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Original poster

Partner is offended because someone bought the shopping

30 replies

tinatsarina · 13/11/2023 17:20

Ok so was at the shop got a few items under £3 total phone wouldn't beep for contactless, didn't have my card, had put in voucher couldn't work out why it wasn't working. Staff member (male) paid for it, very grateful. Had tried to phone partner to bring my card down (live up the road from the shop) he hadn't answered. Got home and explained and he's got offended at 'some man buying your shopping' was ranting about go pay it back (no change on me) but is it just me or is he massively over reacting?

OP posts:
Catsfrontbum · 13/11/2023 17:21

Yes massively.

I would go back and pay the guy back though and say thank you.

GodDammitCecil · 13/11/2023 17:22

You are going to go and pay the man back though, right?

And O/T, but how does a few items come to less than £3…?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 13/11/2023 17:23

He is massively overreacting here.

How is he with you usually day to day?. Has he pulled this sort of rubbish behaviour on you before now?

Original poster
tinatsarina · 13/11/2023 17:24

I don't want it to outing but it was two items I got and then used a voucher so under £2 in the end really

OP posts:
Original poster
tinatsarina · 13/11/2023 17:27

There is issues we've argued loads, there's previous with him and his behaviour but always manages to make me feel like I've done something wrong etc, he's supposed to be on antidepressants but hasn't took them for a week or so. Blames his shitty behaviour on stress at work and then wonders why I'm not sympathetic when he has 'anxiety' attacks

OP posts:
AFieldGuideToTrees · 13/11/2023 17:31

Get rid of this arsehole, OP.

HamsterBanana · 13/11/2023 17:31

Huge weird reaction if that happened to me DH would be like "nice one 🙌🏻".

Maybe time to consider what you see in this man.

HamsterBanana · 13/11/2023 17:32

tinatsarina · 13/11/2023 17:27

There is issues we've argued loads, there's previous with him and his behaviour but always manages to make me feel like I've done something wrong etc, he's supposed to be on antidepressants but hasn't took them for a week or so. Blames his shitty behaviour on stress at work and then wonders why I'm not sympathetic when he has 'anxiety' attacks

This is not an anxiety attack though, this is just classic arsehole behaviour.

F1ymetothetoon · 13/11/2023 17:35

Dump Mr Arsehole and hook up with the lovely kind cashier.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 13/11/2023 17:39

Anti depressants won’t have any effect on his behaviour because he is at heart abusive towards you rather than depressed. Many such men use depression as an excuse or justification for this type of behaviour.

Dery · 13/11/2023 17:40

Your partner sounds like an arsehole. Can you leave the relationship?

I do think you should pay the shop guy back though; it isn’t right to let the cashier pick up the tab no matter how small it is.

Devilsmommy · 13/11/2023 17:41

HamsterBanana · 13/11/2023 17:31

Huge weird reaction if that happened to me DH would be like "nice one 🙌🏻".

Maybe time to consider what you see in this man.

100% this

GrazingSheep · 13/11/2023 17:44

You know you need to separate.

EvenBetta · 13/11/2023 17:45

You can just dump him and enjoy your life. No reason not to.

Partner is offended because someone bought the shopping
Original poster
tinatsarina · 13/11/2023 17:47

10+ years three kids in, I'm only now fighting back with his behaviour. It's hard cuz it's one of those ones when he's on form it's great, could help more with kids etc but isn't snarky and horrible but when he gets that arsehole head on he's awful. Supposed to be getting married in August and I'm 50/50. He wasn't always like this but maybe he was and I just didn't see it.

OP posts:
EvenBetta · 13/11/2023 17:49

Eugh, saw your other thread, you’re financially dependent on a trashy cokehead of a boyfriend. Appalling. You urgently need to get a job and get this trash away from your kids.

marcopront · 13/11/2023 17:49

tinatsarina · 13/11/2023 17:24

I don't want it to outing but it was two items I got and then used a voucher so under £2 in the end really

So telling us that someone paid for your shopping and your partner overreacted isn't outing but telling us what you bought would be?

How coming do you think this is?

Original poster
tinatsarina · 13/11/2023 18:01

I'm working on the job front. Have an appointment tomorrow to speak to someone about benefits, childcare and working. At the moment work is bank working which I can only do if he's off at the weekend to sit with the kids.

OP posts:
5128gap · 13/11/2023 18:07

Its not how nice they can be OP. It's how mean they get when they decide not to be, and how often they do it. The default for a relaxed happy future is that they're nice nearly all the time, with the very occasional exception. But the exception should never scare you, blame you for anything that's not your fault or make you feel you have to walk on egg shells or pander round them.

Original poster
tinatsarina · 13/11/2023 18:12

It's the eggshells and pandering I have to do. When I've spoke to him he says he's stressed, exhausted, apologies for what he's said, hence why he was on the antidepressants to try and get his head clear so we could start to work on this but now he's decided he doesn't want/need them. Has voiced suicidal feelings before, everything he has pressure it's 'anxiety' or 'i feel like I'm having a breakdown' yet when I asked him to take a day cuz I wasn't well and had no one else to help with the kids he couldn't cuz he has a career. Even though I put mine on hold to look after the kids. I'm working up the courage to speak to someone at the local women's centre/women's aid

OP posts:
OhComeOnFFS · 13/11/2023 18:14

Don't even think of marrying this loser, OP. You and your kids deserve so much more.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 13/11/2023 18:17

Find the courage within you to speak to Women’s Aid.

Anti depressants will not ever be effective re him because he is at heart abusive, that is his default setting. The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none.

GrazingSheep · 13/11/2023 18:18

It's the eggshells and pandering I have to do

He’s a junkie.
You have to leave him.

billy1966 · 13/11/2023 18:51

Don't marry this nasty abusive arse.

Please contact Women's aid for advice and support.

Continue planning on getting yourself and your children away from him.

AgentJohnson · 13/11/2023 18:52

Do not marry this poor excuse for a man!!!!!!

At some stage you are going’s to have to start making better decisions. Which means you have to stop waiting for the non arsehole version of him to permanently stick around. Right now your relationship is a terrible primary relationship role model for your children, they can’t change their dysfunctional family dynamic but you can.

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