To end my relationship over this

[herewegoagain7]

I have been with my partner nearly two years, however he has always been a bit insecure and always asks lots of questions about former partners
We met online dating and he asked me the other day how many dates I had been on, we were on a nice day out and I didn't feel like the interrogation so I said shall we speak later
He has now been sulking for two weeks, been distant and cold and then said he can't trust me

Dump him ASAP. But be careful he sounds the type who might turn really nasty.

Dear god woman! Please dump him. If you are happier, more relaxed and comfortable when he isn't around, it's a bit of a no-brainer!

Yeah you already know. Time for him to go.

I used to be in a relationship with a guy who sulked as a way to punish me for so-called misdemeanours. It started off just sulking to punish me for maybe half an hour, then over the next 5 years it turned into hours, days and finally weeks of sulking and cold treatment as a way to control me and mentally wearing me down. This is not healthy behaviour- get out of this relationship.

That’s all you need to know.

He has no right to ask about your sexual history details. And I would get rid of any man who sulked for two weeks about anything. He's not mature enough for an adult relationship.

@RockStarship OMG that will be him I can already see it

I've got the hell out of there as fast as I could. Do you live together? If so do you rent and if so again is your name on the rental agreement?

No I live alone thankfully so I don't have to tolerate the sulking twat

Life is too short to try to fix a broken man child.

Unless you want to, of course, in which case he needs to do his bit and get some therapy for his insecurities.

Another vote for ending it. When you do, he will probably say "I knew you were seeing loads of other guys, that's why you are ending it".

Also are you sure he's just sulking and he doesn't think he's ended it with you?

@Unexpectedlysinglemum he is definitely only sulking

@herewegoagain7

break it off now before you start living together.

imagine that relaxed happy feeling you had when he was away & you went out with your friend, you can choose that OR you can choose his sulking going up notch by notch. You're like the frog & the boiling water.

Your first post was iffy but your follow up about the neighbour is batshit, I'd get rid of this one hon.

This is a form of coercive control. Because it’s all about his poor self-esteem and centres his ‘hurt feelings’, no matter how irrational, it can dupe you into believing it’s less sinister than it actually is.

The net effect is the same as any other kind of abuse - to box you in, diminish your autonomy and have you treading on eggs whenever you’re around him.

Throw the fucker back and save yourself, or else you’ll be in for years of this bullshit and he’ll wear you down until there’s nothing of you left.

Hold onto how you felt when you were out with your friend - relieved, free and happy. Make a conscious decision to choose that for yourself before it’s too late.

This type of behaviour often leads to domestic violence. Beware.

This actually made me angry.

Manchild sulking is a well known technique for getting his own way, ie making YOU change your behaviour. So what is he expecting? that you never spend a night away, even for employment purposes? That is unacceptable, and very controlling.

You have not revealed if you live with him but if you don't currently at least it will be easy to get rid before he employs the sulking technique to control you 24/7.

Makes me cry to think of you wasting your middle life with this pathetic wannabe controller.

Oh, OP, how is it you’ve spent two years tolerating this controlling behaviour??? End things! Is this really what you want your life to be like?

I went out with one of these anxious types.

It was hell- he literally thought I was cheating every time I left the house so sad.

Funny how their ‘anxiety’ never translates into ‘Oh, I’m so afraid I’m not good enough for her, I’d better be very, very good to her, and make sure I don’t let my insecurities negatively affect her life.’

Summed it up perfectly. « I’m anxious » means basically they will never believe what you’re saying, accuse you of cheating and FaceTime you at random intervals to make sure you are where you say you are.

Want my advice OP? Find someone secure and confident. That’s what I did. The difference in him! He encourages me to go out with my friends can you believe it!

He is punishing you because he doesn't trust you. Because either he has form for behaving badly or because someone else has in the past. Either way it isn't your problem OP. It will only get worse and if he's like this at almost 50 he isn't going to emotionally grow out of it. Run as fast as you can.

If the OP had spent the time before she entered into a relationship racking up ONS like Casanova, it would not be a ‘reason’ for him to sulk at her now.🙄

@Slipknotted not it wouldn't. What she did before she met him is none of his business. You can not go around 'managing' women like that. Scary INCEL comment.