Husband bisexual help!

[Mariam44]

I’ve been with my husband for 20 years.
in the last 10 years he’s asked me to wear a strap on which I really didn’t enjoy to the point of me thinking I wasn’t enough for him.
Anyway we had a threesome with another man, his choice.
ive asked him for years if he might be gay or bisexual and I’ve told him there will be no judgement on my part.
Hes always said he’s not and after the threesome he’s now saying he might be bisexual !!! I feel so betrayed after all this time he said he’s not !! Thoughts please I feel lost and like I do t even know him

He would benefit from therapy to explore his sexuality, and you would benefit from being able to process your response to it. Separate and couples therapy would probably help here. Honesty is key though. You probably feel threatened that he won't feel the same way about you or may not wish to be monogamous while he explores this, as well as the worry about deception. You need to have those conversations and set your boundaries about what you're comfortable with.

Why are you disgusted? That is a very negative emotion. Sexuality is fluid and throughout our lives we could be on different parts of a spectrum. Your husband probably doesn't know himself and is faced with conflicting feelings. This is your time to support him, not judge. Working with a counsellor or sex therapist shud be the first step.

Disgust is an emotion that is extremely common when it comes to sex. It's not unusual or strange or OTT. Some things disgust us and we don't need to work at making them not disgust us.

Personally I'd be disgusted if I felt deceived like he had been pretending I was a man when I used the strap on, or if he was secretly wishing that he was getting fucked when we had the threesome.

OP doesn't have to support him, she's allowed to have her own feelings and concerns and 'disgust' and concentrate more on her own emotions about it and supporting herself. She's allowed to feel betrayed and to go through the emotions of that experience. It's not all about the person who might be struggling with their sexuality. The other person has their own experience and that's just as important and valid.