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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Partner rang police

67 replies

Streets23 · 22/10/2023 00:56

I honestly do not know where to start here, my partner rang the police for the second time on me tonight I've not done anything wrong

OP posts:
KickHimInTheCrotch · 22/10/2023 06:12

If your partner is using the Police to intimidate and manipulate you they will likely see through it fairly quickly and not be very impressed. Possible crime of wasting police time. If there is more to this than you have said they will investigate the alleged assault.

If there are children in the house they will make an automatic referral to social services when called out for a domestic incident. Whatever the outcome. And they might remove one of you from the address for the night if no arrests are made.

catrescuelady · 22/10/2023 06:33

Get out of this relationship. Was he drunk? High on drugs? Seems like very strange behaviour

Gillypie23 · 22/10/2023 06:38

Your not telling is enough. If you've doneĝ nothing. The police won't take action.

crumblylancs · 22/10/2023 06:51

Gillypie23 · 22/10/2023 06:38

Your not telling is enough. If you've doneĝ nothing. The police won't take action.

Not true, if one person says they were hit and the other says they didn't do it, there's every chance the police will take positive action and arrest

SeatonCarew · 22/10/2023 06:53

Are there drugs involved in this tale somewhere along the line? Is that what the money lending is about?

Passepartoute · 22/10/2023 07:24

If the police came, I hope you told them he was throwing things at you as well as making up accusations about you?

FlamingoQueen · 22/10/2023 07:53

Did the Police come? This is seriously unhealthy - you need to leave. Are you safe to do so?

Hibiscrubbed · 22/10/2023 08:04

You need to start evidencing these fights by secretly recording them if you can do it safely.

He’s trying to destroy you. And you need to leave this awful man.

Watchkeys · 22/10/2023 08:08

Can you understand that someone who respected you wouldn't do this, @Streets23 ?

Lovemychair · 22/10/2023 08:09

Stripped him of his manhood? Sounds all very dramatic.

pandp · 22/10/2023 08:16

I think it's time to leave this relationship, why would you put yourself through this?

ApolloandDaphne · 22/10/2023 08:16

This all sounds very childish. Were you all drinking?

daisychain01 · 22/10/2023 08:18

Honestly, your household all need to grow up and stop wasting police time.

Times like this I feel sorry for the police having to deal with shit like this.

HappyMavis · 22/10/2023 08:19

Good to know where my taxes are going.

AgentJohnson · 22/10/2023 08:24

This is a toxic situation that you need to be out of. His behaviour didn’t come from nowhere and I suspect calling the Police is an escalation of an already unhealthy situation.

Noodlehen · 22/10/2023 08:28

I assume that you’re all pissed? Not enough context, story doesn’t make sense and posts in the middle of the night hours apart? Sleep it off.

Mulhollandmagoo · 22/10/2023 08:30

Leave. Seriously leave him, you will both be happier and safer apart.

Thewal · 22/10/2023 08:30

The most important thing in these situations is to tell the truth, tell everything and do not deviate. Don’t miss anything out. The list will often change their story, embellish or make mistakes with small details and it will be obvious.

Then you need to leave and have no contact. And probably quit drinking.

Imagwine · 22/10/2023 08:36

You need to leave and tell the police your side of the story. But leave so you aren’t in this position again.

Baconisdelicious · 22/10/2023 08:49

Please leave. It won't get better. He is trying to destroy you.

TUCKINGFYP0 · 22/10/2023 09:06

AgentJohnson · 22/10/2023 08:24

This is a toxic situation that you need to be out of. His behaviour didn’t come from nowhere and I suspect calling the Police is an escalation of an already unhealthy situation.

This. Please listen to the wise advice here and make plans to leave him.

Hapshepsut · 22/10/2023 09:10

whos home are you in? If its his then leave now, if it is yours, he needs to leave

SJP306 · 22/10/2023 09:15

My abusive ex partner used to do this. He'd say I'd hit the kids, hit him. The list was endless. He'd also ring them back 5 minutes later and say he'd got it wrong, of course they still come and saw nothing had happened. He got a fine in the end for wasting police time and was used as evidence in the end for womens aid and the courts to protect ME from him and his violence. If this is the case with you please get help and leave him.

Starlightstarbright2 · 22/10/2023 09:15

Assuming all true .. you need to leave ..

You can’t live somewhere you are been accused of assault.

it sounds to me he is setting you up to leave and if you have kids not safe with him .

Original poster
Streets23 · 22/10/2023 09:22

The police did come out, and could see nothing happened. We live in a rented house and it's a joint tenancy so it's not as easy as just leave. Although I am going to speak with my cousin today and see if I can stay there for a few days so we're not in the same house together

OP posts: