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Original poster

Ignore them all or get my own solicitor?

39 replies

ctbiscp · 08/11/2023 12:52

Going to try to be quite vague and change some details as this is ongoing. I will call the 'thing' a sports car for the purpose of this thread..

Anyone that knows me knows that I have always wanted this sports car, ever since I was a kid, I knew if I ever wanted it I would have to save up for years. Sounds pathetic but I saw it in a movie when I was about six, completely fell in love with it and have wanted one ever since.

I started saving up for it six years ago, I didn't tell anyone I was saving up or even that I was thinking of getting it, I just waited each month for my wages then transferred some over to my savings account. Savings account is included with my only bank account so I have proof of every penny.

Two weeks ago I finally had enough to buy the car. So I bought it.

Right after getting the car a few members of my family started being really off with me, Started with them questioning me about where I got the money to pay for the car, Then I started getting messages from them asking loads of questions, then it progressed to phone calls, An example of one of the calls would be one of them calling me, demanding to see my bank statements, asking how 'someone like me' can afford a car like that, Asking how I got that kind of money 'out of nowhere' telling me I had better enjoy it whilst I can, telling me I have never seen them mad before but they think its time for me to see that side of them. I ended up blocking them as it was constant.

Now half my family have fallen out with me because phone call family member told them I 'obviously' stole the money from elderly relatives and they are going to a solicitor and all I have to do is show my family my bank statements and this will all go away. I have a message calling me a 'thieving cunt' amongst other things.

I'm more than happy to show a solicitor my bank statements but not my family as its none of their business, they are taking this as a sign of my 'guilt' because I won't show them.

Is it best to ignore it all or get a solicitor myself? Everything was totally fine before I got this 'car' and I have never been through anything like this before.

OP posts:
Princessbananahamock · 08/11/2023 12:59

I would keep a record of all messages emails and phone calls.
You can do a letter yourself cease and desist. They are harassing and intimidating you. If they persist then police infact I would probably log in with police online as you have received a threat.
They sound bat shit crazy and perhaps jealous?

Dacadactyl · 08/11/2023 13:00

I'd just think of it as hot air until they actually got a solicitor. So I'd ignore them for the time being.

But as PP says, keep records of all messages.

SallySunrise · 08/11/2023 13:02

Report them to the police for harassment.

Jealous twats, if they really thought you were stealing they'd go to the police themselves.

MorrisZapp · 08/11/2023 13:02

I wouldn't bother engaging with anyone who called me a thieving cunt.

If these people attempt to instruct a solicitor they will be laughed at. No solicitor can ask to see your bank statements.

Ibravedaflood · 08/11/2023 13:02

The only thing you need to tell them is to fuck off..
Imo.. Do not get into any discussion with anyone about your new 'car'...

Londonscallingme · 08/11/2023 13:06

In order to compel you to disclose your bank statements they would need to report you to the police and the police would need to issue a warrant. Obviously the police would not do that without good evidence that a crime has been committed. I'd ignore them and let them tie themselves in knots if I were you. At some point sufficiently far in the future I might actually show them the statements just to show them that they had been wasting their time but that's probably a bit petty.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 08/11/2023 13:08

Jealousy is so ugly. I agree with the others, tell them to fuck off.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 08/11/2023 13:12

Second the people telling you to tell them to fuck off and mind their own business.

And your family are utter loons. Well done for working hard to fulfil a long held dream, BTW.

Ibravedaflood · 08/11/2023 13:14

Unless your new 'car' is really a boat I would be parading round your entire Village /Town /City.... Bold and proud op. You have done nothing wrong..

titchy · 08/11/2023 13:15

Tell them you have a side hustle as a cam girl.

Balloonhearts · 08/11/2023 13:19

Tell them you have a side hustle as a cam girl.

YES! And that you are reluctant to show them statements as it would cause more problems. The implications being that their husbands watch your shows. If they want to sling shit and cause baseless drama, get in in there. Make it really outrageous. They want drama over nothing, give them something to really get their teeth into.

In all seriousness I would probably get a solicitor of my own and attempt to sue for slander/libel or whatever the equivalent is where you live.

Laurdo · 08/11/2023 13:27

Just ignore them. Report them to the police for harassment and cut them off.

If you get any lawyers letter, which you won't you can respond to that. But you absolutely don't have to do that either. You don't owe them any explanation.

Don't waste your money on solicitors. Save that money and buy another car to piss them off more.

What is actually wrong with some people?

Anothernick · 08/11/2023 13:46

It's not likely that your family will get a solicitor to take on a case like this. It's all rumour and hearsay, there's no solid evidence that could be used in court. So I think their threats can be igonred, though as other have said you may want to pursue them for harrassment.

HumourReplacementTherapy · 08/11/2023 13:57

Bloody hell! Good job you can choose your friends! They sound bloody awful.
Ignore or
Drive past their house a lot with your music blasting (or equivalent depending on what the actual 'thing' is)
Seriously though- they've made threats so I would go to the police and ask them to pay them a visit.

vidflex · 08/11/2023 13:59

If they are that concerned that you stole that money off a vulnerable , tell them to call the police and you'll be happy to show police you're bank statements.

quivers · 08/11/2023 14:06

It makes me wonder why they've got that idea in their head anyway. Do you think that perhaps they have a side eye on the elderly relative's money and are trying to think of a way of relieving them of some of it? It would make them really pissed off if they thought you'd got to the pot of gold before they did.

People tend to assume of others what they would do themselves given half a chance.

michoconnell · 08/11/2023 14:13

Ignore them. You know they are in the wrong.

SlippinJanie · 08/11/2023 14:20

They are projecting. That's how they would get / are planning to get money for a "car". They have no clue about careful, consistent saving. I might say "I saved up 6 years for this, fuck off" but really that's more information than they deserve. You don't need to do a thing because you know the innocent truth of the matter.

GoldDuster · 08/11/2023 14:28

You don't need to pay money to a solicitor so that you can show them your bank statements, it's not necessary.

Given that the relationship between you and these family members is likely beyond repair due to their behaviour, I'd ignore them. In order to take this further they would have to report their suspected theft to the police and in that case all you would have to do is comply with the police requests if they felt there was a case to pursue.

Don't spend a penny or any of your energy in joining in with their circus, it's nothing to do with you. Enjoy the car.

KeepSmiling89 · 08/11/2023 14:34

I was getting excited about this sports car and wondered what kind it was until I re-read your opening paragraph! Well done on saving up for it though! Enjoy yourself with it (whatever 'it' may be - I'm very intrigued by it!)

Can't believe how horrible these people are being...and they're your family?!
I would ignore them but keep a record of everything to use as evidence as they are harassing you. Don't show them anything unless they do call the police and the police ask for your bank statements (I don't know if the police would act on their accusations anyway!)

Tinkerbyebye · 08/11/2023 14:53

Let them waste their time by going to a solicitor. Any good 9ne would tell the they have no case

just block the family member

if any other family member asks to see statements just tell them you saved it, they either trust you, or they don’t, and if they don’t there is no point continuing a relationship with them so block them

the relative sounds jealous

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/11/2023 14:56

If they think a crime has been committed, they should talk to the police and social services. And I'd tell them as much, "please call the police and social services, I'm very happy to talk to them. Otherwise I'll call them myself for harassment."

baileys6904 · 08/11/2023 15:00

The car isn't a new spa complex and the relative beginning with T is it??

Otherwise tell them you go the money as hush money from a relatives dastardly secret and then paying you off. Give them something else to talk about

dimsumfatsum · 08/11/2023 15:01

Please get your 'car' insured or it'll be vandalised by your 'family'.

Beautiful3 · 08/11/2023 15:02

I would be stressed but wouldn't show them my bank books, because It's confidential information. I'd encourage them to call the police. How could they actually report you without an actual crime?! The police would ask them for evidence of theft. They can't just act on hearsay. The solicitor can't question you either. What is he going to say? Dear x, where did the money come from, to purchase said car?! That's ridiculous! Just ignore them all and block them. Your immediate family should have your back, instead of hassling you too. You could save all your messages and get a cease and desist order.

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