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Original poster

Do people date this much?

62 replies

Curiousbeancat · 19/09/2023 11:25

I met a guy who divorced two years ago

He’s had 5 actual girlfriends in this time

1st gf was a recovering drug addict so he dumped at 3 months
2nd gf dumped him at 3 months
3rd gf he didn’t have a spark for, so dumped 3 months
4th gf was 6 months and he ended it out of
nowhere
5th gf is a few weeks along now

He has slept with over 40 women in two years

is this a lot? Or what dating is like now with unlimited options?

OP posts:
IHopeThisFindsYouWell · 19/09/2023 19:41

Wouldn't be my cup of tea.

Catsafterme · 19/09/2023 19:48

He's either playing the field or an absolute bullshitter. Either way doesn't seem good.

I personally couldn't date multiple people on the same day.

Original poster
Curiousbeancat · 19/09/2023 19:59

I don’t think he’s bullshitting at all
I think he’s being totally honest

OP posts:
iamenough2023 · 19/09/2023 20:05

Boy I am old. 😫 Even reading this got me a headache. I have been separated and recently divorced for over 2 years and have not been with anyone yet. I have not even wanted anyone. While I am obviously out of loop entirely and a bit old fashioned, so therefore not the best person to judge, I have to say that this feels very excessive.

harerunner · 19/09/2023 20:11

Curiousbeancat · 19/09/2023 19:59

I don’t think he’s bullshitting at all
I think he’s being totally honest

In which case I'm guessing he's just out to shag anyone he can, and is devoting his energies in getting laid as much as possible.... it sounds exhausting and actually rather depressing, and I love sex!

weirdoboelady · 19/09/2023 20:11

My con artist alarm bells are going off big time. Sounds to me like someone who is charming, being totally 'honest' by spinning you a thousand lines which make it sound as if they are confessions but which are actually fantasy, and who is actually softening you up for a complete con job. DO NOT GIVE THIS MAN MONEY.

CalistoNoSolo · 19/09/2023 20:12

I'd assume he's riddled with disease and leave very well alone. He sounds like a player tbh, but at least he's been upfront about it with you.

Catsafterme · 19/09/2023 20:15

I know people do it on OLD but I don't think I could see multiple women at the same time, let alone the same day. Dunno, would feel weird...

If you think he's telling the truth maybe give him a pass, though. Doesn't sound trustworthy.

harerunner · 19/09/2023 20:17

@Curiousbeancat

Sorry if I misunderstood, but are you his 5th "girlfriend" that's been going on some weeks as per your OP?

Original poster
Curiousbeancat · 19/09/2023 20:19

harerunner yes he wants me to be his girlfriend as we’ve been dating

OP posts:
PollyAmour · 19/09/2023 20:22

He sounds like a fantasist.

harerunner · 19/09/2023 20:26

Curiousbeancat · 19/09/2023 20:19

harerunner yes he wants me to be his girlfriend as we’ve been dating

And why are you dating him if you think he's "not exactly hot"?

Well, I suppose at least he's well practiced in the sack Confused

Original poster
Curiousbeancat · 19/09/2023 20:28

harerunner because he’s attractive and I thought he was nice to begin with before he started sharing this information…

OP posts:
Original poster
Curiousbeancat · 19/09/2023 20:28

PollyAmour he’s not, trust me

OP posts:
Vretz · 19/09/2023 20:41

Hes got a huge red flag. Anyone in the hookup culture phase is dealing with some emotional issues or just having fun.

Either way, it's not someone to be committing to until they've gone through a barren patch or kept something going for a longer period of time.

I wouldn't emotionally invest here.

SneezingPines · 19/09/2023 20:43

Maybe I'm weird here but any man who feels the need to tell me in detail about his previous conquests isn't one for me. I couldn't care less who he had been shagging but honestly I don't need a detailed breakdown.

I know my fiancé has had a lot more sexual partners than me but he doesn't go into the details as it is irrelevant. If he did I'd be extremely put off. Thankfully he hasn't and is respectful of both our pasts.

pinkyredrose · 19/09/2023 20:45

Curiousbeancat · 19/09/2023 20:28

PollyAmour he’s not, trust me

How do you know? How long have you known him? Hope he's had an Std test.

Original poster
Curiousbeancat · 19/09/2023 20:47

SneezingPines he wasn’t bragging about his conquests as such
we were talking about our past relationships and romantic lives

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 19/09/2023 20:50

I wouldn’t want to date someone who had been on 40 dates in 2yrs, as I wouldn’t feel like they’d be sticking around

SneezingPines · 19/09/2023 20:55

@Curiousbeancat I didn't mean to suggest he was bragging but he must know how it would potentially portray him. It might just be me but I would forever be feeling like I'm being judged against all these others who he has told you about. I've been in a similar situation and it just left me feeling inadequate and empty. I didn't need to know about his sexual past in such great detail.

ItsADoggieDogWorld · 19/09/2023 20:56

I wonder how many of those other women he told it was different with them?
If he's not that hot, it's a good way of reeling in women. For some reason women fall for that bullshit. And why would you want to be with a cheater anyway? Please don't be a sucker, to him you're just the same as all the others he's been with the last few years. Value yourself enough to walk away.

Mountaineer0009 · 19/09/2023 21:33

A serial dater ?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 19/09/2023 21:38

I think the 3 month date is quite relevant. That's about the time women start wanting proper commitment not just 'are we bf and gf' but 'let's plan a holiday, will you be my plus one to a wedding in six months, I've had a tough time can you support me through this, can you pick me up at the airport'

Some men only want honeymoon period romance and not the responsibilities that come with a real relationship he sounds like one of them!

The sad thing is there will always be someone else he is probably quite charming at first 🫤

harerunner · 19/09/2023 21:57

Zanatdy · 19/09/2023 20:50

I wouldn’t want to date someone who had been on 40 dates in 2yrs, as I wouldn’t feel like they’d be sticking around

That's 40 shags, and I very much doubt he got lucky on every single date! He must have had 100s of dates to reach that tally!

Vretz · 19/09/2023 21:57

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 19/09/2023 21:38

I think the 3 month date is quite relevant. That's about the time women start wanting proper commitment not just 'are we bf and gf' but 'let's plan a holiday, will you be my plus one to a wedding in six months, I've had a tough time can you support me through this, can you pick me up at the airport'

Some men only want honeymoon period romance and not the responsibilities that come with a real relationship he sounds like one of them!

The sad thing is there will always be someone else he is probably quite charming at first 🫤

This is very true. An "itch" tends to go off at this stage with most men, where you're either committing or not.

If you want to see his colours, ask him how many dates he's been on with others whilst knowing you. I doubt the answer is zero.