😀

actually both hurt , but the ghoster was the most emotionally avoidant person ever
and rightly or wrongly I’ve learnt that sometimes people can’t say what they need to say

curious with hindsight did you see any of this coming ? Was he avoidant ?
as a PP said you may on reflection have seen some signs

either way it’s very hurtful and it’s a horrible
time of year to boot
look after yourself and be kind to yourself

This is ridiculous. I really struggle to comprehend ghosting someone in that situation... my god, I feel so sorry for you. That's disgusting.

@Vretz Yes it wasn't great! Now I just see it that he did me a favour. If he was capable of doing that then I'm better off without him.

Happened to me after 18months too. He is emotionally avoidant and hugely insecure -lots of issues so it wasn’t a surprise but hurt so much as it really seemed like we were making progress and were closer than we had ever been. But he took fright.
Beware -very likely he will come back -be strong when that happens and don’t let him back.

Beware -very likely he will come back -be strong when that happens and don’t let him back

this was true in my case
many returns and I foolishly went back each time

it’s weird as a part of me wants him to message as I’ll know I ‘meant something’ - as it does feel shitty

but I also hope he doesn’t and in a few months I’ll move on , and forgive myself

This!

Ghosting is skipping out on someone after 3 or 4 dates. Ending a relationship of a year or more by vanishing and blocking the other person isn't ghosting, it's psychotic.

It’s not ‘psychotic’. It’s a horrible, hurtful, cowardly, unempathic way of treating someone, but it’s not psychotic.