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Original poster

He thinks I’m moving on too quickly

40 replies

Despyhw · 25/10/2023 10:47

I have been trying to make it work with my ex for about 6 months, we have been getting along, sleeping together but something happened and I realised I couldn’t trust him still. He ended it because I don’t trust him. We were never officially together

Anyway it’s been about 8 weeks since then, I have met a friend and have been going out of a weekend with him. Nothing has happened between us it, we have been out for drinks or games nights. My ex found out and said he can’t believe I would do this, I was telling him I loved him 2 months ago and now I’m meeting other men.

to me it seems quite innocent because I know I’m not over my ex, but I also know we will never work. I like this new guy, I have been friends with him for over 10 years. Is this too fast?

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 25/10/2023 10:49

None of your exes business

SaracensMavericks · 25/10/2023 10:50

It's a tricky one OP. It's none of your ex's business but on the other hand I can understand why he feels hurt. It's your choice though - he doesn't get to decide who or when you date.

Original poster
Despyhw · 25/10/2023 10:51

I understand why he feels hurt but he never wanted to
commit to me. He would make excuses and say he needed to know he was sure. It’s so crazy to me that he is worried about what I’m doing

OP posts:
Olika · 25/10/2023 10:52

Absolutely not. Don't waste your time giving any of your attention to your ex and note anything he says. Enjoy getting to know this other guy and see where it takes you. Smile

Ohdearwhatnow4 · 25/10/2023 10:52

Theirs no time limit to when it's right to move on, just be honest to all involved. I don't mean tell ex, you still love him or about your sex life. Tell the new bloke you've just came out of a relationship so would like to take things at a gentle pace but if you want to be exclusive make it clear. You don't owe your ex a explanation

MrsDaniFilth · 25/10/2023 10:54

What happened to make you stop trusting him?

DowntonCrabby · 25/10/2023 10:54

Block the ex, your life is none of his business now.

Original poster
Despyhw · 25/10/2023 11:00

He was cheating, years ago. I saw him scrolling through a long message with a girl. I made a comment, he got angry that I still don’t trust him and we made the decision to be done. I know it’s not his business but he said he always though I didn’t love him and me moving on quickly is proof of this

OP posts:
MrsDaniFilth · 25/10/2023 11:04

Despyhw · 25/10/2023 11:00

He was cheating, years ago. I saw him scrolling through a long message with a girl. I made a comment, he got angry that I still don’t trust him and we made the decision to be done. I know it’s not his business but he said he always though I didn’t love him and me moving on quickly is proof of this

so he cheated years ago - and you saw a recent message?

im confused here. I thought you decided? If you have both agreed its over, then whats the issue here? Just askin

MargotBamborough · 25/10/2023 11:27

Your ex might feel hurt but it's none of his business who you are seeing now.

CacenCaws · 25/10/2023 11:35

He doesn't get a say, none of his business

Shoxfordian · 25/10/2023 11:38

Nothing to do with him; if you haven’t then block him on any social media and don’t feel you need to answer questions about who you spend time with - if you don’t have kids then block him completely

Bonbon21 · 25/10/2023 11:39

None of his fecking business.
He doesnt get an opinion.
And he is an X for good reason .
Block him.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 25/10/2023 11:41

He can't have it all the ways. He was untrustworthy, wouldn't commit, so it ended. Now he still wants to call the shots? Sod that for a game of soldiers.

dudsville · 25/10/2023 11:46

Those are his feelings. It's weird he shared them with you though as they're nothing to do with your own chioces.

Bobbotgegrinch · 25/10/2023 11:52

Why does it matter what he thinks? He's an ex, block and move on. Hell, you weren't even really in a relationship with him.

The only one who can make decision on whether you're moving on too fast is you.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 25/10/2023 11:55

Despyhw · 25/10/2023 11:00

He was cheating, years ago. I saw him scrolling through a long message with a girl. I made a comment, he got angry that I still don’t trust him and we made the decision to be done. I know it’s not his business but he said he always though I didn’t love him and me moving on quickly is proof of this

Honestly you should block him why does your ex know who you're spending time with? Why are you expecting your messy situationship ex to be supportive of you moving on and meeting someone else? That's a stretch even for the most kind hearted of people

SpringleDingle · 25/10/2023 11:58

Block, delete, move on. Stop giving your ex headspace and stop communicating with him.

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/10/2023 12:01

Why on earth would you care?

RB68 · 25/10/2023 12:06

You were clear why it ended with him, he is trying to pick fault in your behaviour so he is not the bad guy. Reiterate " we are not together, at the moment y is just a good friend and helping me socialise again and its been 2 months not 5 minutes and it is no longer of his concern.

I would also check your phone for tracking and make sure he is blocked on anything that can give location away etc, keep a low profile till he stops being slightly stalkery and moves on himself.

NowYouSee · 25/10/2023 12:09

Tiny violin for the ex. He dumped you and has the audacity to complain that 2 months down the line you’re seeing other men? Give your head a wobble OP and block the ex.

LylaLee · 25/10/2023 12:11

RB68 · 25/10/2023 12:06

You were clear why it ended with him, he is trying to pick fault in your behaviour so he is not the bad guy. Reiterate " we are not together, at the moment y is just a good friend and helping me socialise again and its been 2 months not 5 minutes and it is no longer of his concern.

I would also check your phone for tracking and make sure he is blocked on anything that can give location away etc, keep a low profile till he stops being slightly stalkery and moves on himself.

Op doesn't need to explain anything.

That's acting as if she is answerable to him.

TotalOverhaul · 25/10/2023 12:17

Just because you loved him two months ago doesn;t mean you aren;t open to meeting new men. You have realised things about your ex which made you love and respect him less than you thought you did. Hence him being an ex. So who you date is none of his business.

Burntouted · 25/10/2023 12:22

You two have each been single and never been officially in an exclusive relationship...according to previous post and this one.

Sounds like the two of you need to leave each other alone permanently. Both of you seem to be playing games with one another.

Also perhaps both of you need to slow down and take some time navigating the world as single people instead of being involved romantically with anyone else...for the moment..focus on yourself.

If you two have never been officially together, he's never cheated on you, and you've never cheated on him.

A 10 year friendship with another guy that you've recently begun sleeping with??

If it's recent, are you just doing this to make the first gut jealous and perhaps make things official with you? Why did you share that information with him??

It's none of his business, nor yours who each is/ becomes involved with..unless it's an emergency effecting health.

Please leave each other alone. You two have been unhealthy involved with one another for a long time now. It's time for each of you to permanently let go.

Walnuthhwip · 25/10/2023 12:29

So?
why are you taking to him? He cheated on you and then dumped you. You’re no longer together and don’t have plans to be together. Unless you have children there’s no reason to talk to him again? If you do have children there’s no reason to talk about anything other than the children.

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