He's moving out - next weekend........

[FAQ]

don't know where to - haven't asked him (yet) - but he's just told me.

I'm glad in one respect we just can't live together like this - but a bit too - especially as next weekend is my birthday...

oh dear. sorry i am pretty crap at stuff like this usually but you have no replys

hope someone else has replied so you can ignore me!

FAQ - not followed all of what is happening as not here enough

but

You will be fine kidder (as one of my work colleagues always says to me)

PS - DH1 left me out of the blue, and I worked it out in the end

nope just boring lil me! sorry about that

I'm sorry, FAQ.

oh. i have been sort of following FAQ. do you think he's going because it is your birthday? won't it be a bit of a relief as well?

I'm sorry that it is your birthday FAQ but it will give you the mental space to find a way forward. You will be fine x

So sorry

My DH1 left me 2 weeks before my birthday.

You know what? - I got a babysitter and went out and had the best birthday ever - I didn't have the cloud of his judgement, his disapproval of my friends, or anything else

It was fab

PS - I didn't go out for long - my friends came back to my house - friends I had forgotten I had because he didn't get on with them, and we sat and chatted for hours

no he would have gone today/tomorrow if it was at all possible. I guess next weekend is just the date that's best for whoever it is that has agreed to put him up....

Guess the DS's will be having a late night next Saturday - I was hoping to go to the "Sing-Along Grease" at church next Saturday evening (yes it's very uncool I know - but some of my good friends are going and it was going to be a cheap night "out" for my birthday)......I still want to go so I'll have to take them with me

It will be relief, but it's suddenly hit home really hard that it's really happening too

I would get a babysitter - except that one of them it's her birthday on the Saturday (day after mine) so will definitely be going out (she'll be 20), and the others will be out at this "sing along Grease" thing

Also scared about how I'm going to cope with the DS's on my own.

from what little I have read - you will cope fine. You may well find that you are the strong lovely woman that he was undermining and not allowing you to be

I have faith in you

And you have pretty much been coping with DSs on your own anyway??

I suppose - it's just it's the week before Easter and I have so much on at church - I've now got to figure out how I'm going to manage to do it all and sort the DS's at the same time.

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Sorry to hear this FAQ - I know you've tried hard over the years to keep things going

My DH1 left me with no warning. I made him stay an extra day to explain to DS1 (who was 6 or 7 and my only child at the time). In the short term, do whatever you have to. Can you speak to the people in your church, will they not understand that your circumstances have changed?

In the longer term you will find other ways to fit everything in.

PS - I soon found DH2 (though only recently DH rather than DP)

and he is fab - you will find someone fab

He loves me even when my arse is fat, or my housekeeping crap, or my parenting below the MN ideal

I presume we'll be explaining to the DS's this coming weekend - TBH I don't think either of them (DS1 in particular) will be too surprised there's been so many arguments that they've either seen or heard (after they've gone to bed)...

People at church will understand my circumstances have changed - but I just can't leave them in the lurch for Easter - I'm the organist (and a very reliable one I'll have you know - how many organists have played for a service after there waters started dribbling as they walked into church, or played while BFing a baby ) and I KNOW there's no-one else to cover for me as the 2 people that sometimes help out are going away for Easter week...

Ho hum I'll sort something out.

Where are you - Darn Sarf??

Family around who could help?

I understand the wanting to keep to comitments. I am the same. I guess you will work something out ... [looks forward to the MN thread about making DSs work the foot pedals]

East Midlands/East Anglia (depending on who you talk to LOL).

No family around here........

I have to keep my commitments to them - they've been SO good to me - in lots of ways - and my music making helps keep me sane!

Actually DS3 was "playing" the organ on Sunday - had him sat on my knee between hymns and had to switch it off as he was hammering at the keyboards.......then put him down on the floor to drag crawl around and he made a beeline for the pedals and was trying to whack them too

One of my best memories is playing "pop goes the weasel" on the pedals of Southwell Minster when I was about 7 or 8

I used to turn pages at a few weddings at little churches too - at about the same age

my funniest organ memory was at St Giles in Edinburgh just months after the (then) new £1 million organ had been installed. Somehow (not sure how it happened) my parents and I were in regular writing contact with Peter Hurford and he arranged for me to go and sit up in the organ loft with the great Herrick Bunny for a Sunday service just after I started at boarding school up there,

all was fine and dandy and amazing......but then in the last verse of the last hymn he pointed to a stop and asked me to pull it out - so I did - not realising it was bells (tubular sort) - this was at the main Sunday service at the major Catherdral of the CoSc LOL - he told everyone afterwards it was my idea

anyhow - just looked at the clock - DS3 been teething (both teeth have broken through now though so hopefully the worst is "over" - for now) and I don't know what sort of night I'll have.....and that reminds me I must remember to make sure the tooth fairy visits DS1 before I go to bed (as he lost a tooth today!).

Thanks for cheering me up and diverting my thoughts elsewhere (whereelse but on MN would a thread about a H moving out turn to talking about organs LOL).

Night

ouch

I am away to bed now

You will be better than fine you know?

If I was closer I would offer you help (only after you were given suitable references from Lulumama nad TrinityRhino and others obviously). But I am way up in the chilly north west. And never venture further south than nottinghamshire usually.

But you will be better than fine.

Well, a birthday, = another year over, and a new one to begin. A fantastic, new positive fresh new start

You'll feel relieved, trust me ;) you will no longer dread going home. You will no longer dread, waking up, and getting up in the mornings. You will no longer have to worry about all those little things that used to trigger arguments.... its a good thing, because in your situation, its the right thing.
YOu will find strength you didn't know you had. And this time, next year, you will be amazed at how far you have come, and what you have achieved, by your self.

Good luck, with all of it, and enjoy every step of the next chapter in your life... and those you don't enjoy, look back on and know that you learnt from them and that they helped you along into the next few steps... ( hope that make sense? ! )

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