ideas for wedding on an extreme budget

[ScarletA]

I took my my dp of 10 years out to dinner on Feb 29th and asked him to marry me and he said yes.... All very romantic .

However, now the reality of it all is dawning on us - how expensive are weddings???!!!

It seems that even if you do it really simply, it costs £3-4K. We don't have anything like that kind of money and will have to ask my Mum or get a loan (eek). So I wonder if any of you out there have some good advice about how to do things without spending a fortune.

We will do registry office but have lots guests (more than 60 when we'd totalled it all up - dp has enormous family and I have lots of friends). The biggest cost will be in feeding all these people and their kids and finding a place to do it all.

Any ideas?

I got married in a register office in my work suit, DH wore his work suit, so clothes cost nothing. My mum got me a bunch of flowers on the day from a flower shop, not ordered, just flowers they had there and then. My dad took photos, my dad took us in his car. Really it doesn't have to cost hardly anything and it is definitely not worth getting into debt for. I agree with finding someone who has a big garden and asking guests to bring a buffet item. I would not mind being asked to do this at all. We had a fantastic day at our wedding but equally we have had fantastic days at other people's wedddings - we recently attended at £40k wedding - it was great and the bride and groom had a great time, but I am glad I did not have that kind of bill to deal with!

Weddings don't have to cost a fortune. I agree with everyone else its not worth getting into debt for.

Some of the nicest weddings I know have been among the cheapest - when I was at university friends got married on a shoestring. They got friends to help make up big pots of chilli (stored in freezers all over town until the day itself), brides brother and his friends were waiters, everyone chipped in for drink, mixed tapes for music (that dates it!), second hand dress, cake made by a friend, flowers by another. A group of friends helped decorate the local village hall the day before. It was lovely.

I spent a bit more but got my dress in the monsoon sale for about £60, arrived in a normal taxi, hired a large barn that we had to clear up ourselves, didn't bother with favours. Rather than use a catering company I got food from a local restuarant and bought my own drink. My bridesmaids wore dresses they already had. DH had a new suit, but he needed a new one for work anyway!
I hope you have a lovely day

We fed about 60 people on home-made pizza for dd#2's christening. Our wedding was v. cheap too. I think it's pretty much been summed up by other people. If you are asking other people to bring something to eat it really helps to know roughly how many people you would like them to make something for.

If you are buying gallons and gallons of wine and you can afford to do that, a trip accross the channel may be worthwhile.

The supermarkets over here seem to do an awful lot of perfectly good enough wine at half-price these days!

Oh my god - thank you! I thought no one would reply at all. I am so grateful for ALL your wonderful ideas. Thank you thank you thank you.

We have a tiny garden so that's not possible but today we are going to see a working man's club which is on the same road as us and costs £150 to hire for a night. Was thinking that if we got married in the afternoon, we could go back there and eat and then go home to bath etc and have the party afterwards. Not sure what it's like inside though, might be too grim...

Re food - a couple of friends suggested that guests bring a dish - I felt that it was too cheeky but seeing that SO MANY of you did this or went to weddings where people did this and said it was amazing, I feel much more confident about doing it. We will provide the drink (go to France for the day and get a car load of booze). Me and dp have lived together for nearly 10 years so we have all the traditional wedding present type things - asking people to bring food instead of wedding presents will be a good way of not getting hundreds of (unnecessary) toasters. Hooray!!!

THis really is do-able. All your replies have assured me this is the case. Thank you!

PS what are favours??? Sound terribly risque.

agree with the others - please don't get into debt for a wedding - t is supposed to be ahapy occasion.

One of the nicest weddings we went to was a regsitry office do with very small buffet afterwards and , in the evening, we all went out for a meal in a restaurant - paid for ourselves and out in a few extra pounds to pay for the bride and groom as well. It was lovely - very relaxed.

you will find that your friends and family will only be too delighted to contribute in some way, which wil also make for a better day as everyine will feel involved

I have a friend who is a priest.
He says the best wedding he ever went to was in a church hall and they sent out an order for fish suppers to the local chippie!

The couple had been together a long time and although broke, did not need any "stuff" so they asked in lieu of wedding gifts for their friends to donate to their chosen charity and to this end they passed a bucket round at the party.

Apparently the feel good factor of the day was really high

I got married with no wedding at all.No one was told about it in advance. We had NO money.

Registry office in the lunch hour, two friends as witnesses that we got there under false pretences.

Happiest day of my life.

ScarletA, wedding favours are something you give all the guests, like little bags of suggared almonds. (which everyone either leaves on the table or throws away at home).

Get a cab to the church (I live in london so got a black cab, which was great).

Friends to do photos.

Non traditional wedding cake, ours cost £25 and people were nearly fighting over the remains.

Decide which bits matter to you and which don't and only spend money on the important bits. (i.e. we had a church wedding, lovely church, but then didn't put any flowers in the church, as so expensive, and beautiful building so didn't need them)

Ditch things like presents for best men/bridesmaids etc.

Ask the bridesmaids to wear something similar (if they have it) so can be distinguished, but no-one ever likes the indentical bridesmaids dresses anyway (we gave them all a bit of money and said, buy a long red dress)

Good luck with your wedding and congratulations!

have v small gathering of close family at registry office, go to restaurant for meal. Have ceilidh/disco in the evening for all guests with simple but tasty buffet.

i got married last march and paid very little. my dress i got for 30pounds in debenhams sale, my flower girls dress came from disney store so she could play in it after the big day, flowers were artificial ones from ebay shop(but looked real!)
the big things were wedding gifts from friends and family. for example our friend has a gorgeous car so we asked him to be driver for the day! if you ask friends and family to provide things for the wedding as wedding gifts you can save a lot of money. we only spent about 1000 at most.

Feetheart what a beautiful idea. I got wed abroad 13 years ago and want to renew it by 15. Mind if I pinch the idea as I know the estate manager at a local country park?

I was taking to a friend the other day whose daughter is getting married soon and I told her the mantra that DH and I used all the time when we were orgainsing our wedding - no-one ever said after a wedding "It was a great wedding but it was a shame that the napkins didn't match the bridesmaid's dresses..."

People will be happy to celebrate with you and have a good party - that's all

Have the wedding as late in the day as you can, then you only have to feed people once. Get the cake from Tesco and use flowers from supermarket or somewhere smilar on the day to decorate it. The other option is you and DP get hitched somewhere on your own with as little guests as legally possible (witnesses), then have a party later on. If doing a buffet, make stuff in advance and freeze it. It'll mean less work nearer the time. Get roses/flowers from M and S or tesco a couple of days before and tie wrap them with some nice ribbon.

Congrats and good luck.

I think the key thing if you are on a budget is to manage the size or scale of the day. There's nothing worse than a large cheap wedding - because if you invite loads and then do things like have paper napkins to economise or a really cheap venue, then it will just look naff. So either keep it small and just have intimates or go for something different.

An alternative idea would be to just get married with close family and go out for a meal after (they can pay for themselves). In the evening you could hold a black tie ball for wider family and friends. They can all dress up and the novelty of doing something so radically different would make it not look cheap (iykwim!)

Hire a room for the night and Band if you can afford it (look around, some of them can be as cheap as a few hundred pounds)or DJ and then do a buffet. As it is only an evening buffet, it won't be too expensive. Then, you won't need to pay for drinks, car or any of the other unnecessary things that go with a traditional wedding. But as you are avoiding doing the whole wedding thing, you won't risk making it look naff - instead everyone will be so excited about dressing up and having a good night out, they won't even think of the cost!
HTH

Lol Tommy, I think you must be a much nicer person than I am, because that's exactly the sort of thing I notice at weddings! Although that said, effort does not equate to money. Making sure your colour scheme coordinates does not mean you have to buy the most expensive - it just means it takes you longer to find the right thing!

Also email out invitations, we did this and no-one seemed to mind, it saved us a lot of money and allowed us to put in more information (i.e. directions, hotel details etc)