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Original poster

Partner leaving THC and edibles in reach of kids.

83 replies

fbwjsowjdjeoqnd · 29/09/2023 16:44

We have 1 and 3 yr old. We have spoken about it multiple times. I have asked him not to bring them in the house, to store them safely, to let me know if anything is in the house... and I'm still finding them. I have found them in the children's play area twice, in easy reach once, and once the 3 yr old had edibles in her hand - I caught her before she ate it, but he would not have seen if I hadn't been there. I really don't know what to do, besides contacting social services, but if I do that out relationship will be over. Advice please.

OP posts:
Zola1 · 29/09/2023 16:45

Your relationship needs to be over.
You need to safeguard your own children before asking an outside agency to do it. Leaving drugs in reach of toddlers is not an acceptable mistake to make once never mind repeatedly

GrazingSheep · 29/09/2023 16:46

I can’t believe you would put this shitty relationship ahead of your children’s welfare. You’re as bad as he is.

Ponderingwindow · 29/09/2023 16:46

You contact social services. If you don’t, then you will have two problems 1) you will be considered criminally responsible if there is an incident and 2) you won’t have evidence to prevent unsupervised custody.

MsFrost · 29/09/2023 16:46

You need to end this relationship.

SerpentEndBench · 29/09/2023 16:46

Oh love your relationship is already over. He prefers to have his drugs to hand than keep the children safe by not bringing his gear into the family home.

StephanieSuperpowers · 29/09/2023 16:47

End the relationship. He's a poor partner and a poor parent. He doesn't really care enough about your children to heed your warnings and he doesn't respect you enough to listen to what you're saying.

At least one child will find and consume something. When you're at the hospital, social services will have questions and you will need to have a better answer than "I asked but he didn't bother listening so I just let it go".

Original poster
fbwjsowjdjeoqnd · 29/09/2023 16:48

If I end the relationship he will have the right to see the children without me present.

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 29/09/2023 16:48

fbwjsowjdjeoqnd · 29/09/2023 16:48

If I end the relationship he will have the right to see the children without me present.

That is why you have to report him.

Zola1 · 29/09/2023 16:48

So report it to social services and maybe police, and end things at the same time. You need to do both. One won't work.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 29/09/2023 16:49

If he is that bothered about seeing the kids at all then he can see them in a contact centre.

TomatoSandwiches · 29/09/2023 16:49

Get him out of your house, he is a liability.

StephanieSuperpowers · 29/09/2023 16:50

It's hard to be convinced that he'll bother with the children much, to be honest. You may be assuming that because you would care, he would too. But if he can't even keep edibles out of reach of children, he's not really the very caring type, is he?

TomatoSandwiches · 29/09/2023 16:51

I hope you didn't give his edibles back to him, should have binned everything you found.

ApolloandDaphne · 29/09/2023 16:52

SS won't do anything. They will tell you that it is your job as a parent to protect your child and make choices to facilitate this. You need to either ask your OH to leave, or you leave him, if he won't ensure your children are not at risk. As a PP said, one day your child will ingest something. And then SS will be down on you both like a ton of bricks. Don't let that happen.

Original poster
fbwjsowjdjeoqnd · 29/09/2023 16:52

He quit his job to work 1 day a week to look after DC1 between age 1-2. He has done the same for DC2. So a sudden removal of him from their life would be very distressing for them. They spend more time with him than me and have a very strong bond.

OP posts:
Lavender14 · 29/09/2023 16:53

You report it and you leave in order to protect your children. You've been clear with him that this is not acceptable (he should know this without being told ) and he's continuing to show how little he cares for the children and you by continuing to expose your small children to risk. Social services will need to assess the safety of the children being with him unsupervised and it sounds like a contact centre and supervised contact and work around substance misuse is what would be recommended here. Don't sit on this, if you do and God forbid something happens you will be seen as complicit and you'll be risking your own role as parent.

Reporting and leaving is hard but it's the right thing to do.

SoLongAndThanksForAllTheVaricoseVeins · 29/09/2023 16:54

To be brutal, by maintaining the relationship and staying with him when you know he is a danger to them, you are failing to safeguard your children, so you risk difficulties with social services for your own inadequate parenting. Don’t risk losing them through fear of what might or might not happen in terms of contact with him once you end the relationship. Report him to police and SS, and ensure the relationship is over. It is the only solution to your situation.

TomatoSandwiches · 29/09/2023 16:55

fbwjsowjdjeoqnd · 29/09/2023 16:52

He quit his job to work 1 day a week to look after DC1 between age 1-2. He has done the same for DC2. So a sudden removal of him from their life would be very distressing for them. They spend more time with him than me and have a very strong bond.

They won't spend anytime with him if they eat one of his " treats " he isn't a safe parent, what do you want people to say here?

ApolloandDaphne · 29/09/2023 16:56

Lavender14 · 29/09/2023 16:53

You report it and you leave in order to protect your children. You've been clear with him that this is not acceptable (he should know this without being told ) and he's continuing to show how little he cares for the children and you by continuing to expose your small children to risk. Social services will need to assess the safety of the children being with him unsupervised and it sounds like a contact centre and supervised contact and work around substance misuse is what would be recommended here. Don't sit on this, if you do and God forbid something happens you will be seen as complicit and you'll be risking your own role as parent.

Reporting and leaving is hard but it's the right thing to do.

There is no chance this would happen. Absolutely no chance at all.

Original poster
fbwjsowjdjeoqnd · 29/09/2023 16:57

Cant figure out how to reply

OP posts:
Original poster
fbwjsowjdjeoqnd · 29/09/2023 16:58

ApolloandDaphne · 29/09/2023 16:56

There is no chance this would happen. Absolutely no chance at all.

Show quote history

Please be a little clearer

OP posts:
Zola1 · 29/09/2023 17:04

fbwjsowjdjeoqnd · 29/09/2023 16:52

He quit his job to work 1 day a week to look after DC1 between age 1-2. He has done the same for DC2. So a sudden removal of him from their life would be very distressing for them. They spend more time with him than me and have a very strong bond.

Do you think it'll be more distressing for them when they end up in hospital because their father cba following basic safety rules?

I mean, rules like 'keep your drugs out of the reach of children' are not exactly rocket science and shouldn't be negotiable

Original poster
fbwjsowjdjeoqnd · 29/09/2023 17:08

Thanks for the replies. I know you are right. It's just difficult knowing I will probably never be forgiven by him. Then becoming a single parent with no help from an otherwise helpful partner will be tough for all of us. The alternative is clearly worse though.

OP posts:
Cowlover89 · 29/09/2023 17:09

You need to end the relationship before you lose your child

Zola1 · 29/09/2023 17:11

fbwjsowjdjeoqnd · 29/09/2023 17:08

Thanks for the replies. I know you are right. It's just difficult knowing I will probably never be forgiven by him. Then becoming a single parent with no help from an otherwise helpful partner will be tough for all of us. The alternative is clearly worse though.

Rather than whether he would forgive you...would you forgive yourself if one of the children becomes very unwell after you knew and ignored the risk?