It's a mil one

[AllQuietOnTheWesternFront]

Just wondering if I’m being unreasonable!

I posted a couple of months back about my mil being on my car and causing me over a grands worth of damage & refusing to pay for the damage so when I got a new car I refused to put her on the insurance.
She hasn’t spoken to me since so 3 months now, she’s ignored my children (despite living on the next road) and ignored their text messages, she’s ignored my partners messages & phone calls and when he did go over there she was just plain nasty about me so didn’t go again.

His sister has been in touch and wants us to contribute £600 towards getting mil a car as mil can’t afford it off her own back. his sister is moaning her and her partner can’t afford it and it’s not fair on her partner to pay for their mother despite me paying for their mother out of my own pocket for years (were talking around 15 grand including car insurance!!)
His mum as expected has said complete shit about us, saying we haven’t bothered with her despite her ignoring her own grandkids!
It’s gotten to the point where my kids have asked if she’s moved away or died (!!!) my partner explained this to his sister and all she’s bothered about is getting money out of us for this car as mil walking is apparently making her poorly (despite the fact she owns a horse and can muck out everyday she’s probably fitter than me!)

Am I wrong to refuse to pay a penny more? 😂 my partner doesn’t want to pay either but his sister is really pushing us into the corner saying we’re disgusting for not helping his mum out. She doesn’t care about anything just getting money out of us. They've also googled our wages and worked out how much money we've got coming in. 😬

They can fuck off.

Unless they plan to reimburse you 50% of the 15k you spent over the years on MIL using your car.

She should sell her horse and buy her own car.

She's made her bed now she can lie in it.

Previous two post define exactly what I think.

In good words your husband should tell SIL something like, we already had guaranteed her driving this long, unfortunately we are unable to accommodate further related expenditure in our finances.
Basically is a bit longer fuck off.

No is a complete sentence. MIL can sell her horse if she wants a car that much.

That's what I've said to sell the horse, I just know when she gets a car next it'll be I can't afford the insurance, tax or mot!
She's refusing to sell the horse which ironically she only has because I helped pay for a large chunk of it!

Listen I have mobility problems and could really do with a car but ffs I don't expect my kids to club together and contribute financially for one!. She's a massive CF

Why on earth would you give her money.
i can’t see any reason you would, so I just wouldn’t engage with the conversation for another second

I think it's more the fact that it's upset me, her thinking she can demand money when she's ignored her disabled grandchildren who struggle to understand things like this for 3 months. (I've told them she's poorly but there not stupid they'll guess eventually.)

Thrice no!!!
If she owns a horse tell your Dsis your MIL doesn't need a car - she can ride into town! 😉 or sell the horse and use the money to buy a car herself!

Yeah I get that but you can’t control her or make her do anything, like be a decent human
so your options are to explain yourself to SIL and MIL again, or stop engaging in the conversation.
trying to make them see sense seems fruitless, as frustrating as that may be

Just point out to the sister how much you have spent over the years on mum having access to your car by way of insurance, did she pay for petrol? And that she damaged the car, refused to pay for the damage so cost you whatever

you have done your bit and it’s now up to her and mum to sort it between them

Tell her to ride her horse anywhere she needs to go, worked back in the day 😂😂

Nope. Explain to your in laws that she's ignoring you and the grandchildren so no contribution from you

With people like this, setting out how much you've already spend will just encourage them more in the belief that since you had spend the money before, you must then be able to afford it now.

Don't back down, she's being a CF

No , no and no again. Your poor children, what an awful way you MIL has treated them.

Ahh, no. Absolutely not. Those CF's have more front than sodding Blackpool.

That's very true. They wouldn't take into account the cost of living or that things have dramatically changed for us over the years. I won't bring it up. Think I may just ignore them and consider no contact with the sister.

You never had any obligation to let her drive your car (why did you?!) and you don’t have any obligation to give her money to buy one. Let her crack on and moan.
I’ve never heard of anyone demanding that their adult offspring buy them a car. Bonkers.

Time for her two children to step up and you to step right the fuck back!

Apologies if I have missed this info… why were you paying for DP’s mum to be on insurance? Why on earth had this cost £15k?

Fuck that! Tell the CFs asking that you've paid for 15 years and for a
Large chunk of horse so it's their turn to buy the car and everything that goes with it ... it's amazing what people chose to 'forget' when lumping you into a group cost!!
Is anyone else close? Can they put her on their insurance?

Let her buy her own fucking car !!

Because I paid for the insurance, mot and tax and that's including giving her money for food/bills over the years where she's claimed she has no money or had baliffs turn up.

I originally put her on the insurance as I have mobility issues, some weeks I cannot drive and it was helpful at the time and she'd give me lifts to the shops etc until she got to the point where she thought it was her car and just took over. Now I just do a online food delivery & DH is learning to drive!

@FloofCloud nobody else is close, dhs other sister is no contact with her. (Can see why!)