He thinks I’m moving on too quickly

[Despyhw]

I have been trying to make it work with my ex for about 6 months, we have been getting along, sleeping together but something happened and I realised I couldn’t trust him still. He ended it because I don’t trust him. We were never officially together

Anyway it’s been about 8 weeks since then, I have met a friend and have been going out of a weekend with him. Nothing has happened between us it, we have been out for drinks or games nights. My ex found out and said he can’t believe I would do this, I was telling him I loved him 2 months ago and now I’m meeting other men.

to me it seems quite innocent because I know I’m not over my ex, but I also know we will never work. I like this new guy, I have been friends with him for over 10 years. Is this too fast?

Do you have dcs with your ex?
If not, why are you still having so much contact?

From the little bit you’ve said, the relationship with your ex was dysfunctional. At the very least, it wasn’t going anywhere, or rather not in the direction you wanted - which was commitment.

Now that you’ve split up - fir good? - it’s time fir both of you to start living your life independently.
He has no rights to decide what is or isn’t ok to do with your life, who you meet etc….
You have no need to explain yourself to him.

As for whether he is right, and you ‘shouldn’t’ be going out/having sex with other men so soon… it depends on so many factors no one can tell you in here. Maybe it is a rebound, maybe he us just a friend, maybe you’ve actually bern ready for years but were lying to yourself thinking it could work with ex.

Regardless, your ex is tte last person who’ll be able to give you an impartial view on the situation.

I'd just agree with him and say yeah, perhaps you are right... oh well.

@Despyhw

Is he annoyed because you're seeing someone else before he's done so?

Whatever the reason, you two are no longer in a relationship so it's none of his business who you see or what you do, any more than you have any further stake in his life.

As others have said, block and delete. 🌹

Your ex is an idiot. Clearly he is the one that did not love you, to cheat in you and then dump you because you didn't trust him anymore. You also said he never wanted to fully commit to you.

The guy is playing games. He doesn't want you, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you because the attention is no longer on him. Hence why he's now going on about how you must not have really loved him.

This is not too fast at all to he moving on from your toxic relationship and finding someone who might treat you properly.

The only thing I'd say you're doing that isn't healthy is maintaining contact with your ex. Cut that cord and block him. He's only going to attempt to draw you back in so that he has your focus even though he doesn't want to he with you. You don't need that drama.

Well then by his same logic the fact he cheated is proof he never loved you either. I’d point that out to him and then block the stupid twat.

I'd laugh in his face, he has some nerve to dump you then tell you not to date other people.

However, what do you mean you were never official? You must have been if he cheated, and you broke up. It's also not great to still be sleeping together? Sounds like a messy situation, best to make a clean break.

Dear Ex, At least I had the courtesy to break up before I started seeing someone else. This is none of your business and certainly not a situation where you have the moral high ground. It's probably best for us both to cease all contact given our split.. Best of luck, x

According to op posts they were never in a relationship. They were never in an exclusive official relationship. They've been just casually seeing each other for awhile. Both have been single and having a dysfunctional dynamic between them.

Each of them seem to be playing games though...gaslighting and love bombing one another...and involving other innocent people in their games.

Op is probably trying to make him jealous in hopes of him officially committing and becoming exclusive with them.. also this tit for tac games...otherwise op wouldn't have mentioned it at all to him, and would have broken if off if they were truly ready to move on. Op seems to be involved with both men at the same time still.

They just need to leave each other alone.

This. None of his business.
He's just a controlling twat. Block him..

So he slept with someone else while you were together, but you dating someone else after you've split up is 'too soon'?

Double standards, much?

Why do you care what a lying, judgemental cheat thinks of you? That's the real question here. If I told you dating any sooner than 2030 was too soon, you'd dismiss my opinion. Why does his matter more to you?

The correct response to him is, "And, I should care why? We are no longer an item, I finished with you, therefore your opinion is of no interest to me."

There are a lot of correct responses. One of them is no response at all.

None of his business.

Block him.

His ego is bruised, thats all.

Why do you care what your ex thinks?
Why are you still talking to him, and telling him about your new relationship?
Trust your own opinions about those of the man who wouldn't commit to you and cheated on you.

He is saying you've moved on too quick becuase he hasn't found someone else.