Am I over reacting please help guys x

[Cocobellax]

Okay so quick backstory me and hubby been married 3 years together for 5, we both have the understanding that we don’t want either one of us having friends of the opposite sex we believe that we shouldn’t speak to them unnecessarily and he’s very strict on the matter with me as I am too.
So in his work place he’s started a new role a year ago which is a whole new department so the team is very small like 5/6 people and just my luck they’re all females. So anyways i don’t obv mind him talking to them generally I know you’d have to at work you can’t stare at the wall all day lol. However, I came across chats on his phone where the girls were confiding in him about work related gossip basically, and I was confused as to why they were choosing to confide in him, he assured me that it’s usually when no one else they talk to is in so they just talk to him and he isn’t really interested in it. Anyways another conversation with his ex team member who still works for
The company she asked him what another female colleague of his likes for her birthday, and he knew exactly what she likes hee answer was honestly top notch like coconut scented perfume dior addict lipgloss. And I cant lie it’s really hurt me that he knows all this about some colleague I confronted him and he told me that she’s the kind of person who doesn’t stop talking about these things and everyone at work would have known, she always talks about lipgloss her fav one what she’s gna buy and perfumes and such. But I can’t help but feel hurt that he even remembers what she likes because why would it interest him? But he said that she talks about it so much and the team is so small and albeit he does have a good memory. I then questioned why this colleague asked him about what the other girl likes why would she think he knows and he said because he was the only one in work with the said girl at that time so that’s why she asked him.
So idk I have this hurt feeling I can’t shake like genuinely I can’t eat I can’t even mother properly I feel so weak and like a shit mum. I just need adviceC am I over reacting does his reasoning sound genuine??

we both have the understanding that we don’t want either one of us having friends of the opposite sex we believe that we shouldn’t speak to them unnecessarily and he’s very strict on the matter with me as I am too.

Regardless of anyone elses opinion on this, this is something you have agreed between the 2 of you and seems he is quite strict on this. Both are happy with this and that should be that.

Except its pretty obvious he is telling you one thing about how he conducts himself at work, when in reality he is doing the opposite.
That is the part thats the problem. not the fact he chats to his colleagues. but the fact he has decided and agreed with you that he would not partake in banter with women he works with, when he very clearly does.

It may all be totally innocent, and I expect it is. but thats not the point is it? he has agreed one thing - a thing he expects you to do. But is doing something else - something he would not agree to you doing.

@Bookworm20 Seems like everyone has just jumped on to attack me tbh and you are the only not to so thank you for that.
it’s a rule that he is very strict with me on and tbh people are gna hate on me for this too but we are religious and in our religion that’s basically a rule in itself so it’s not just made up by him.
but yeah guess il just take my self off after all these comments

@Cocobellax I work in a very very diverse team and I don't know any religion that forbids people to talk to the opposite sex at work 🤦🏼‍♀️

"we both have the understanding that we don’t want either one of us having friends of the opposite sex we believe that we shouldn’t speak to them unnecessarily and he’s very strict on the matter with me as I am too"

Wow. That shounds quite toxic to me ? Are you sure this is something that you want ? Is it not worth doing some therapy to explore why you feel this is necessary in order to feel secure in your relationship?

I'm not sure how you expect him to get through work each day without being able to have a friendy conversation with any of his colleagues.

It was agreed by OP and partner, therefore that was their boundaries agreed on. Whether you agree with it or not.