Is it too strange to reach out to an old friend after 15 years? I keep dreaming of her, it's really bizarre.

[jamrush92]

Honestly, I'm weirding myself out at this point. I had a super close friend from age 11 to 17. We fell out over something stupid and haven't spoken since. She was like a sister to me and our friendship breakdown was really painful for me. My self esteem plummeted and it forever changed who I was.

For the past 4-5 years, I have recurrent dreams about reuniting with her. The dreams are vivid and I feel quite sad on waking up as I know it's not the case. I rarely think about her in my waking day so I have no idea why she's in my dreams so frequently!!

I reached out to her just before the pandemic and she seemed happy to hear from me. We didn't meet up because of covid restrictions.

Is it weird for me to reach out to her again? Does it seem bothersome? SO thinks I'm being desperate and needy because she hasn't reached out to me yet I'm doing it twice...

I suppose it depends on why you fell out originally and whose decision it was not to see each other. It also depends on whether you discussed all that with her when you were last in touch.

Definitely reach out OP...if she was happy to hear from you last time that's a good sign and chance that she would be glad to hear from you again. You haven't got much to lose, if it doesn't go to plan at least you tried! Otherwise you might always wonder. Plus I think the older you get the harder it is to find true friends and it's always nice to connect with someone who knows you well.

Get in touch, but keep it light - Hi, you've popped into my mind a few times recently so I thought I'd get n touch to see how you are doing.

But bear in mind that it is a massive weight to place on the friendship to be thinking that its break up was the cause of your loss of self esteem and life going downhill. You really need to take full responsibility for all that. Mend your self esteem, sort your life out, recognise your own agency in all of this and only reconnect if you like the person and want to renew the friendship, not as some sort of therapeutic nosedive.

P.s just to add I recently had an old school friend I hadn't spoken to in a while show up in a lot of my dreams. I am actually pregnant but hadn't told her or many people at that point, when I did reach out to her, it turned out she was also pregnant but hadn't told me. No way I could have known that really but if it doesn't sound too 'woo woo', I think sometimes dreams are trying to tell us something!

Get in touch, but try to keep your expectations low.. Things may not go the way you wish.

As it was pointed out....

She hasn't reached out to you on her own, since the last time you two have spoken.

Just do it.

I was on the receiving end of this - primary school to mid/late 20s friend and we just drifted apart. I’m late 30s & I got a random message on my birthday from this friend! It was lovely! We’re meeting up for a drink next week after maybe 15 years ☺️

Why not, you can just reach out casually and say hello