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Original poster

DH takes random photos of me

37 replies

Lialii · 05/10/2023 15:55

I discovered today that in the last few months my DH has been taking photos of me without my knowledge. We share our Google Photos with each other, but I don't often look at his unless I'm looking for some particular picture.

Not pervy ones when you search for this topic online you'll find lots of DHs who secretly take half naked photos etc just me doing random things. Working on the computer, playing the piano, lying on the sofa looking at my phone, etc. One was of me sleeping, that's maybe a little creepy (but fully dressed etc).

I should add that I'm currently very pregnant, and often don't want to pose for photos as I just feel huge and bla.

I don't know how I feel about the photos, I'm a bit weirded out. Is it weird? Is it cute? Maybe he wants to document the pregnancy, but knows that I wouldn't pose for a photo if he asked? He didn't do this with my first pregnancy though.

OP posts:
DontGiveMeThatOldCrap · 05/10/2023 15:56

He obviously likes the way you look

DustyLee123 · 05/10/2023 15:57

Strange. Particularly as it’s a new thing.

Maplestars · 05/10/2023 15:58

I’d think it was nice, negative thoughts wouldn’t cross my mind but my dh is nice.
the fact you’re a bit uncomfortable with it indicates there’s more to the story here?

uhOhOP · 05/10/2023 16:00

I take lots of pictures of my partner, including a lot of silly and a lot of unposed pictures. Most of the time she's aware. I just like taking pictures of her :)

BoohooWoohoo · 05/10/2023 16:01

Did you ever see the Friends episode where Chandler can't pose for a photo? That's me. I only look decent in photos if I don't know my photo is being taken.

I understand why you might feel mixed emotions about the pics especially considering how you feel right now but I think that it sounds like he loves the way that you look.

HarrietStyles · 05/10/2023 16:05

I think it’s lovely. He must really love you and enjoys seeing your pregnancy bump and wants to document it. Maybe he realised that you don’t have many pregnancy photos from your first child, so wants some this time.

SoRainbowRhythms · 05/10/2023 16:05

I've got tons of pictures like that of DH. I think he looks nice in the moment and I want to capture it. Same for him. We don't find it creepy or weird.

FadeAwayAndRadiate · 05/10/2023 16:06

My husband does this occasionally and I fucking HATE it. Sometimes on day trips he takes pictures of me from a bit of a distance.... Bending over, stooping, pictures from side etc. Horribly unflattering. I'm three or four stone overweight, so they're fucking grim.

He knows I absolutely hate having photographs taken when I'm not posing for them, I think it's intrusive, and I think someone taking photos of you - when you don't know they are being taken, is rude ... Especially WHEN YOU HAVE SPECIFICALLY TOLD THEM NOT TO DO IT! I think it's borderline controlling and manipulative .. .... And I absolutely fucking hate it. DH rarely does it, but he does do it occasionally, and it pisses me off. I don't do it to him!

I can't believe anybody is okay with people, (even their own husband,) taking random pictures of them when they're not ready for it/don't know they're being taken. When they've got no makeup on, and no hair done, and the pics are unflattering angles, like taken sideways on (which is a very unflattering pose for anyone.)

You're not being unreasonable @Lialii . It really pisses me off and I think I would just carry a camera with me and just take pictures of him wherever he is, take pictures of him on the shitter, in the shower, half naked, the most unflattering pics possible, and put them on social media.

SpringleDingle · 05/10/2023 16:11

He wants to record your pregnancy just doing normal things… or that’s how I’d see it. Cute!

AgnesX · 05/10/2023 16:13

My DH has never taken pics of me. We have a few from very early on.

I hate the way I look but when I now look back to family pics I realise I was actually better looking than I thought... bit late in the day really.

muddyford · 05/10/2023 16:14

I took some of my mother concentrating on making a cake, peeling potatoes, leaning against a kitchen unit drinking a mug of coffee. All lovely, unposed reminders.

headcheffer · 05/10/2023 16:14

Oh that's cute Smile he obviously wants to capture these moments even if you're not feeling yourself right now, you might appreciate them in times to come. If you don't like it though maybe mention it to him?

Mrsttcno1 · 05/10/2023 16:15

I also can’t see anything wrong with this at all and DH & I both do this to each other, it means that actually we have photo albums full of images that show us living our life, they’re a lot more interesting to look back at actually than if every photo we had was of us perfectly dressed, made up and posing. Photos like this actually capture a genuine moment where posed photo’s don’t. X

Cowlover89 · 05/10/2023 16:17

I think its cute

Original poster
Lialii · 05/10/2023 16:19

Thanks everyone for the input! I guess it's just weird stumbling upon a bunch of pictures of yourself that you didn't know were being taken!

But I agree with most of you that it's probably just him wanting to record the moment, or liking the way I look in a particular situation. Perhaps like we do with our daughter, I often take pictures of her doing random things because I want to remember the moment.

@HarrietStyles It's true that we hardly have any photos from my first pregnancy. To the point that, when we were at the hospital, I asked him to take a few pictures there and then because I wanted to be able to remember how big my bump was lol. (It was much smaller than it is this time!)

@FadeAwayAndRadiate e Oh wow, if you've asked your DH not to do that, and he keeps doing it, I'd be pissed as well. That's not ok! But I have not told DH not to do it, and the pictures he takes are not particularly unflattering, and he's not shared them with anyone afaik.

OP posts:
amiold · 05/10/2023 16:22

I'm due in two weeks. I don't think my partner has took a photo of me since may. I've barely any photos of being pregnant and although I'd probably hate them it does make me feel a bit sad. I've started over the last month taking pics myself which isn't the same. It makes me feel a bit crap but 🤷‍♀️ what can you do.

I think he just wants to look back and remember and it's nice.

JFDIYOLO · 05/10/2023 16:22

Sounds nice - like he wants memories of this pregnancy that you don't have from the last time.

But obviously I'd be taking pics of him unawares too.

StopLickingTheDog · 05/10/2023 16:22

Are you sure it's him? I have loads of photos like me. They're taken by my 4 year old on his kindle fire kids thing which is linked to my accounts

OnedayTwodays · 05/10/2023 16:28

Yeah, I wouldn’t like that either.
Like having a stalker in your own home, creepy.
Could never relax.

RayofSunshine18 · 05/10/2023 16:28

As a mum, I am always the one behind the camera not the one taking the photos.

I am not a huge fan of the way I look either, so don't often get in the photos myself. BUT my daughter and my OH do love the way I look and my OH tends to take some photos of me unaware when I am looking natural and not posed because, quite simply, I wont take them myself and he likes to have photos of me. I think it's sweet actually.

I think perhaps if there is something that makes you feel uncomfortable about someone who loves you taking candid photos of you, perhaps ask yourself why?

JIMMI85 · 05/10/2023 16:33

I think it's lovely, and very sweet. Quite often natural pics look so much better than posed pics and given you are pregnant its something for you both to look back on and cherish. I've done it before and my OH wasn't freaked out when i told her, although she draws the line when she's asleep!

Sundance03 · 05/10/2023 16:33

I couldn't tell you the last time DH took a pic of me. Although am not very good looking/ photogenic so maybe that explains it😊 He must think you look lovely and wants to document/remember it all.

Sundance03 · 05/10/2023 16:36

Actually now I've thought about this am actually pissed off now that DH has never attempted to take a pic of me🤔.... I'll be asking him why tonight

BubziOwl · 05/10/2023 16:36

Is he active on social media? I've seen a fair few IG reels and TikToks encouraging men to take pictures of their partners during pregnancy and in the early years with the children. A lot of women find they have loads of photos of their children and of their husband and their children, but none of them. So the thought is that it is thoughtful for men to return the favour.

Could that be where he's coming from, trying to make sure you're included in the memories? and if so, can he have a word with my husband who only will take awkward posed photos of me

Nonplusultra · 05/10/2023 16:41

I love unposed photos. Sometimes I’ll take a picture of dh or the dc when they’re concentrating intently and the light falls a certain way and they just look heartstopping (to me) in that moment.

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