More than friendship, less than a relationship, help.

[Littlemiss82]

Hi lovely ladies,

looking for advice on a situation im
in, that I’m starting to find hard, as my feelings grow.

I met a guy around 5 months ago. We chatted for a couple of weeks, then everything went quiet so thought it was over. After two weeks he got back im contact to say his ex girlfriend, had just had a baby and didn’t know how to tell me as he thought I wouldn’t be interested. I’m not one to judge and know everyone has a past. We decided to stay im touch and get to know each other and spoke on the phone regularly.

His ex has significant mental health issues and there has been a lot of issues since the birth of the baby. He has yet to see the baby as she has blocked this and he now has a solicitor involved in order to try and get shared custody, as he wants to play an active role in the child’s life. He’s received horrific messages froM his ex and it’s wearing him down.

We met at the beginning of August for a date and we got on so well. However whilst on the date, his exes friend called him, to interrogate why he had gone to a solicitor, so changed the tone of the rest of the date. After the date, he went AWOL for a couple of weeks and I never heard from him.

We started speaking again the middle of August, he told me he was struggling following the call he revived int he date and the stress. Things have been lovely, since we got back in touch, we speak every day, sometimes for 2-3 hours at a time, texts every morning, we have met for coffee once and we have this amazing chemistry and connection. He offers to do jobs in my house when things need fixing. We have never slept together. He says his head is so mixed up because of everything that is going on with the upcoming court case.

The problem is we refer to eachother as friends, but I am now getting feelings for this man. I have spoke to him, he says he likes me, and if he didn’t we wouldnt be continuing to talk and get to know eachother and says well see how things are when everything is sorted with the baby.

I need advice on what to do as it’s been 5 months, we have an amazing connection and my feelings are growing and I’m starting to feel sad I can’t be with him. Is he interested or has everything that happened with his ex put him off women for life? Or is he just messing me about?

thanks

xxxx

Do not pursue a relationship with this man. He may or may not be lovely, but right now he’s not in a position to start a new relationship, even if he thinks he is.

He’s got a lot going on in his life with the baby, and he needs to focus on this. Even if he wanted to, he can’t give you 100% at the moment.

Let him go. You’d be doing him a disservice by encouraging him to start a relationship at this moment. Let him concentrate on the baby and how he and the baby’s mother are going to co-parent.

I really don’t mean to sound harsh but run as far as you can in the opposite direction. I have literally been there done that-it was not fun! Really damaged me for a long time and the resulting years of drama, harassment, police and solicitors was not worth it.
It’s great that he wants to be involved but now is not the time for him to be focusing on a new relationship and he is not the one for you. I really wish I knew then what I know now but I also probably would have ignored all advice!!!