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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

We’ve inherited a dog, what to do?!

65 replies

Butterfly944 · 13/10/2023 12:15

My mother in law passed away suddenly leaving my partner with her 2 year old dog.
It’s been two months now & I thought we were going to re-home him but my partner wants to keep it. The only problem is I really dislike the dog and am always cleaning up after it.
He has terrible habits and dribbles everywhere. I just feel like I can’t cope in my own home with this large dog who’s constantly in the way.
My partner feels like he has to keep him because of his mum but I also feel like I’m at breaking point. I never wanted a dog and especially not this breed or with the health problems it has. The financial impact it’s had it’s ridiculous.

Has anyone experienced this before??

OP posts:

Tilllly · 14/02/2024 06:59

Zombie thread

GanninHyem · 14/02/2024 07:07

Too early? @Luckycloverz it's been 4 months since the original thread 🤣

@NotAgainWilson you want some advice? Read the timestamps on threads before berating an OP.

NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 14/02/2024 07:12

I would definitely tell DP that keeping the dog is contingent on him cleaning up after it and taking it to some intensive behavioural classes. If he’s not interested then he can take the dog elsewhere.

NotAgainWilson · 14/02/2024 07:46

GanninHyem · 14/02/2024 07:07

Too early? @Luckycloverz it's been 4 months since the original thread 🤣

@NotAgainWilson you want some advice? Read the timestamps on threads before berating an OP.

Read them yourself, I have read them before posting, you are probably focusing your thoughts on the responses only.

I was not berating her, just exposing the likely outcome. Very narrow minded of you to think that everyone you disagree with is berating the op

Personally, I sympathise with her, if my partner landed me with a unwanted cat, I would be exactly in the very same dilemma and considering getting rid of cat and even partner if he insisted. 😁

Luckycloverz · 14/02/2024 10:20

GanninHyem · 14/02/2024 07:07

Too early? @Luckycloverz it's been 4 months since the original thread 🤣

@NotAgainWilson you want some advice? Read the timestamps on threads before berating an OP.

Lol baby brain and super early morning!

Hope the dog is settled now 🤞🏻

NotAgainWilson · 14/02/2024 12:12

Jesús, I have no baby and therefore no excuse! 🤣🤣🤣

FinallyFeb · 14/02/2024 18:53

Tell your DH to take the dog to doggy school or whatever it’s called and tell him he’s got to do all the tidying up etc. Give him three months to get the dog manageable, if he doesn’t then you’ll have to reassess your relationship and living arrangements.

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 14/02/2024 21:42

user1492757084 · 14/10/2023 07:04

Can you try for a time by making the dog an out door dog. Have a warm kennel and a dog run in the yard. Then the size of the dog and the dribbling will not matter so much. Book the dog into obedience classes and agree that your partner will be the walker and clean up any mess.
An outdoor dog will suit the cats too.

Fucking awful advice. Please don't do this.

Dogs need to be with their humans. It's cruel to leave them alone outside.

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 14/02/2024 21:48

Tilllly · 14/02/2024 06:59

Zombie thread

Ah shite that's the second time tonight!

AngryBookworm · 14/02/2024 21:53

This sounds really tough OP. Agree with others that the best thing is to get on with some training - and while it may not seem fair that you have to do it, it's something you can do that you have control over. And then you can say that you've given the dog a chance, whatever happens. Good luck!

ClareBlue · 14/02/2024 22:21

How often do partners get pets and dump the caring needs to the, usually, women at home.
I don't even think grief is an excuse to do this, but if it really is part of his grieving process then he should take on full responsibility to train the dog and meet it's needs. The dog isn't his mum and isn't an actual connection to the after life either. It's a dog that wasn't trained properly and lived in the same house as his mum. Expecting your partner to clean up shit and be stressed in her own home and the established pets to be terrorised because of his grieving process is seriously unreasonable.
It seems that some people think grief trumps everything. It doesn't.

LuisVitton · 15/02/2024 08:01

Zombie

Brendabigbaps · 15/02/2024 08:06

Butterfly944 · 13/10/2023 18:04

Thanks for the advice everyone.
It’s just a hard time in general but the dog is adding to the stress right now. I’ve tried everything to try and enjoy having him but he can be very naughty for me but not my partner.
I agree it’s too soon to discuss but just finding it hard at the moment.
Hes never been to puppy classes or had any real social interaction as he was at home with MIL all day. He was never really walked so won’t walk with us which can be a pain as when he wants to go home he will just sit down and not move which I find so stressful.
My partner at the moment doesn’t see anything wrong with having him but we also have two cats who are still trying to adjust to having a dog in the house. One cat is loosing fur to the stress and the dog is constantly eating there food even though I’ve put it high up & out of the way 😱
I think either way one of us will resent the other if we keep/rehome the dog.

Is he a basset by any chance?

GoodbyeTV · 15/02/2024 08:09

Can you quietly ask around locally - start with the vets for a new home.
If you found a suitable MIL type figure who'd just lost her dog, it could be the best thing for the dog and her. The dog gets a quiet, lazy home with full attention just like your mil provided because the guilt of not providing that to mils dog must also be hard.

GoodbyeTV · 15/02/2024 08:11

Stupid Zombie thread!!!
What happened @Butterfly944 still got the dog?

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