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Original poster

Is it too strange to reach out to an old friend after 15 years? I keep dreaming of her, it's really bizarre.

32 replies

jamrush92 · 02/10/2023 20:05

Honestly, I'm weirding myself out at this point. I had a super close friend from age 11 to 17. We fell out over something stupid and haven't spoken since. She was like a sister to me and our friendship breakdown was really painful for me. My self esteem plummeted and it forever changed who I was.

For the past 4-5 years, I have recurrent dreams about reuniting with her. The dreams are vivid and I feel quite sad on waking up as I know it's not the case. I rarely think about her in my waking day so I have no idea why she's in my dreams so frequently!!

I reached out to her just before the pandemic and she seemed happy to hear from me. We didn't meet up because of covid restrictions.

Is it weird for me to reach out to her again? Does it seem bothersome? SO thinks I'm being desperate and needy because she hasn't reached out to me yet I'm doing it twice...

OP posts:
Vermin · 02/10/2023 20:08

Do it. At the very least it’ll be like an episode of the Heavyweight podcast, which I adore. It always works out beautifully on there…

endofthelinefinally · 02/10/2023 20:08

I would. Life is too short IME. It is never too late to catch up with an old friend.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 02/10/2023 20:09

I’ve just contacted a lost friend today. She responded. I’m really glad l did .

AliceOlive · 02/10/2023 20:11

No, I’d be happy if I were contacted by someone I was close with in the past.

theduchessofspork · 02/10/2023 20:12

Absolutely contact her

Just be open to what the results might be - you are very different people now.

whyareywelikethis · 02/10/2023 20:12

I did this.
We eventually fell out again for pretty much the same reason although it was much messier second time round as we both had DC who were hurt by us no longer seeing each other.

MMmomDD · 02/10/2023 20:13

Why not?
She was happy to hear from you. Covid intervened.

Why not reach out again and try to meet up?

Your bf is being ridiculous. There is nothing desperate in reconnecting with an old friend. She isn’t an Ex. There is no agenda.

You clearly have some unresolved things that are drawing you back to reconnect.

Nothing to lose really.
You may find out that you are different as adults and don’t have as much in common. Or - it may be nice and you realise the connection is still there.

Go for it

BlueKaftan · 02/10/2023 20:15

I would give it a try but be prepared for it not to pan out. The fact is that she could also could have contacted you?

Riva5784 · 02/10/2023 20:25

What are you expecting to happen? Nothing wrong with trying, but be prepared for things to not pan out the way you might hope.

I had my childhood best friend contact me out of the blue. We exchanged a few messages, but then she stopped responding. My impression was that I wasn't giving her what she wanted.

Dery · 02/10/2023 20:27

“Your bf is being ridiculous. There is nothing desperate in reconnecting with an old friend. She isn’t an Ex. There is no agenda.
You clearly have some unresolved things that are drawing you back to reconnect.

Nothing to lose really.
You may find out that you are different as adults and don’t have as much in common. Or - it may be nice and you realise the connection is still there.

Go for it”

This. I would say your subconscious is telling you to drop her a line. It doesn’t matter if it goes nowhere. You’ll know you’ve responded to the prompt and that’s the important thing.

legalseagull · 02/10/2023 20:36

I'd be trying to interpret the dream. Is there something else going on that could be leading you to feel like you're missing out on something? Getting left behind? Regrets?

Original poster
jamrush92 · 02/10/2023 20:39

Yeah I've tried to do the same. Our friendship breakdown was unexpected and painful. It's so dumb but I actually tear up when I speak about it now...even though it was 14-15 years ago. I believe that was the turning point, my life went downhill, I lost my self esteem and began to hate myself. I believe that point in my life was when I lost myself and I haven't been able to accept that and move on.

OP posts:
Original poster
jamrush92 · 02/10/2023 20:39

legalseagull · 02/10/2023 20:36

I'd be trying to interpret the dream. Is there something else going on that could be leading you to feel like you're missing out on something? Getting left behind? Regrets?

Yeah I've tried to do the same. Our friendship breakdown was unexpected and painful. It's so dumb but I actually tear up when I speak about it now...even though it was 14-15 years ago. I believe that was the turning point, my life went downhill, I lost my self esteem and began to hate myself. I believe that point in my life was when I lost myself and I haven't been able to accept that and move on.

OP posts:
Original poster
jamrush92 · 02/10/2023 20:40

Thanks so much for the replies so far. I think I just need to reach out so my brain will be satisfied that I've done what I can

OP posts:
chan7 · 02/10/2023 20:44

Hi wondering if anyone can help me.... Miscarriage in August had my period after 6 weeks now ttc again. I'm not due on till Thursday but I've had some symptoms which are nausea, sore boobs, backpain, headaches, cold symptoms... I done 2 clear blue 6 days early tests on 10dpo, 11dpo both said not pregnant I've went out today and bought 2 morrisons brand test and I'm not sure if it's an evap line\indent I'm just wondering if anyone could tell me what they think. ..... Context: first one i couldn't really get a photo of the line, second one is a better photo.

Is it too strange to reach out to an old friend after 15 years? I keep dreaming of her, it's really bizarre.
Is it too strange to reach out to an old friend after 15 years? I keep dreaming of her, it's really bizarre.
carddino · 02/10/2023 20:50

@chan7 i can see a line on second one but you see, to have posted on @jamrush92 thread rather than a new one in conception.

@jamrush92 yes reach out. Absolutely go for it. Childhood friends are often the best ones and silly fall outs, life is to short.

chan7 · 02/10/2023 20:52

Yes sorry i was in the wrong thread I'm not sure how to delete it now. I've posted in conception. Thanks.

Monty27 · 02/10/2023 21:35

I've done it with a school friendship group. I live in a different city as do others in the group and some of us hadn't seen each other in years and we were delighted to see each other again.
We'll regroup when I'm next back I'm sure 😊
Do it

LizHoney · 02/10/2023 21:37

Not weird to casually get in touch.

Defo weird to tell her you've been dreaming about her.

stayathomer · 02/10/2023 21:40

another vote to definitely get in touch, life is too short. If it doesn’t work at least you tried. Best of luck!

wouldbeus · 02/10/2023 21:56

I've done this in the past with long lost friends and they have all seemed to be happy to hear from me. But, then it goes dead again. No fall outs or anything. They just don't make any effort or contact me unless I reach out again first so I've given up now.
No harm in reaching out to her but I'd not be surprised if it filtered out again. I really hope not for your sake. Good luck!

Parlourgames · 02/10/2023 22:24

I’ve recently had luck reigniting an old friendship.

but I’ve also had the opposite of luck with meeting up with an old friend as the feelings of unhappiness were still too raw - the resentment and the blame still very much live.

could go either way!

mamaM0 · 02/10/2023 22:30

Definately get in touch. Life really is too short. We don't have forever. Don't assume that because she hasn't gotten in touch she's not interested in friendship. You don't know what's going on in her life right now, timing could be off for her which could explain why she's not gotten in touch. If you feel that strongly about it, to the point you've dreamt about her for 4-5 years, I think it's time to get back in touch and talk about forming a friendship again! You have nothing to lose and an old friend to gain. 🙂

Tonight1 · 03/10/2023 10:28

Do it, I had a vivid dream recently about a friend I'd lost contact with and phoned her. She was really surprised but we almost instantly fell back into our old friendship pattern.

Hope it works out :)

Nanny0gg · 03/10/2023 14:34

jamrush92 · 02/10/2023 20:05

Honestly, I'm weirding myself out at this point. I had a super close friend from age 11 to 17. We fell out over something stupid and haven't spoken since. She was like a sister to me and our friendship breakdown was really painful for me. My self esteem plummeted and it forever changed who I was.

For the past 4-5 years, I have recurrent dreams about reuniting with her. The dreams are vivid and I feel quite sad on waking up as I know it's not the case. I rarely think about her in my waking day so I have no idea why she's in my dreams so frequently!!

I reached out to her just before the pandemic and she seemed happy to hear from me. We didn't meet up because of covid restrictions.

Is it weird for me to reach out to her again? Does it seem bothersome? SO thinks I'm being desperate and needy because she hasn't reached out to me yet I'm doing it twice...

I've just reunited with a friend of 50 years vintage who I hadn't seen for 30 years.

It's great!

We'll only meet up a few times a year as we don't live that close but it's been lovely

Don't overthink it, just give it a try. Absolutely nothing to lose

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