Ignore them all or get my own solicitor?

[ctbiscp]

Going to try to be quite vague and change some details as this is ongoing. I will call the 'thing' a sports car for the purpose of this thread..

Anyone that knows me knows that I have always wanted this sports car, ever since I was a kid, I knew if I ever wanted it I would have to save up for years. Sounds pathetic but I saw it in a movie when I was about six, completely fell in love with it and have wanted one ever since.

I started saving up for it six years ago, I didn't tell anyone I was saving up or even that I was thinking of getting it, I just waited each month for my wages then transferred some over to my savings account. Savings account is included with my only bank account so I have proof of every penny.

Two weeks ago I finally had enough to buy the car. So I bought it.

Right after getting the car a few members of my family started being really off with me, Started with them questioning me about where I got the money to pay for the car, Then I started getting messages from them asking loads of questions, then it progressed to phone calls, An example of one of the calls would be one of them calling me, demanding to see my bank statements, asking how 'someone like me' can afford a car like that, Asking how I got that kind of money 'out of nowhere' telling me I had better enjoy it whilst I can, telling me I have never seen them mad before but they think its time for me to see that side of them. I ended up blocking them as it was constant.

Now half my family have fallen out with me because phone call family member told them I 'obviously' stole the money from elderly relatives and they are going to a solicitor and all I have to do is show my family my bank statements and this will all go away. I have a message calling me a 'thieving cunt' amongst other things.

I'm more than happy to show a solicitor my bank statements but not my family as its none of their business, they are taking this as a sign of my 'guilt' because I won't show them.

Is it best to ignore it all or get a solicitor myself? Everything was totally fine before I got this 'car' and I have never been through anything like this before.

Nope. You’d have to show a full 6 years of statements.

And even if you did I bet it would be be the end of it. I imagine that these people would start saying “well actually the only way you could have saved that money was by taking cash from Granny and spending that on your day to day expenses”. Unless you fancy doing a full reconciliation or all your expenses, outgoings and lifestyle for that period.

OP, so sorry to hear this! It must have taken the shine off the 'car'. You don't need these petty, jealous people in your life. I'm sorry they are your family. As a PP said, tell them you saved up for it, and if they don't believe you, that's on them. And change the subject.
I say well done you, and enjoy your 'car'.

Wow. Don't engage. Maybe a solicitors letter would wond their necks in.

Ignore such hoovering attempts to draw you into their dysfunctional world.

Report them to the police for harassment and cut them off.

I'm so sorry you have such awful family members OP. They sound very thick as well as vindictive. Have they even checked with the person you were supposed to have stolen from? Or of that person has an attorney, checked the bank statements from their side?

I would ignore and report to the police if there is any further harassment. I think police advise sending a message to say stop harassing me or I will report to the police and then report if any further messages come through

Tell them all to go get a solicitor and to do their worst.

Add that you also think they need to check ageing relative's bank accounts to make sure nothing has gone missing. That their solicitor can discuss it with yours.

Finish with you are very sad that Xs jealousy has led to this and that you are really disappointed in them all!

Or just laugh at them!

Ignore ignore ignore.

If you've got access to an elderly relations bank account, do you have ongoing evident / receipts relating to cash withdrawals, use of a debit card, what it was spent on etc?

Do you have power of attorney? Does the relative have capacity?

Ignore them all and block them, preferably. They sound absolutely toxic. You haven’t stolen money off anyone, so you have nothing to fear. Let them call the police and and you can show the police your bank statements if need be. To be taken seriously they would have to have evidence that a crime had been committed, ie, money gone from a relative’s account. Not just tittle tattle like “we don’t think she can afford this so she must have stolen it”. It’s so pathetic it’s laughable. Let them waste money on a solicitor if they want. Tell them to bring it on because you can prove you have just saved the money. What nonsense. The only other message to them should be to ‘fuck off or I’ll report you to the police for harassment’. (Keep screen shots to prove it.)

Just wanted to say congratulations! It takes huge effort and discipline to consistently save for something - well done. I'm so sorry the behaviour of your lunatic family members will be diminishing some of the joy of your achievement.

To be taken seriously they would have to have evidence that a crime had been committed, ie, money gone from a relative’s account. Not just tittle tattle like “we don’t think she can afford this so she must have stolen it”

Sorry to say, OP, but your family have given you a very valuable insight into how they think about money and the getting and spending of it here - that the only way you can find the money to make a major purchase is by some sort of criminality. Have they not shown you this side of them before? because it doesn't come out of nowhere.

Also, the attitude that you have to account to them for having something like this; what's the family dynamic here? are you the one never supposed to have anything nice or expensive?

Don't bother forking out for a solicitor. Dont engage further with them. Just keep any messages from them, record phone calls if possible and if they persist, contact the police and get a crime number.

Look solicitors don't decide who gets prosecuted or have some kind of investigative function or any ability to demand bank statement off random people. Your relatives sound like every solicitor's worst nightmare clients. A solicitor is just going to tell them they have no evidence of wrongdoing and send them on their way. If they have evidence the solicitor will tell them to go to the police. Evidence does not consist of wild allegations that because somebody has something expensive they must have stolen money from some unspecified old relative. The solicitor is certainly not going to be keen to end up in the middle of your crazy family's dispute. There is no way that I would be sharing my bank details with them or their solicitor. I'd be just blocking them.

Anyone else really want to know what the "car" is, but knows they can't ask! Ignore your relatives and enjoy, OP.

Even if a solicitor does 'write a letter,' so what? there's no rule that says OP has to reply. If relations want to waste their money, let them.