It's a mil one

[AllQuietOnTheWesternFront]

Just wondering if I’m being unreasonable!

I posted a couple of months back about my mil being on my car and causing me over a grands worth of damage & refusing to pay for the damage so when I got a new car I refused to put her on the insurance.
She hasn’t spoken to me since so 3 months now, she’s ignored my children (despite living on the next road) and ignored their text messages, she’s ignored my partners messages & phone calls and when he did go over there she was just plain nasty about me so didn’t go again.

His sister has been in touch and wants us to contribute £600 towards getting mil a car as mil can’t afford it off her own back. his sister is moaning her and her partner can’t afford it and it’s not fair on her partner to pay for their mother despite me paying for their mother out of my own pocket for years (were talking around 15 grand including car insurance!!)
His mum as expected has said complete shit about us, saying we haven’t bothered with her despite her ignoring her own grandkids!
It’s gotten to the point where my kids have asked if she’s moved away or died (!!!) my partner explained this to his sister and all she’s bothered about is getting money out of us for this car as mil walking is apparently making her poorly (despite the fact she owns a horse and can muck out everyday she’s probably fitter than me!)

Am I wrong to refuse to pay a penny more? 😂 my partner doesn’t want to pay either but his sister is really pushing us into the corner saying we’re disgusting for not helping his mum out. She doesn’t care about anything just getting money out of us. They've also googled our wages and worked out how much money we've got coming in. 😬

Tell her she can trot on!

I was already firmly in the "no" camp even before I read that she HAS A HORSE

What the hell??

No, that's just insane.

Owning a horse is a HUGE luxury. She doesn't get to do that and then plead poverty.

Would be irrelevant to me anyway, as the ignoring my kids would already have resulted in a firm no.

Tell them to jog on.

Tell her to go jump. What a CF.

SIL can pressure all she wants. You and your DH just have to say "no" or ignore. Block her if she doesn't stop and I would seriously consider going low to no contact with her as well as MIL! Tell your kids what is going on in a way that makes sense to them, no reason why they should be left in the dark wondering why they're being ignored like its their fault.

This 100%.

You know what you have to do, OP. Does your SIL bring anything to your life except demands for money?

No not really. She doesn't do much with the kids, she even once said she couldn't look after ds2 he's to much hard work! (When he's a really easy kid.)
Despite us babysitting her child numerous times for her over the years!

We used to get on well, but nowadays we don't hear from her unless it's about money.

OP I still think that you shouldn't pay a penny, however you put her on your insurance to take advantage of her driving you around in first instance. Whatever it cost you was for your own profit. I wouldn't raise a word about the amount of money you spent on the car because that argument has two sides.

I wouldn't give her a penny purely based on ignoring her grandchildren alone. It takes a really nasty person to do that.

No she asked to go onto the car, and so I agreed on that basis otherwise she'd of just driven around at her own free leisure. She took advantage of it she would disappear with it for days at a time and park it outside hers until I would ask what was going on and she'd claim I didn't need it as I wasn't going out anywhere.
Also another arugment is that she would smoke in the car despite me telling her not too, she burnt cigarettes into the seats etc. so no I didn't take advantage there.

Yes, yes it does. She's not a nice person.

This...

😂😂😂

@AllQuietOnTheWesternFront, if that is the case they won't be able to argue back other than nonsense.
If you got money enough than you can spare, treat your family this Xmas with that 600 quid, at least it will be a treat well deserved.

I would ignore whole bunch of them. She can take care of herself for a change.

I wouldn’t pay a penny. She sounds a nightmare. How entitled of them to google your wages and decide you can afford it! If your MIL is willing to bad mouth you and ignore all of you I don’t understand why she thinks you would want to help her.

So going on your posts op, your mil has issues with budgeting and living within her means by the sounds of it and is expecting her children to just bail her out but isn't even using the money she's been given to help in any sensible way.

I understand how important pets are but it sounds like that horse should have been gone long ago.

The answer is, you say no and then refuse to have any further discussion about it. As others have rightly said no is a complete sentence.

If sil keeps up I'd go low to no contact with her as well.