I'm 30 and graduated from university 8 years ago. Whilst I was at university, our friendship group made friends with a girl who exhibited very , very strange behaviour; to the extent it was clear she obviously had some mental health problems. She was referred to the local CMHT whilst we were at uni, and diagnosed with EUPD from them.
Examples included:
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She was the eldest of 5 and said she needed money to support her parent's as her Dad's business was failing, and she'd had to take on credit cards to support this.
As we were all students, none of us had any money spare. She'd phone us and demand money to help pay her credit card bills, and genuinely demand we would sell our stuff or take out loans/ credit card ourselves to pass on the money to her, ( obviously we all refused to do this). She would cry and say how horrible we were in refusing to assist.
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We didn't live with her, but she would tell us how she would lock the communal toaster and microwave in her room when she went out, ( she was in uni halls so these were owned by the uni and available to everyone).
This caused arguments with her housemates, but she refused to accept she was wrong; and she would send lengthy and abusive emails to the uni accommodation service when asked not to do this.
There were ongoing issues, with her calling 999 on housemates if they asked her to take the rubbish out, ( uni accommodation service had a weekly rota by room number). She didn't seem to understand how inappropriate it was to misuse 999 in this way, ( she'd tell 999 she felt threatened by her housemates, but admit afterwards it was just cos she wanted to stop her housemates asking her again).
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Whilst we were there, another student sadly died in a car crash and there was alot of local media attention. None of us, ( including her), had ever known or met him. Yet she was posting facebook memorials for the next six months about the loss of her "best friend."
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She got into a very worrying and strange relationship during uni. The man involved was the same age as us, but not a student and working full time. He'd take her to hotels to stay very regularly, ( alot of these were paid for via his work). She'd tell us she didn't want to have sex until she was married for religious reasons, but he would sexually assault at these hotels. We told her to cut all contact with him and to report to the police, but she would continually go back and then genuinely appear surprised when she was assaulted again. He ended the relationship by blocking her on everything, ( he even married someone else when he was in his early 20's), but years after he cut contact and blocked her, she'd maintain that, "he's technically cheating on me by marrying x, as he didn't actually say he'd dumped me , he just blocked me, so until he says he dumped me we are still in a relationship," ( this was years after he'd cut contact by blocking her on everything).
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She'd regularly accuse university staff, ( both lecturers and support staff such as library workers), of being verbally abusive to her and would make formal complaints regarding this. This normally centred around her wanting extensions , and not understanding what was an acceptable reason to request an extension for an essay, ( her subject was 100% coursework). E.G she would think they were being abusive if she requested an extension as she had to go to a family party the day before an essay was due.
We stayed friends with her as it was clear she was vulnerable, had the EUPD diagnosis and had poor mental health bad enough for the CMHT to be involved.
But after we graduated her behaviour ramped up further. She began to get very nasty to various members of the group . Most cut contact. I never officially cut contact, but remained very, very low contact and "busy."
She messaged me recently out of the blue and said she was having a hard time as a relative had died and wanted to reconnect. I felt bad too say a flat out no.
However, since this message 8 weeks ago she's been phoning me upwards of 10 x a day, demands to know why I just don't tell my employer to "wait!!!" when she calls whilst im working .
She is still demanding money for very spurious reasons, ( this time, due to a cousin having an emergency), and is still annoyed when I say no.
She will ring at midnight on work nights and be genuinely offended when I say I can't talk, ( she doesn't work and receives benefits due to he mental health). It honestly appears from talking to her, she hasn't changed at all.
More disturbingly, she says she is in regular contact with the man who assaulted her at uni. He is still married and has told her he won't leave his wife for her, but is happy to meet her in hotels for sex. She has forwarded me messages and the way he speaks to her is disgusting, and he is clearly laughing at her obvious vulnerabilities, ( also spurious threats that if she tells his wife they are in contact he will report her parents to HMRC).
I know I'm not responsible for her and she is not a very pleasant person to be around; but she is so vulnerable and clearly being sexually exploited by this man that I feel bad to cut her off completely.
What would be the best way forward here ?
For clarity, she says she is no longer under a CMHT but receives PIP and UC as her mental health makes her too ill to work; so I can't speak to CMHT R.E. my concerns she is being exploited.
Alot of her contact is about this man and what she can do to finally win him back from his wife.....