Is there any way I could possibly have ’casual’ dates/dating, without having to have sex?

[DidIMissOut]

Don’t laugh! Please.
Although you already may have.

So, here’s tl thing I don’t want to have sex, I won’t go yo details, don’t worry. But vecause of that, no one has ever wanted a relationship with me.
And I was just wondering that if there was some other ways, yo have some ’needs’ met.
So, we’d still go on some dates, sit closely to watch a movie, make dinner, spend time just the two of us without hurry, to have that closeness and intimicy.
There’s just si much that is mussing in my life and it’s making me unhappy.

I know this is most likely stupid thing for most people, but I’m just wondering….

I think you must have found some odd "asexual" sites , because the word asexual means a person who experiences no sexual feelings or desires, or who is not sexually attracted to anyone.

If you found a site where people were talking about how they have sex, they were obviously not asexual . Maybe you need to have another look .

A proportion of asexuals online seem to interpret asexuality as anything other than having the permanent horn so I’m not surprised by your experience, op.

Do you mean an asexual dating site or a chat group/ reddit type thing?

Some asexual folk will have sex, zero interest but a neutral experience. Some would find it very upsetting and sex is a hard 'no'. People are different. So I'm not sure the site you've been on is very helpful if they are trying to conflate everyone's wishes.

Have you tried any asexual dating sites where you get to state your preferences and people can either express an interest or swipe past? If not, i think that would be a good step rather than the discussion board you mention as that doesn't sound very helpful. There may be other, more informative support groups too.

Reddit subs for asexuality, Aven, facebook pages that were for asexuals.

All said the same, asexuals can and do have sex, many enjoy it, many threads were about kink & stuff in that nature.
There was the ’no sexual attraction’ mentioned, but that it foesn’t mean they don’t like sex or have it for their prtners sake.
And that those who don’t have sex, are just ’celibate’.
Apperently not having attraction doesn’t negotiate having sex.

They did seem to be very young people, so that could explain it, and also the readon why someone at my ripe age should stay away.

Trust me, I’ve had many looks, until I gave up (and was banned).

If you are not into sex, you are not into sex, there is nothing wrong with you. I am sure you could find someone like yourself, who wants emotional intimacy without the physical act. I would have thought there was sites for this because this is more common than people might think.

Some asexual people, particularly young people, may have sex because they feel pressured into it, because they're worry there is something wrong with them, because they think they will 'learn to like it' etc. In the same way some gay young people may feel pressured into sleeping with opposite sex partners etc.

But that doesn't mean there aren't asexual people living the life that you want. Sign up to some dating sites and state your wants/needs clearly.

It's just ginding someone but they do exist. There are so many threads on here where the man doesn't want sex and this needs yo be more well known and admitted by them in the beginning.
Because otherwise we have this image of all men being dogs on heat.

This

Try some other sites, the one you were on sounds odd

Men tend to want sexual intimacy rather than emotional IME.
Maybe try looking for someone asexual.

https://celibatepassions.com/

Try a celibacy site, OP. You can but try, and I do hope you find someone of the the same mind as you.

Asexual literally means no interest in sez or desire to have sex.

And just like on regular OLD dating sites where there are pervs and people who tell you what you do/don't want to hear to get what THEY want, you'll get the same type of people of asexual sites trolling, casting their net, whatever, in the hope they will be the saviour that changes your mind. The thrill of the chase/challenge.

You just have to hone your bullshit detector, trust it, and dismiss the morons.

What we we that group told you is wrong @DidIMissOut

asexual is literally the dictionary definition of no sexual feelings etc.

I have friends that are asexual and some couples.

look for other groups and forums. Keep trying.

You haven’t had any joke answers.

The only feasible answer is to look on asexual dating sites, and the small pool plus the other filters you will presumably want to apply (age, looks, job, etc) will make this almost impossible for you, I'm afraid.

These are the asexuality subreddits and they’re not like you describe, at all:

www.reddit.com/r/Asexual/

www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/

And there are dozens of asexual dating apps. It may be a hard slog, but that’s because online dating is often a hard slog - whether you’re asexual or not.

I really feel like you’ve posted before, as the insistence that asexuals have sex and that you’d tried all avenues. You clearly haven’t. Why is that?

You haven’t had any joke answers.
Comments like that’s just friendship and look for men over 60 came off that way, and I just didn't mocking things like that.

@TheCatterall I just have to ask ; hiw do you know so many asexuals? i’ve never (that I know of) met anyone else.
And this way too personal, but do you know does the one’s couple have to, you know….
It’s just that when I lurked around in thise sites, the only one’s who had partners did do it.

@UseOfWeapons
Million thanks for the link, I’ve been looking through it.

@LusaBatoosa Yes, I know those subs, one of them is the one I’m banned from for my question and also the place were I was told I’m not asexual, because asexuals don’t have a ’problem with having sex’.

I know that Feeld, for one, has a lot of sexuality options and asexual may be one of these. Does OKCupid have it as an option?

In any event, whatever a label means to you, you can describe in the profile in more detail.

If you had a partner who had sex with someone else, would you want him/her to have only romantic feelings towards you and not them? Or would you be happy with them having romance with more people too?

@DidIMissOut I’m self employed and in my business communities there are many openly pan and asexual people.

one of my main clients is asexual. They met their OH through a hobby and whilst they must have had sex to have their child-they are pretty open about being asexual on the whole.

I think there are many men with a low sex drive and many men in relationships who don’t want sex with their partner or men who start off having sex then don’t bother. I don’t think that’s the same as what you want though sorry.

Can you go on a dating site and say you are only looking for friends?

What was your question?

I’m looking at the subs right now and they are quite clearly nothing like you’re describing. So, have you decided what they’re like based on what one or two unpleasant people may face said to you?

And my point about the apps?

I honestly didn't mean look for men over 60 as a joke and I apologise if it was taken that way. At the time you hadn't stated your age. I stated it because I feel that for some people as they get older their sexual desires decrease so you're more likely to find an older man looking for a 'companion' than a man in his 30s. Although at the time I posted, I hadn't considered asexuals. I do have a male friend that is asexual in his 30s. They are out there.

Yes there are and yes it's slightly different as they might want occasional sex.

Reddit is an absolute cesspool, I belong to it for gaming and also history groups.