The constant rejection must be so horrible.
I'm 39 and it's not him. He's wonderful, provides financially, emotionally, pulls his weight around the house, great father.
But when he touches me I cringe, not because of him but because I hate my body, it's saggy, a bit overweight and embarrassing. He doenst care but I do.
Ontop of that I've suffered from depression and anxiety for years. Am waiting on ADHD assessment.
In my 20s had a good sex drive. But now it's literally non existent.
And it makes me sad. I want to want to have sex but the feeling just isn't there.
If I push myself I do enjoy it once I'm into it but then immediately it goes back to trying to avoid it.
He tried to kiss me in bed the other night and I said 'I'm too old for all that now' I was joking but that's how I feel deep down. Like a pensioner and I've just got zero desire for it.
I might masturbate maybe once or twice a month but it's usually when I'm on my period and it helps my cramps and getting me off to sleep when it's hurting. It's quick and emotionless.
What's wrong with me. Is this normal at 39?