What is the ‘Normal’ relationship timeline?

[Twinboymum2010]

I know this is one of those things that like ‘how long is a piece of string’ but I’m just wondering what people’s relationship timeline was? I am 34 and have been in a relationship for a while now. We both want to get married. I have a disability that is only going to get worse and I will probably end up in a wheelchair sooner rather than later and I really don’t want to be wheeled up to aisle in a wheelchair. I also want to be engaged for a fair bit of time to allow time to save for the wedding I want (not a big wedding, very intimate and immediate family only, but both want to get married abroad)but I really want to be married before the age of 40.
I’m just wondering what is considered a reasonable time to be together before expecting a ring?
what was your timeline for your relationship?
my partner always reiterates that is parents were engaged and married within 6 months of meeting but then in the same breath says he doesn’t want to rush
I’m not all about marriage. It’s not the be all and end all and honestly if my partner was against marriage then I still would be with him and wouldnt affect how much I love him but I can’t help but wonder

I think if you’re with someone at 34, then it’s reasonable to be married before 40.

Have you spoken to your OH about timelines?

Yeah we’ve spoken about it but it just kinda goes round in circles. He says it will happen when it happens 🤷🏼‍♀️
he’s said it will be before I’m 40 but doesn’t really narrow it down?

If you're a sheep then it's what other people think is the right time. If you can think for yourself then it's down to what you think is an acceptable time for you.

If he really wanted to be your husband he'd have asked you by now. If you really wanted the same you could've asked him by now.

I didn't 'expect a ring' but had one after 6 months.

In your shoes, I'd have a time in my head and if he hadn't proposed by that point I'd move on.

How long have you been together? Does he know about the timeline in terms of deterioration of your illness etc?

Whatever you both agree and feel comfortable with.

Also, just wondering, do you already have children? (looking at your user name)

If they're his kids and he hadn't married me within 2 years of them being born, I'd end it personally.

You don't have to be engaged to save up. Do that regardless.

I'd say if he's kicking the can down the road he's not keen.

Do you have children? Are they his?

We got engaged after 18 months and married 6 months later. We’ve been happily married now for 15 years

It’s not the timeline that I think you should worry about, it’s his inability to actually commit to getting married. There’s no point talking about when it’s going to happen if he’s not even committed to it happening, which sounds like the case here as he’s going round in circles when you bring it up.

I don’t know if there is a normal, the timelines seem to vary hugely amongst people I know.

For us, we were together around 18 months before we got engaged and then were married 8 months after that which I think is quicker than average. Was right for us though.

I'm trying out waiting for a proposal, because I have already proposed twice in my life and I'd like to be asked! But I proposed much too early (within 3 months in both cases) and all I can say is that's too fast. We're at 3 years now and I kind of hope for around five years? But I think he shouldn't ask before his daughter's wedding and that'll be a couple of years yet.

But if you’re looking for people’s timelines:
I met DH when I was 30, he was 33.
Moved in after 2 years, engaged around 5-6 months after that. Married at around 3.5 years. First baby then around 5 years, 2nd around 7 years and now we’re onto our 3rd baby at 10 years (I turn 40 just before baby is due 🙈 Baby is due on our anniversary though 🥰)

How long have you been together?

In my experience (5 proposals), any man who wants to marry you will propose very quickly - definitely within a year. Any man who likes you but still thinks he can do better, will give you excuses.

If you worry/susoect your BF won't propose in the next SIX YEARS, you're with the wrong person.

He brings up his parents' rapid proposal because that's his ideal. That's what he'll want to emulate. But the fact he didn't propose to you as quickly suggests to me you're the not the one.

5?!?!??

How many weddings?

We’ve been together for a couple of years
He knows about the timeline of my illness since I was diagnosed since we’ve been together. I was fine when we met and then started having issues end of last year that resulted in a diagnosis of osteoarthritis that has only gotten worse since the diagnosis nearly a year ago
I have twin 13 year olds that are not his. We don’t want children together. We have a niece (my sisters) and soon to be nephew (his sisters) and we are quite happy with just doting on them
I posted this more to see peoples timelines. I know everyones circumstances are different. I’m just surrounded by married couples. Literally every one of my friends and family are married and constantly asking when it’s going to happen for us. I can honestly say if he proposed now I’d be really shocked but I don’t know why? At what point do I spend every day thinking about when it’s going to happen?
We have not been together long enough for me to finish the relationship over it not happening and like I said if he said he didn’t want to then I wouldnt hold it against him

Two.

@HenryCavillsWife I know this is a complete off topic but you need to start thread to tell us your secret weapons.

OK so if its timelines youre after, our timeline was anything but normal.

I was pregnant within 5 months of meeting, engaged 3 years after meeting and married less than 6 months after that.

I would've left him if he hadn't married me. I wasn't planning on giving up my 20s and chance of a career (I was a SAHM) for a man who wasn't gonna marry me.

But everyone's circumstances are different. I do think that 2 years is long enough to know. If he's 34 too, he knows within 2 years whether he wants to marry you or not. It's not like he's still a kid.

@Epidote 😂

My timeline:
Engaged: after just shy of a year
Baby: 9 months later
Marriage: 10 months after that

So from single to married with a baby in 2.5 years, wild ride 😂

We met in our mid-30s

We moved in together after about a year and started ttc fairly soon after that - wanting a family was more important than a wedding at that point and it did indeed take us a very long time to conceive. In the meantime we got engaged after about 4 years together and married about a year after that (by which point I was finally pregnant). I can’t decide if we’d have got married sooner had we not been focused on fertility stuff, or whether actually we’d not have bothered getting married at all.

I think it’s worrying that he’s not up for an open and straightforward conversation about it - ‘it’ll happen when it happens’ isn’t an answer. I had one of those in the past, he finally proposed after 11 years but the wedding never actually happened. He married the next one pretty bloody quick though (they’re divorced now to be fair).

For me, engaged after a year, married after two.

If you don't know that you want to get married after a couple of years together I'd be questioning the level of commitment, tbh.

@HenryCavillsWife placing marking to find out your witchcraft ways!

I was engaged after 16 months
Married 6 months after that
1st baby 3.5 years after starting dating, quite swift! But still together now 12 years later

Not sure if there is a timeline as everyone's experience is different but mine = met at 28, engaged by 30, first child 31, married 33, second child 36!