I am going to list DH good points and the bad stuff and I would really appreciate some opinions, however blunt or harsh. I am so confused about my marriage.
Have been married for 6 years and have 2 DC.
Good stuff
DH is a good father.
When he has money he is very generous.
He can be funny and good company.
Is supportive when I have family or work issues but throws it all back in my face when we fall out.
Bad stuff
If we have a discussion about ANYTHING and I dont agree with him he calls me thick and stupid and a fucking idiot.
When we row, he calls me vicious names and brings up things I have told him about my past and family - really bad stuff for example my Mum was physically and verbally abusive to me throughout my life and he says that he understands why. My DS is possibly ASD and he told me that it was my fault because I have had mental health issues and it was rubbing off on his son also that I want DS to be ASD so I can be the centre of attention.
He has hit me three times since we have been married the last on Christmas Eve when he pushed me down a flight of stairs.
I am currently having to declare myself bankrupt because he has run up £1000s of debt that I have no possible way of paying.
I am a SAHM and he tells me that I am a money grabber and all I do is spend the money that he earns - not true - I have my own money, not much but enough to live on, he has supported me in the past though.
He has been unfaithful to me - have found text messages on his phone and phone numbers in pockets etc when he has not taken his phone out.
He drinks to excess - most nights - but not in front of the kids.
He does not care enough about me to observe any of my special occasions ie birthdays and anniversaries etc, then tells me I am immature and have the mind of a 13 year old because I get upset about it.
When I am watching various TV programmes he will also say the above.
All this stuff does not happen all the time, but only when we are not getting on. I find myself getting harder and harder and nastier and nastier to him back in order to deflect it and not end up a nervous wreck. I was abused as a child and have always been a fighter. Not much of this happens in front of the children and he is a great Dad. I have no money and no where to go. I dont even know if I am over reacting or not. He was 22 when we married and says that he was a kid and his behaviour is my own fault and I should never have married him at that age. I am 6 years older. He wanted us to have children straight away, though I thought we should wait so we did and I am glad but it does seem strange for someone who now says that he never really wanted to marry me and has wanted to leave since we had been married for 6 months.
Thanks, sorry so long.