Any regretted getting a non molestation

[TickingKey46]

Hi there
Police have advised I get a non molestation order against my ex husband (father of my 2 children). But I'm terrified it will make it worse. Had anyone regretted getting one?

Honestly I'm exhausted this has been going on for years.

Just wanted to say. Thank you to you all. I've sent the paperwork off to the courts. Done it on a no notice application. I have to say it was pretty easy. I don't find paperwork easy but NCDV were really good.

@TickingKey46 im so so pleased it’s going ahead.

Good on you OP, let us know what happens- good luck

I've found things so hard this weekend. My brain is doing overtime constantly, I'm full of nervous energy!
Did I fill the forms out correctly? Did I add everything In? Will I be able to represent myself in court ok?
But mainly I'm worried they won't be able to find him to serve him the order, this is a real conserns for me as he's homeless, he's a rough sleeper.
I'm struggling to hold my nerve and my temper.
I know I need to see this through and I will do. I have been to court many many times but I've always had legal representation. Has anyone been for a non Molestation order and self represented?
I don't really feel I have anyone to talk to about it all. Not because I don't have family and friends who love me but because this situation has been going on for years and years it's so boring for others (and myself now). So I've not said much about it. Just feel really lonely and sad.

Sorry to hear your finding things hard and it's a difficult decision to make so well done on getting this far!

My husband was served with a non molestation order 2 weeks ago. We have been separated for over 3 years but I'd had enough of the threats he constantly made and following me around etc.

Do you not qualify for legal aid? I work full time but with having children and claiming UC and due to the abusive nature of our relationship I did qualify for legal aid.

My solicitor didn't do a huge amount at the hearing tbh and didn't have to talk a lot as my evidence gave the majority of information that the magistrates needed to know. They asked me a questions and the solicitor just reiterated that I needed the order in place for my safety and mental well-being.

The solicitor also arranged to get him served with the order and the gentleman from the family court that served it was really helpful and communicated every step of the way. My stbxh works away a lot so it was hard to track him down but the gentleman was patient and spoke to me daily and served the papers eventually and told me once he had.

Brooklyn it's sounds very positive. Have you got another hearing? How long does the order last?

No we had two hearings and it was initially served without notifying him and they then have to have another hearing so he can raise any objections or changes. He threatened me the week leading up to the second hearing of how he was going to tear into me at the hearing and when he told his side of the story the magistrates would laugh at me and not grant the order etc. All just threats to try and make me not go ahead. Which in turn made me realise my decision to get one was the right thing. He then never even turned up to the second hearing!

The order lasts for an initial 6 months but can be extended if you feel it needs to be and can give your reasons to the court.

Thank you.

Court bailfts have been looking for him today, but no luck.

I'm totally stressed to the max. Court bailfts still haven't found him. It's now back with the judge for further direction!
I've got this dreadful feeling they won't be able to serve him and it will all be in vain.
I'm so fed up of it all it's been going on for years.

Sending many many hugs. Hiding from them won’t help him in any way fingers crossed for a sensible judge. I believe it can be served in absence ( by the judge) but not 100% sure

@TickingKey46 TickingKey46 · Yesterday 17:28

I'm totally stressed to the max. Court bailfts still haven't found him. It's now back with the judge for further direction!
I've got this dreadful feeling they won't be able to serve him and it will all be in vain.
I'm so fed up of it all it's been going on for years.

I haven’t read the entire thread, but I did comment earlier.

A non-mol can be served by text (we had to do that for my ex). Judge was entirely supportive, in fact it was his idea.

You can also have a police tag on your address/phone number which means an immediate blue light if he approaches your home.

Sorry, the reply thing doesn’t seem to work on my phone.

K4

They have tried other ways, such as phone, what's app and email, but non been successful.
I've had a pin on my family home before.
I have a date for the court hearing but really don't know what will happen if they are still unable to serve him.

That’s so difficult for you. If they can’t serve him, then you should ask for the pin anyway, so if he approaches you have immediate help. And obviously make sure you lock up properly when you’re in the house. The police can and will take this seriously and you will be ok.

Its not much comfort, I know.

I also think that even if not served, the fact you have applied for non mol means he can be arrested, even though it hasn’t been served.

If he’s homeless and a rough sleeper without a mobile phone, then he’s a lesser threat because he’s less capable of causing you harm.

Not that that’s a good thing, but you are in a stronger position than he is right now, so hopefully that can make you feel safer.

Even without the non mol the police will be with you in a moment because they (now) take DA very seriously, esp if he has previous.

I hope that helps.

K4
No that's not quite correct. Yes he's a homeless man but his mental instability, drug addiction and knowledge that he had nothing to loose, still makes him a threat. He blames me for his life going down the swany and has a lot of time to sit and think about it. He's also nomadic, which means he disappears and then re appears. It's very unsettling, for not just me but our children.

Tbh the police have been really poor, he's done some dreadful things but the police just really don't get it. I have little to no faith in them.

Can anyone please point me in the right direction? I've got a court date and am presuming this is to show why I need this order. So thinking I need to produce the evidenc and possible a statement? But there must be some guidelines for me to follow? At the moment I have nothing. Anyone able to point me in the right direction?

Mmmm So one week on they still haven't found him to serve the order. I know he's about as I've seen him!!
My McKenzie friend has had to drop out as she carn't get the time off work. Got a court date for next week, got the time off work for it but not really sure if it will go a head or not.
So far I'm really not sure if I've done the right thing I'm so so stressed out and tied of it all.

It sounds like he stalks you if you've seen him about

Can you serve it on him?

Has the order actually been served to him?

If you had an ex parte hearing then the order will be served to him by a court bailiff. In around 3 weeks there's usually a return hearing where he can contest or accept it. I imagine you'll need to produce a statement and exhibit all of your evidence.

@Whattodo112222 no it hasn't been served they can't find him.

So they have still not been able to serve him! Honestly its the only thing I really dreaded, worst thing is I've seen him but apparently the baliffs haven't!!
So it was done with out notice, so in theory it should have been easy!!. Baliffs hand him the court order then if he chooses not to attend court it wouldn't matter. But no!!!
I've still got a court hearing, but I'm unsure what will happen.
So so tired of all the bs. Part of me wishes I hadn't bothered applying.