My husband has had a porn addiction for years and years. Only found out when we got married (we are religious so were waiting for marriage) three years ago.
It hasn't gotten better at all.
He would watch it a couple of times a day, for one to two hours.
He would also watch it at work.
He got in serious trouble once.
I would say porn and self pleasuring is his business, but it's at a point where he replaces me with sex, gives me sex very rarely and more often than not turns me down or postpones for later and then says he is tired/has forgotten/etc...
He always says he is serious about stopping, installs filters on his phone, only to deactivate them or bypass them. I helped him find therapy (sex addict anonymous), but he will only go if I keep insisting for weeks and weeks when it gets to a point where it becomes irritating, and then he'll attend one session and not again for 2 months and the circle repeats itself. He won't do it of his own will. He will say he will but then stops mentioning it and tells me he was too busy or didn't have time when I bring it up.
We have had a child and my body is not the same anymore. I went from 103 pounds for 5'3' to 123 pounds. His rejection of me makes me feel worse about it all (especially since I had anorexia for a few years).
We are 26 and we got married at 23. So I feel like things will only get worse for me in his eyes as I age and as our marriage progresses.
He used to be so cuddly and touchy with me when we were dating. It's like a flip switched during marriage and I feel like I have disappointed him and he had higher expectations, but I don't know what to do?
I offered to do whatever kink he had, I offered to spice things up, but he just wants, in his own words, something simple and vanilla. I also offered to only please him whenever he wanted it so he didn't find the obligation to please me in return, just so that he would watch less pornography, but nothing worked.
He watches all sorts of porn, including manga porn, and I can't help but feel defeated by the fact that he rejects me to go watch cartoons the same day, however judgmental that may sound.
He also doesn't want me to watch any kind of porn as it is not "religiously allowed" in his own words. He understands the hypocrisy but says he can't help it and doesn't want to drag me into it.
So in the meantime I'm just sat around frustrated waiting for him to make a move and I feel it disheartening and off-putting even.
What do I do? I feel like I've tried everything.