Mess

[HappyAnonymous]

It’s complicated I will try to make sense….

1. been together a long time have a child and he has children’s from previous relationships. We were happy at first and had a child fast ( I now know it was to control me)
2. has been verbally abusive over the years always calling fat, spotty, cunt, useless etc
3. has cheated on me several times and been on dating sites but makes me feel like I cannot leave
4. I’m paranoid out of my mind I constantly question everything he does- but recently had a really strong feeling something was going on. Twice I have come him from a day out and he has made a huge Sunday roast with one plate left for me he was saying ‘this is the best dinner I’ve ever had it’s well better than yours I got a recipe offline’
5. I have know found out a girl has been coming round to my house when I’m not there and making the big Sunday roast he was trying to get me to eat. This girl is younger than me and has no children. He’s also told me when he told her has cheated on me in the past she said ‘if that was me I would just want you to tell me because then it’s not cheating’ and he’s using this against me like well that’s what other girls would be like and she also had a pregnancy scare.
6. I feel like it’s all my fault I either should have left but I was always so scared. He’s saying it’s my fault he has a high sex drive and I deprive him. I’m scared I’m going to leave and he will hve this girl pregnant straight away which affects my child.

please be kind to m

It's not possible to be sure it won't ever happen, it just won't with him. You'll be happy about this, in time. I understand you might not be that optimistic now, tho

So you have split up? I’m confused

But you’ve split up already? And he’s been staying at a hotel when it is your turn at the house. So wheels well and truly in motion?

@HappyAnonymous I'm not being argumentative I'm just pointing out that him having future kids is out of your hands and you shouldn't worry about that. I've already said get rid of him. How many children he goes on to create will not affect your daughter, she has you and it sounds like he's shit already

Wheels are in motion but I doubted myself over the weekend after being around him abit and I felt like it was my fault. I am miserable and i am constantly worrying about my weight/hating my body and not wanting to have sex. Barley making food at home and I felt like someone’s come in and down everything better than me. — stupid I know but I can’t help how my emotions make me feel. I should have left a long time ago I was just scared of him. And right now he doesn’t believe we are actually splitting up he thinks we can work through it if I can start to fulfil his sexual needs

@HappyAnonymous you need to
go and not look back, follow your plans don’t tell him your leaving just go with the support of woman’s aid this will be helpful for you for you to lean back on them, also fuck him and his needs.
The way he’s treated you he doesn’t get to tell you anything.
You can do this, keep going and don’t look back.

Thank you for the support everyone it’s made me feel stronger today

And right now he doesn’t believe we are actually splitting up he thinks we can work through it if I can start to fulfill his sexual needs.

@HappyAnonymous, does he actually believe you’ll do the pick-me dance after he’s treated you with utter contempt and disregard?

His abuse isn’t your fault. He’s a bullying misogynist who despises women, and he always will be. It doesn’t matter if OW cooks a nice roast. She’ll soon be on the receiving end of his toxicity, as will any woman he traps in his web.

Stop second guessing yourself and get out for good.

@HappyAnonymous How you feel isn't the least bit stupid, you're in an awful situation and its affecting how you feel. There's reasons why its hard to leave abusive situations, there has to be otherwise it wouldn't be as common as it is