Would you buy a property with a spouse if they refuse to show you a bank statement when you ask?

[Martacus]

Would you buy a property with a spouse if they refuse to show you a bank statement when you ask them (to see exact savings and salary)?

If they refuse, would you just take their word for it and trust them?

Or would you demand to see evidence?

And what would you do if they still refuse?

Absolutely not, what are they hiding?

Tbh, I wouldn't marry anyone either who was so secretive with their finances.

No. Absolutely not. What are they hiding? It's no way to have a relationship.
Move on.

They will have to show it to the mortgage company, when we did that the days before Internet we clearly saw each other's. Does sound like he's hiding something, either too little or more in his account? I had a time of bad spending and wouldn't have wanted my DH to see my account so it does smack of this to me, whereas before and after that time I'm more than happy to share. Xx

Not sure how you have married someone without knowing their financial situation?? It's definitely red flags and I would imagine hes hiding something, lots of debt etc. Does he not realise that they will check his bank statements when apply for a mortgage

I have never seen my husband's bank statements. I have been married for 25 years. I know he is a good man and frugal with money. I suppose it depends whether you find your husband trustworthy in other areas. If he has bad credit rating you will find it out via your mortgage broker

Absolutely not. But I'm interested to know what you want to see a bank statement for?

To know his wage or that he's got the deposit or that he's not in debt or that he has loads of money?

Does he only have one current account? I have 3, plus savings accounts and isas and share accounts.

I wouldn't say he needs to declare his entire financial life to you, but you need to know whether he's in debt and that he can afford the mortgage. The bank will check the latter anyway. For the former a credit report is more useful.

No

I wouldn't marry someone who wouldn't share that info with me, and definitely wouldn't buy a house with them.

Same. Been married 17 years and together for 21, I've never asked nor needed to know.

Absolutely wouldn't, the mortgage application process would usually involve providing the bank statements as part of the underwriting process to ensure all is above board which as a joint application you should really know what is being submitted anyway.

Absolutely not, you shouldn't tie yourself to anyone with a mortgage without full financial openness. When you take on a financial commitment such as a mortgage it is a joint and several liability, which means that is one person doesn't pay they can go after the other one for the full amount of the debt. Why would you tie yourself to someone when you don't know if they have the funds to pay. Also, financial clarity between spouses should be a basic and fundamental cornerstone of your relationship. If he/she wants to hide their finances then what else do they want to hide and not share!

No.

Maybe a secret gambling habit or other secret website habits ??

I wouldn’t marry someone without full financial transparency. No matter how you organize your finances, there should not be any secrets.

I absolutely would not tie my self financially to someone that refused to be transparent about their money

Tbh I didn’t ask to see my DH’s bank statements when we bought our first (and subsequent) houses. We had a conversation along the lines of “right, I earn X, you earn X and you have X for a deposit. Great, let’s see a mortgage broker and see what we can afford”. Obviously then supplied bank statements to the broker and solicitors but I never actually looked at his. Pretty sure he didn’t look at mine either. Some privacy is not normally a bad thing! My DH doesn’t need to know how much exactly I spend on crap for the dog and the kids and I can’t bring myself to look at how much he probably spends on his hobby.

Has he given you a reason why? How open are you generally with finances?

Hadn't spotted that you said spouse, it would be a relationship dealbreaker for me too

No, please don't. I got through all the stages of getting a mortgage in principal and putting in an offer on a house before my partner admitted she'd not been totally honest about finances and had hidden debt (I had seen her bank statements). I still get the absolute rage thinking about what would have happened if we'd had the offer accepted and I'd started the process of getting the mortgage in principle approved. My partner didn't even see why it was a big deal.

The bottom line, as others say, is that if you're buying a property together this will eventually have to be shared information, and someone who doesn't want to tell you the full truth at an early stage probably doesn't have much respect for the concept of honesty.

I would not consider buying a pair of towels with a husband who won't share their bank statements!!! I am obviously one of the really lucky ones. I have internet access to all his online accounts and even when i worked in his business I had access to company accounts. One day I decided he had enough in his account so I paid his wage into my account because I had just paid a large credit card bill (his name) He know how much I have in my account and I know what he has in his accounts. We have no joint account and have never had one!

Hi @GreyBlackBay , you ask:
I'm interested to know what you want to see a bank statement for?

• the answer is to see the amount of savings he has, and also to see his monthly take-home pay. Simply to have accurate figures. Not to go through any individual transactions!

That would be a total dealbreaker on the whole relationship for me

No. I think I'd consider divorce.

Haha, no.

What are his reasons not to show you ?

No, I wouldn’t. We don’t share all our money but I know what DH earns and has in savings. I don’t know how this would be secret, when you do a mortgage application jointly?

100% no.