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Original poster

ABIU about topless pics of his ex

37 replies

rudibee · 01/10/2023 11:42

Hi. So I saw photos of his ex naked in bed and lots of topless ones.
I understand he has a past and there would be photos of her or them together. But am I being unreasonable about getting upset he still has naked and topless ones? I feel this has made me feel differently about him, like it's a bit wrong and disrespectful to me.

OP posts:
Fireisland · 01/10/2023 11:43

Where were these photos?

Original poster
rudibee · 01/10/2023 11:49

@Fireisland they were on his phone. I was looking for a picture. We both have access to each others phones.

OP posts:
Original poster
rudibee · 01/10/2023 11:51

He also follows a lot of girls on social media. And I mean a lot. Girls he doesn't know and the typical social media models. He would go mad if I did the same with men. I'm getting really confused about this relationship.

OP posts:
Fireisland · 01/10/2023 11:52

I think he should have deleted them, yes. But it could easily be laziness rather than him actually still looking at them. How long have you been together?

Bobbotgegrinch · 01/10/2023 12:28

I can't really see the big deal here. I've got nude photos of exes and they've probably still got some of me. They're happy memories, just like other photos. I've always asked during the breakup whether they want them or not (I'm old, so they're not digital) and they've said for me to keep them. Current DP knows they exist, they're in the attic with a load of other crap from my 20s.

It's ok to have a boundary of wanting to get rid of those photos, or not liking randoms on social media, but does he actually know they're your boundaries? Have you actually told him?

IDriveMySupernova · 01/10/2023 12:43

Of course he should delete them! It’s disrespectful to you.

smallshinybutton · 01/10/2023 12:49

IDriveMySupernova · 01/10/2023 12:43

Of course he should delete them! It’s disrespectful to you.

I think it's disrespectful to the ex and he should delete them

Marineboy67 · 01/10/2023 17:08

It's down right rude and fucking wierd. Why the fuck would you want that on your phone? "Oh excuse me love just popping up stairs for a wank over me ex". I say this with a bit of experience. I had a glad to see the back of ex who regularly messaged an ex of hers that sent her naked pictures. She liked the attention and obviously enjoyed revisiting their past....Just wrong! Fucked if I'd put up with it!

PaintedEgg · 01/10/2023 17:11

I would be fuming - including on behalf of this ex. Does she know he still has them?

AFieldGuideToTrees · 01/10/2023 17:14

rudibee · 01/10/2023 11:51

He also follows a lot of girls on social media. And I mean a lot. Girls he doesn't know and the typical social media models. He would go mad if I did the same with men. I'm getting really confused about this relationship.

Put this one back, OP, he doesn't respect his ex, you, or I'd guess any women..

But expects you to respect him.

theduchessofspork · 01/10/2023 17:16

It’s very peculiar and disrespectful to both you and the ex not to have deleted intimate photos. Very.

Original poster
rudibee · 01/10/2023 21:43

@AFieldGuideToTrees he has also stolen money from me. I guess I'm just trying to get validation that he's a bad egg. I dunno. I'm hurting and so then i distort things.... I feel like I'm going mad feeling this way!

OP posts:
Original poster
rudibee · 01/10/2023 21:44

Can't tell anyone in real life because I feel so embarrassed. My head is spinning

OP posts:
Dotcheck · 01/10/2023 21:46

It’s got nothing to do with you. A decent person would delete after they break up. This is really gross

topshotta · 01/10/2023 21:47

rudibee · 01/10/2023 21:43

@AFieldGuideToTrees he has also stolen money from me. I guess I'm just trying to get validation that he's a bad egg. I dunno. I'm hurting and so then i distort things.... I feel like I'm going mad feeling this way!

Ltb he's a dirty thief and also sounds like a perv

smallshinybutton · 01/10/2023 21:48

Don't let him take any pics of you.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 01/10/2023 21:48

Oh he’s a bad egg
and you know this !

i won’t repeat why other posters have nailed
this

why can’t you tell people in RL ? Bad men like him are not rare !

I hope you can walk
away

Lennon80 · 01/10/2023 21:50

Follows models on social media - fucking perv wanky raincoat type - for gods sake get rid of him be a life of misery

Cowlover89 · 01/10/2023 21:51

LTB

beenwhereyouare · 01/10/2023 22:02

Give yourself a real break. Break up and go No Contact.

Nicole1111 · 01/10/2023 22:16

Run don’t walk

Streamorwatchlive · 01/10/2023 22:17

He also follows a lot of girls on social media. And I mean a lot. Girls he doesn't know and the typical social media models. He would go mad if I did the same with men. I'm getting really confused about this relationship

I’ll help your confusion. He’s a cunt, and you’re being taken for a fool. Why does he make you feel confused.

Lostcotter · 01/10/2023 22:21

rudibee · 01/10/2023 21:43

@AFieldGuideToTrees he has also stolen money from me. I guess I'm just trying to get validation that he's a bad egg. I dunno. I'm hurting and so then i distort things.... I feel like I'm going mad feeling this way!

He sounds awful with the pics alone but stealing money from you /financial abuse makes it even worse.

i agree with pp he is being disrespectful to both you and his ex by keeping those pictures. I’d be horrified if an ex of mine kept nude pics but especially moreso if he was letting subsequent partners go through his phone.

there is no way he can justify doing something that he won’t allow you to do btw, I mean how would he actually challenge you about following men on IG when he does with women? I’m genuinely curious as to what his argument would be.

AFieldGuideToTrees · 01/10/2023 23:11

rudibee · 01/10/2023 21:43

@AFieldGuideToTrees he has also stolen money from me. I guess I'm just trying to get validation that he's a bad egg. I dunno. I'm hurting and so then i distort things.... I feel like I'm going mad feeling this way!

He's way beyond being a bad egg.

You'll very likely stop feeling confused and like you're going mad after you remove him from your life.

Get rid!

GreyCarpet · 02/10/2023 07:08

It doesn't matter what people on here say because there will be a voice in the back of your head telling you that no one here knows him though.

You need to tell someone in real life. Someone who knows you and who you trust. About all of it. You'll see their reaction and rant about him and then you'll have clarity and you'll feel more confident ending it.

There's nothing for you to feel embarrassed about. Shitty men are plentiful and we've all met them!