ideas for wedding on an extreme budget

[ScarletA]

I took my my dp of 10 years out to dinner on Feb 29th and asked him to marry me and he said yes.... All very romantic .

However, now the reality of it all is dawning on us - how expensive are weddings???!!!

It seems that even if you do it really simply, it costs £3-4K. We don't have anything like that kind of money and will have to ask my Mum or get a loan (eek). So I wonder if any of you out there have some good advice about how to do things without spending a fortune.

We will do registry office but have lots guests (more than 60 when we'd totalled it all up - dp has enormous family and I have lots of friends). The biggest cost will be in feeding all these people and their kids and finding a place to do it all.

Any ideas?

The BEST wedding I have ever been to was a friend who was really broke. The decided on a themed wedding of Medieval and requested that all the guests brought something suitable for the banquet following the ceremony. It was AMAZING!!! Everyone dressed up and made the effort and nobody minded bringing some food/alcohol. They paid to hire a large room but it was really cheap.

Yes, village/church hall and "penny wedding" as mmelody describes - loads of fun, people love getting involved and often great food. Find friends who have nice flowers in their gardens for decoration, someone who can bake to do a simple cake (decorated with said flowers) or just a huge stack of fairy cakes. We didn't have favours but a big basket of home-made gingerbread men and women. These are often the best weddings, and everyone remembers them.

Congratulations
A register office is the cheapest way, could you not cut down the guest list to fit people in.
You don't need to spend anything like 3-4k, a buffet is much cheaper than a sit down meal, hiring a hall where you clean up yourselves (or ask obliging friends& family) will be cheaper, or a nice pub as a venue,shop around for outfits.

We had no flowers,cars,photographers as I just felt it was a total waste of money and we wanted a new kitchen instead.
The cost will really depend on the type pf wedding you want and how much you are prepared to compromise on that idea.

Ours cost about £500 in total and we had a great day and great photos that our guests took and made copies of for us.

We were broke when we married. Also had a medevial feast where each guest braught a plate and there was a pay bar.
Some of our guests had special skills so we asked if they would be ok to "give" us that special skill as a wedding present - photographer, florist and dress were all covered off this way. My dress was not a traditional gown - more like a more conservative party dress.
And we grew our own flowers - in our own garden, in friends gardens and allotments and in pots.
Many said it was the best wedding they ever went to - it was great - not formal or fancy but really, really fantastic - each "guest" felt like they made a contribution.

I went to a wedding where some of the guests (not all, just the ones who lived near) brought the food for a buffet, and it was just as nice as professionally catered things and in some ways a lot nicer.

Can't your families' contibution be the food? Ask them all to bring something and what ever they would like to drink.
Ebay or oxfam dress if you're doing gown. Friend takes photos.
Hire church hall for reception - nice for kids to run around in.
Bake your own cake.
Make the honeymoon (if you even have one) your annual family holiday.
Decorate who ever has the best car with ribbons.Decorate the hall with lots of ballons, flowers from the garden on tables. wedding magazines have lots of make your own favours features.
Bridesmaids - ask them all to wear similar colour dresses and add your own matching sash and flowers in their hair.
You can make your own tiara with a hairband, wire and beads.

Congratulations

Because we didn't need wedding presents, people were only to happy to do a bit for our wedding, Auntie did the cake, my friend paid for the flowers, my eldest daughter made ballon table decorations and balloon arches for the hall. Dh's parents paid for the food (buffet) and my parents paid for our honeymoon, it seemed everyone contributed something towards the day and that made it more special for us all.

Enlist your close friends to do tasks that they are good at - photography, cake making, flower arranging, musicians(or for instance, if it a spring wedding buy daffodils or seasonal flowers and put small bunches on the tables rather than paying for expensive floral arrangements etc) buy your dress second hand or somewhere like monsoon where it will be beautiful, but still affordable. Design your own invitations on some nice paper.

I like mmelody's recommendation of a banquet or something similar - or really buck the trend and if you are planning a summer wedding have a big barbeque with salads etc outside (if you have some garden space).

Or you could organise a big wedding picnic somewhere beautiful, like a park or something...

We did our 'reception' as a picnic in nearby English Hertitage garden. Everyone brought their own food and outdoor games and we supplied cake (that DH, DD and I made ourselves - very gooey chocolate!!) and bubbly.
Fantastic day and when it threatened to rain we all went into one of the follies and carried on there

I got my dress from ebay and we didn't have flowers, photos or a cake - am still married though!!

My friends hired a church hall and asked everyone to bring a plate of food instead of a present. It worked really, really well (and of course they got loads of presents as well as food) and was a fantastic wedding.

Instead of a photographer get friends to take photos with disposable cameras that way you get lots of photos for a fraction of the cost.

Can you book a restaurant for afterwards and everyone pays for there own meal.

Or get friends to help.

if you live near Manchester Im selling my wedding dress for £100

its ivory, size 12/14 strapless and gorgeous

Depends if you want a traditional wedding dress. You could buy a suit and add your own accessories.

My wedding was very cheap and spur of the moment (we decided on the Monday and got married on the Thursday!).

PILs have a big house on a large plot so we had an evening reception there. We had caterers come in but kept it very simple-just big buffet trays of a lamb stew, cauliflower cheese, potatoes, chicken pieces and rice and then big bowls of salad. We set tables up outside but it was mainly PIL's friends and family who sat there, our friends just milled around. We had champagne for a toast and then just loads of bottles of wine and beer that people helped themselves to. We got it all from a wholesalers on sale or return basis so it was pretty cheap-they also provided the glasses.

It was all very informal and everyone had a good time-we didn't have speeches, just a quick prayer, a welcome by FIL and a thank you by DH.

It was in Botswana so prices not really relevant, and of course we had the benefit of good weather allowing us to have it outside! I think it is more important for everyone to have a good time than to try and fit a weddingy mould but it depends on how important the details are to you-some people want the dress, flowers etc to be perfect, others just want everyone to get pissed!

Disposable cameras on tables are a good way to get lots of pictures, and you'll end up with picture of the real party, not just formal shots.

Candles are good cheap centrepieces for tables, and that shiny confetti stuff scattered over tables can make them look pretty at very little cost.

Lots of places offer free venue hire if you buy the meal from them and have a cash bar-saves having to pay for food+drink+venue.

I know this isn't much but large tesco's hire out glasses for free, all you need to do is leave a deposit and return them washed. They come in crates that stack and were a life saver a dd christening.

Community centres usually can be hired quite cheaply and they are usually near a park so great for the kids.
These people make dresses in china and are really cheap, I think some mumnetters have used them before.

Firstly, you don't need to invite everyone that you think you need to. If you keep it really small, then that is your excuse for teh sniffly people who think they should have got an invitation.

Don't pay for the alcohol at all - that really tots up!

Don't bother with a photographer, get someone you know who is good with a camera toset up a few formal ones, and I agree with someone else that disposible cameras on teh tables works well - make sure you add a little note to tell people to hand them to hte best man or something so they dont take em home!

Other thing you could do is just have an evening party - i.e. no food. You could get married, have a really small meal out iwth just parents/kids and best man/bridesmaid etc. Then a disco type thing in teh evening in local town hall or the like.

Get your dress out of BHS or Monsoon or something - OR go for soemthing more unconventional - i.e. not white, or a trouser suit ro soemthing. Soemthing yo could potentially wear again. Do you know

Keep flowers simple too - they cost a fortune if you get the poncy ones. If you know someone with a nice garden, depending on time of year, ask them to make your bouquets - basic bunch of flowers wrapped ina ribbon - nothing too flash.

Make your own veil/tiara if you are any good at crafts. If not, borriow or buy. Same applies to the wedding dress actually - borrow from a friend.

Cake - buy out of marks and spencers and go into hobby craft for little flowers etc to decorate.

My wedding cost under £10k and I don't really regret it as it was lovely. But TBH, if I was doing it again, I would just go for a small meal and big party in the evening. That si what we do wtih christenings.

DONT get into debt for it. Its better to save up and do it cheap than be paying for it for years. That was the best decision that I made (we waited til we could pay it all - my parents also contributed too)

Do you know anyone witha nice garden? For your pics. And anyone with a nice car who could shauffeur you for hte day as a favour.

I like plain things, so the above ideas would suit my taste, but if you want to go all out (i.e. big white wedding style - then the secret is definately second hand where possible).

A good site - not sure if still running is confetti.com

Have a look at the weddings forum on martin Lewis' moneysaving website....loads of ideas there

I wasn't on a budget but wanted a small and simple wedding. We got married in a church, wasn't terribly expensive. We drove ourselves, bil took video, photos etc. We had the reception in our garden. We hired tables and chairs, my mum got balloons and hired the gas. We went to france and got most of the booze duty free. My dad did all the food, a buffet. Borrowed the glasses from tescos. To be honest it was great and went on until the early hours. People still talk of our party so I know that we did it right.

I guess we spent about 1000- 1500 pounds.