Reasons men give for not wanting to marry......????????????

[desperatedora]

Just wondering really what other peoples thoughts/experiences are with this topic.

My DP and I have been together 3years and have one DS together.

Initially I was not too keen on marriage as a concept due to extremely bad exepriences of parents various marriages as a child.

However, since having DS have been wondering more and more whether marriage isnt the way to go, if only to make things easier/secure Ds's future if one of us dies.

Dp is adamant that marriage is 'pointless' and says it is 'against his beliefs'. I am not disputing that but my counter argument is that if it is insignificant why not just do it for the reasons as listed above.

It is making me wonder if maybe he does not love me in 'that way' or enough or wants to remain free at least on paper. I suppose it makes me feel less worthy somehow especially as lots of my friends are having weddings and celebrating their relationships.

Just wondered what peoples views are!

ooh, cross posted mildman...
my that IS a big book.

Yes, he came with me to register both births.

Of course marriage doesn't mean much - if you don't beleive in it. But for some reason it meant a lot to me - we thought it was just an excuse for a big party after years of living together. But it made a difference in ways I can't really explain and didn't expect.

DH had to be prompted to ask me - by his best mate proposing to his GF. He and DH are the most competitive people on the face of the earth He was quite happy to do so, just hadn't though of it before.

Ok. Social services will no doubt come and take her away then if I die..

Mrs D, I get loads of respect even though we're not married . No probs at all with having a diff surname. Even if we got married, I would keep my surname.

A wedding costs £75. You don't need rings to be legally married. All you need are two witnesses.

People often use money as an excuse. But it's just that.

Personally, it means something to me, so I made sure never to have kids with someone I wasn't married to.

It's not just 'a piece of paper', either, anymore than the title deeds to your house or a will is. It has some pretty important legal ramifications, particularly in the case of your partner's sudden death or in the event of a split.

A marriage can only be legally annulled under special circumstances, such as non-consummation or marriage under duress/forced marriage.

Otherwise, it's a divorce.

And even if you rip up the marriage certificate, um, the marriage is still valid if it has met the requirements for a legal marriage.

Moi?

Nah, just stating the facts, madame

If it doesn't mean anything to others, well, hey ho, it's their choice.

But it's never a good scene when one person wants it and the other doesn't.

Puppy, I can't be arsed to do a search on here, but there are several long threads on here about what happens when a partner suddenly dies and the couple are not married.

Now, of course, for those who truly don't want to marry, it is really best to see a solicitor and plan for such an event, to get teh same sort of coverage that marriage automatically provides.

But a lot of people don't, same with unmarried couples buying a house together, and the ramifications can be unpleasant at best and devestating at worst if the unmarried couple hasn't seen to it that they cover themselves and each other in such cases.

Yes, moi is me Expat (don't really know what she means by chippy, is it an insult d'ya think??)

Don't worry, mildmannered has already told me lots earlier in thread.

... I'll have you know, I've never played ice hockey..

Is it really true that, in the event of the mother dying, the courts would remove children from a biological father, with parental responsibility, who has been living with the children in a family unit, to place them with grandparents? I can't help thinking that this is highly unlikely, but I could be wrong. Anyone with family law experience care to enlighten us?

I don't think Puppy is being particularly chippy. I think she has covered most of the legal bases, and has made responsible, informed choices.

But i've been posting loads of s - how can that mean I'm irritable!

I understand some folks really have objects of the conscience or beliefs to it, which is fine, but I just hope they understand the legal ramifications of this, especially when children and property and assets involved, and plan accordingly - in the legal sense, that is.

It's like having a will - better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

Thanks policywonk... I'm not advocating it for everyone... sorry to be hijacking the thread too..