I started to do it online almost 2 years ago but life was so chaotic then, I didn't really pay much attention to it.
For various reasons, I also remained in the same relationship. I am not out of that relationship and start the freedom programme in person as part of a group tomorrow. This is part of a women's charity that I've been working with and I've done various courses through them before.
I'm really looking forward to starting it but I have one huge worry. I will think that it doesn't apply to me. That my relationship wasn't as bad as some of the other women's will appear to be. I'm worried that it won't help. I don't see myself as a victim. He wasn't physically violent to me (though he had been in a few fights with other men I suppose), he never did anything like call me nasty names. He never even really shouted at me.
It was more silent treatment, control, manipulation, accusations and paranoia. Shouting at me when I was at my most vulnerable (pregnancy, after child birth, when my mental health wasn't great etc). He was also a gambling addict - but I'd even say that wasn't bad because he never left us with no money.
I know full well that in the group session tomorrow, if there's a lovely lady there talking about how her abusive relationship was full of violence etc, then I will think 'well mine isn't as bad as that, I shouldn't be here'
I don't think it helps that I started it online and didn't feel much of it related to me.
Has anyone ever done it and found similar? How did you find your experience?