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Original poster

Deep fake porn

53 replies

Blossomingtree · 27/09/2023 11:26

After a few years of basically a sexless marriage, husband freezing me out and me going mad at knowing something was happening, but not being able to find evidence. I finally have found that he has been using software to make deep fake porn of an ex student (university) of his. He is 40, she was about 18 in the photos.

I knew he had checked out of this marriage but always proclaimed he hadn't, that he loved me etc. Anyway, it's not the first time porn has controlled his life. I'm done, I am getting my ducks in a row. I have 3 kids and a life so it is devastating. But this is what I need help with. I want to tell the woman. He would often have contacted her as he helped her get jobs in the past, both in same profession now etc. Obviously I am angry and feel vengeful. But I was raped as a teenager and photos taken of me, so that could be influencing me also. I also want her to know so she can stay away from him. He hasn't shared them, so otherwise she wouldn't know. If she never had contact with him, I wouldn't tell her. But he contacted her recently to tell her about this great design software he has been using! Scary how much of a moral compass he lacks.

OP posts:
Opentooffers · 27/09/2023 18:30

It's worth mulling over because the likely outcome would be for him to get arrested and do some time. Then if you split from him, he won't be working to pay any maintenance. But tbh, he should and deserves to get sent down for it.

Mummy08m · 27/09/2023 21:08

the likely outcome would be for him to get arrested and do some time

I'd be astonished if he got a custodial sentence for just this (much as he might deserve one). Have you seen the atrocities that they give suspended sentences for these days. It makes me sick.

Sadly, much more likely that he'll get 6mo suspended and a SHPO.

GilbertMarkham · 28/09/2023 09:44

Oh it definitely does. The law, which includes deep fakes, was "reinforced" in June to include lack of malicious intent. So it doesn't matter whether he intended to.distrsss her or not now (which he apparently didn't) ... It's criminal if he made fakes and disseminated them. (Maybe not even requiring dissemination).

He's committed a sexual offence against this young woman he's been contacting and pretending to be a kind, normal mentor/co.professional to. The fact she is possibly 16 in some of the images he's used as well ....

GilbertMarkham · 28/09/2023 09:46

Opentooffers · 27/09/2023 18:30

It's worth mulling over because the likely outcome would be for him to get arrested and do some time. Then if you split from him, he won't be working to pay any maintenance. But tbh, he should and deserves to get sent down for it.

Again, why does this young woman get to have a sexual offence committed against her but covered up and never informed of it or have the chance for justice for it ....

to protect op's kids opinion of their Dad, or op's child maintenance.

Interesting morality several posters have.

GilbertMarkham · 28/09/2023 09:47

Mummy08m · 27/09/2023 21:08

the likely outcome would be for him to get arrested and do some time

I'd be astonished if he got a custodial sentence for just this (much as he might deserve one). Have you seen the atrocities that they give suspended sentences for these days. It makes me sick.

Sadly, much more likely that he'll get 6mo suspended and a SHPO.

Yes, as someone said in the RB thread - if RB is convicted in the UK he'll get community service ...if he's convicted in the US he'll get 20 yrs in prison.

GilbertMarkham · 28/09/2023 09:50

Mummy08m · 27/09/2023 21:08

the likely outcome would be for him to get arrested and do some time

I'd be astonished if he got a custodial sentence for just this (much as he might deserve one). Have you seen the atrocities that they give suspended sentences for these days. It makes me sick.

Sadly, much more likely that he'll get 6mo suspended and a SHPO.

Exactly.

Men who've downloaded and disseminated child sex abuse images and videos often don't even get custodial sentences.

Oldthyme · 28/09/2023 10:01

I am so sorry you are caught up in this despicable issue OP.
The police will have a specialist team to deal with it and the young woman involved. They will be able to access and hopefully shut down his sh*t show which might go a lot further than that which you have come across.
Stay strong and hand it over to the professionals as soon as you can.

Disturbia81 · 28/09/2023 10:16

@GilbertMarkham I am continually shocked by some of the attitudes on here for letting men off.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 28/09/2023 10:52

I’m also going to advise some caution here

your focus is you , the kids and exiting this safely and calmly

this could cause more problems than benefits

leave her in blissful ignorance for a while and focus on the matter at hand

GilbertMarkham · 28/09/2023 11:13

Disturbia81 · 28/09/2023 10:16

@GilbertMarkham I am continually shocked by some of the attitudes on here for letting men off.

It's the letting men off, but also the disgusting expediency and "self preservation" and lack of basic mortality/integrity.

Just; will it adversely affect me and mine, if so, I'll not do the right thing.

You can see it on all the threads here from victims of sexual abuse too, especially within families; them being revictimised by people siding with or at very least not ostracizing the sex offender, because it would cause them inconvenience or lose them money.
Usually accompanied by maligning the victim and implying she was complicit.

I'm surprised some posters haven't tried that re. the then uni student yet - maybe even they know it would lead to a possible ban.

At least the op seems to be made of better stuff

GilbertMarkham · 28/09/2023 11:17

Thisisworsethananticpated · 28/09/2023 10:52

I’m also going to advise some caution here

your focus is you , the kids and exiting this safely and calmly

this could cause more problems than benefits

leave her in blissful ignorance for a while and focus on the matter at hand

Disgusting.

GilbertMarkham · 28/09/2023 11:18

Every day he's not reported and stopped, he and the men he's sharing the faked images of this young woman with; is a day they're being spread and copied ... Harder and harder to track down and get rid of.

You really should be fkg ashamed of yourself.

Blissful ignorance... Smh.

Will it be blissful ignorance if one of her work colleagues comes across them and thinks they're her real images, that she consented to?

Even if that doesn't happen, it's not blissful ignorance. Your attitude stinks to high heaven.

GilbertMarkham · 28/09/2023 11:24

Interesting to see how many people would conceal a crime if it was to their benefit.

The worst of people, obviously.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 28/09/2023 11:47

You need to take this to the police.

Don't approach the woman yourself, you could distress or frighten her but also it could lead to him being tipped off and destroying evidence.

Do not hold back to protect your kids. You only know about this porn, and it is bad enough that it possibly uses images of a sixteen year old, there could be worse lurking. If so you need to be able to protect your kids from this man and informing the police is the best way to do that.

Original poster
Blossomingtree · 28/09/2023 12:05

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 28/09/2023 11:47

You need to take this to the police.

Don't approach the woman yourself, you could distress or frighten her but also it could lead to him being tipped off and destroying evidence.

Do not hold back to protect your kids. You only know about this porn, and it is bad enough that it possibly uses images of a sixteen year old, there could be worse lurking. If so you need to be able to protect your kids from this man and informing the police is the best way to do that.

These are my thoughts too. What else could he be capable of? People don't just start off making deep fakes, this porn issue of his has lead to this. So if I hadn't of found it, what else along the line would he have tried? Because it's never enough, he always needs more. I find that very scary. I truly believe if he had self confidence then he would maybe be a bit more dangerous with it. He's just a pathetic man with his hand on his dick. I can't not tell her, I just feel sick to my stomach to have to do this to her.

OP posts:
JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 28/09/2023 16:31

Talk to the police and let them talk to her, you shouldn't approach her direct at this stage.

Name99 · 28/09/2023 16:49

This is a police matter and if should be the police informing her of what's happened not you.
They will have specially trained officers and hopefully support for her.
Inform the police of your findings and let them deal with it.

TheShellBeach · 28/09/2023 16:55

OP please let the police tell her. They have experienced officers who know how to go about this.
I would feel awful if I was randomly told this by a sex offender's wife.

Peacendkindness · 28/09/2023 16:57

209448spp · 27/09/2023 15:18

Take evidence of the stuff you found and send it to the girl
it’s up to her what she does with it then and explain in your message what you found and that it was your husband that made it
I felt sick reading your post that’s awful

Tell the woman and notify the police - really creepy and a total invasion of her privacy

SherbetLemonn · 28/09/2023 17:00

Gosh that’s really awful, I’m so sorry for you OP, but I feel sick for this poor woman, blissfully unaware of the disgusting way your husband has used her photos. Definitely do not approach her yourself, contact the police and let them deal with it, as mentioned they have specifically trained officers for this sort of thing.

ginasevern · 28/09/2023 17:07

Of course you must take these pictures to the Police but I also think you need to remove yourself and your children to a place of safety first. Who knows what he is capable of. His actions are sick beyond belief but the girl is (probably) not in immediate danger. You, on the other hand, are right there on the front line.

andjustlikethat1 · 28/09/2023 17:13

What a difficult situation you are in, I am so sorry. Could you contact a family solicitor about this before proceeding, as this could involve an arrest, your children finding out, public finding out, friends at school teachers, social workers etc etc,it really is going to be a stressful time for all of you. If you stay tight lipped what will happen in the future. I think if it was me I don't know if I would say anything but if something happened in the future. I would end up in the worst situation of my life. Is he a danger to women?

Name99 · 28/09/2023 20:17

I second getting legal advice to prepare yourself.
I'd guess that the police will be looking at his devices, prepare yourself for the worst by getting clued up about you and your children's rights

Original poster
Blossomingtree · 30/09/2023 20:06

I'm going to the police on Monday. It took me some time to get the evidence, as he has tried to delete some other stuff and I wanted to check for more. I can't find anything else, but the more I read about what he has done, the more I realise there is definitely a tonne more I haven't been able to find. When I first found some images, he grabbed my hand so hard to get the phone off me. I have added up all the dates and the trends and you can see it escalate and escalate.

I will never ever understand this. Of course he is crying, remorseful, devastated about the kids etc. I gave him so many opportunities over the years to talk to me. He froze me out and I will never understand how wanking to fetish porn trumps having sex with an actual person. But here we are. The more I read about the rise of AI porn, the more scared I am for my daughter growing up in a world like this. Totally sick.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 30/09/2023 22:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this.