I've never had a liking for my mil, she was a red flag from the start, before me and my husband even got married. We wanted a simple wedding but she did loads of drama then and basically said that if we didn't pick a fancy venue she wouldn't come. She wants luxury when she can't afford it.
She's a very cunning and sly woman, who knows how to play games and get things her way. She visited us recently, after we gave birth to our first child. She stayed with us for 2 months and made life hell for me. She would bitch about me to my husband, tell him I was not doing things right and need to keep the house in perfect order. I had just given birth and was recovering from a long labour as well as, having a rocky start with breastfeeding. She would observe every little thing I did, from the way I held a spoon to the way I ate and bathed my baby. She would ask me to hurry up and not be so slow. She would keep passing comments and interfere in everything. She overheard my conversations with my husband and interfered there too.
To make matters worse, she would come running into my room while I was breastfeeding and take my baby away if she heard her crying. I struggled to bond with my child and because of her constant interference and taunts, I started thinking I wasn't doing a job as a mom. She suggested I express for 2 days and feed my baby to see how much milk I produce and that's when things went downhill. My milk supply dropped because of the lack of skin to skin contact and me getting stressed out and nervous with this woman on my head all the time. I hated every minute I spent with her.
To make matters worse, she bitched about me to her friends, her other daughter-in-law who she adores because she comes from a rich family and talks very sweetly with her and other family members. We had some guests visiting and she put me down infront of them too.
She tries to walk all over me because she knows I'm weak. She's a bully and I've got bitter experiences from being bullied in school. My confidence and self esteem is at an all time low, I'm experiencing depression again. Thank goodness she's gone but she intends to come back in a few months (she lives in another country). I've had nightmares or me screaming at her and telling her to leave me alone. She has me traumatized, I absolutely despise her. She's an arrogant, egoistic person who thinks everything she does and knows is right. I find her sheer ignorance very frustrating and would not like her presence around me or my daughter. She has the audacity of telling a newborn 'your mother is dumb she knows nothing' or ' you're grandma's kid not your mom's '. I've had enough, I was quiet and putting up with her shit to avoid conflict but won't be doing so anymore. I need a way out.
She's very cunning and won't do it in front of my husband.
How would you address a woman like that and how would you ensure you child does not see/meet her often?